The Bystander

By: Jennica Williams

DISCLAIMER: I am not using Star Trek for profit. Paramount owns the characters, the ships, the uniforms, the biogel packs, even Neelix's food, I'm just here playing around with the ideas running through my head. No copyright infringement is intended.

Commander Chakotay stepped into Tom's Sandrines program. Captain Janeway sat at a remote table in the holodeck by herself. A data PADD was in front of her, and she appeared to be very interested in what she was doing.

"Captain?" he came up behind her. "Is this seat taken?" he indicated the empty chair across from her.

She turned in her seat. "No, go ahead."

"What are you working on?" he tried to pry the PADD out of her hands, but she held fast to it.

"Nothing, commander."

He finally was able to force it from her grip. Skimming it he raised his eyebrows. "I didn't know you wrote holodeck programs."

Her face flushed. "I usually don't. But when I want something to do that will get my mind off of work, I'll do this sometimes."

He raised his eyes from the PADD. "Better than interacting with the crew?"

"Sometimes. Easier for sure." She reclaimed the PADD from his hands and frowned at it.

"What's the decision that needs to be made?"

She looked up at him. "It's a beach scene. Should I add a street beside it or not?"

"Sure." His face broke out into a grin. "Then you can take me to this place. I'd love to see it."

She pressed her lips together. "Ok, I'll take you when I'm done, but not a minute before."

"Take me a minute before, like right now, and I'll help you work on it." He reached over and reclaimed the PADD, and then made a change on it.

She sighed. "Oh, all right. But just remember that this is still very rough."

"Will do." He grinned and followed her from holodeck 1 to the holodeck next door.

Janeway uploaded the information in the PADD to the main computer and then they stepped inside.

The sand still had an artificial feel to it, as did the way the violent sky looked. Here and there were patches that could be seen into the holodeck's black and yellow grid. The ocean's dark blue-green waves pounded on the sand as the salty wind whipped his hair about, he could even taste the sea salt in the air. Down the beach, a red life guard chair could be seen with the umbrella folded down; past that was a hot dog trailer.

Chakotay turned around in a full circle before saying anything. "It's wonderful Kathryn."

She didn't bother to correct them. They were alone, who would hear them? "Thank you." She picked up a handful of the soft white-yellow sand and let the wind blow it out of her hand. "It's kind of what I remembered this beach in Florida to look like on a summer's afternoon...just before the thunderstorms."

"You didn't grow up in Florida."

"No, but my mother's cousin had a place down there. We'd go once in a while for a family vacation. That is, when my father could get time off, he usually ended up leaving early though."

He caught the hurt in her voice and was about to say something, but they were interrupted.

"Tuvok to the captain."

"Go ahead, Tuvok." She answered over the wind.

"You are needed on the bridge."

"On my way."

Together they left the holodeck and made their way to the bridge.

"The Nierztheosn homeworld is hailing us, captain."

"On screen." She took a step forward and reached the center of the bridge. "I'm Captain Janeway of the Federation Starship Voy-"

"Voyager. We know. We know." The man drew himself up to his full height. "I am Cigathean of Nierztheosn, the ruling family. We only require to know what your intent is here."

"Peaceful passage." Janeway said honestly. "All we wanted to do is cross your part of space."

Cigathean didn't ponder it for too long. "I only have one request then. That you take my youngest daughter with you."

"Excuse me sir?" Janeway and the rest of the bridge crew were thoroughly puzzled.

"Take Saniki from here. In our society a daughter in the royal family is frowned upon. But alas, she survived childhood, so now I must find her something. She can not marry anyone from here, that may give us a different royal line, and since she has taken an interest in the stars, I have set out to find a ship that would take her from here, and not return her."

"We will have to discuss this. I will get back to you within an hour." Janeway turned and signaled for the ensign to cut the transmission.

"Commander, Tuvok, my ready room." The trio filed silently inside.

"What do you make of this?" she asked both of them.

"We have difficulty providing for the 147 already on board, it would be illogical to attempt to accommodate one more." Tuvok stated.

"It's only one person." Chakotay replied. "And she's probably had an awful life down there if they didn't want her to start out with. She deserves a chance."

"But the Prime Directive states that we should not get involved in a planet's affairs." Tuvok reminded them.

"The Prime Directive wouldn't be violated by taking one girl who is not wanted."

"It would depend on what she is like." Janeway finally said. "If she is violent or unreceptive to discipline, then we'll have to leave her. But, if she is well mannered and trainable, we could take her, and gain a crew member for the security team, which you just mentioned yesterday needs more members, Tuvok."

"That is true." He frowned even more deeply.

"Then it's settled. We'll allow Cigathean and his daughter to beam up, then I'll make a decision." Janeway followed the other two out of her ready room.

Twenty minutes later Cigathean and his daughter materialized on the transporter pads. Both were incredibly tall. He was over two and a half meters tall, and Saniki was almost two meters tall herself. She was also quite beautiful, Janeway couldn't help but notice. Her skin was pale, but her eyes were a deep brown, which contrasted sharply to her cornsilk colored hair that hung past her waist. What surprised Janeway the most was her age. She had been expecting a young girl of about twenty, but Saniki was closer to forty already, and she behaved appropriately.

After an afternoon of showing them the ship, and then eating lunch together in the mess hall, Janeway decided to allow Saniki to accompany them. She didn't miss how the woman's eyes fastened to Chakotay and lit up when he looked at her, but she knew he was a grown man and could handle her feelings and keep her at bay, so she knew there would be no need to worry about her best friend.

Saniki was given quarters to share with another ensign from security. She was also given the rank of Jr. Ensign, and assigned to work in security, which soon proved to be the place where she would excel.

Janeway and Chakotay stood together, still holding hands, in sickbay. "I'll be in my quarters when you need me." She said softly and then stood on tip toe to give him a kiss on his cheek.

He barely nodded, but hung on to her hand when she tried to pull away. It had been two and a half months since that day so long ago that Saniki had been entrusted to them. She had taken an instant liking to Chakotay, Janeway had seen that from the start, but who would have known what it would have led to?

Two months earlier....

Chakotay sat at the table in Sandrines downing a glass of a cool teal colored liquid.

"Mind if I join you?"

He looked up, startled, and saw the tall form of Saniki before him. "Go ahead." He replied pushing the chair across from him out. She opted to sit in the one beside him instead. They talked for a little bit about the ship, and ship's activities before Tom and B'Elanna joined them.

"So I said to the ensign, did you actually eat that, because I saw Neelix adding some q'pak to it? He started turning green and rushed out of there at Warp 10!"

The group laughed at the poor ensign's expense. Saniki threw her head back laughing and placed her hand on Chakotay's. He was shocked she had done that, but recovered swiftly enough to not let the surprise show. She removed her hand and all was fine again.

The group talked long into the night, and was startled to look up and realize that they were alone, save the holoprogams.

"I think we need to be getting off to bed so we'll be ready for whatever the captain throws at us tomorrow." Tom said reaching for B'Elanna's hand as they rose.

"It is getting late." Chakotay stood and bade them goodnight.

"Commander," Saniki called softly after Tom and B'Elanna had gotten ahead of them. "This is kind of embarrassing, but I'm not sure of my way back to my quarters, could you show me?"

He stared at her incredulously. How had she gotten around the ship for two weeks without being able to find her quarters?

"Tonight was the first time I went to the holodeck." She answered his question before he asked it.

Shrugging he nodded and led her to a turbolift.

"Do you go most nights to the holodeck?" she asked him.

"Some. Some nights I get work done."

"Oh." Saniki was silent for a minute. "What kind of work do you do?"

He took a deep breath, "Mostly working on reading crew reports, or making the schedule for next week. At least in the evening I do that stuff. Stuff that has to be done, but not necessarily that needs to be done during the day."

"Oh," suddenly she grinned at him. "So if I need a day off I need to come see you?"

He looked over at her. "Days are not requested off. You work your shift, and then you are free."

She nodded. "Of course commander, I was only joking."

He smiled at her. "Of course ensign." The turbolift stopped. "Here you go. Just across the hall."

She started to exit, but then turned back suddenly. "Thank you commander, for letting me join your group tonight. I really enjoyed having some fun with you guys."

"Anytime ensign. Tom is always glad for a new ear to try his jokes on."

Saniki did exit the turbolift then, Chakotay watched her hair swing back and forth as she made her way across the hall. It was gorgeous hair, reminded him of Kathryn, he'd love to run his hands through the captain's hair. But even that white-blond hair before him was tempting him. At the last minute Saniki turned and caught him staring. She offered him a shy smile before ducking into her quarters.

Act your age!, he mentally chided himself for not only watching the younger woman's hair, but also for being caught. A senior officer should not have thoughts like that!

"How was your day?" Ensign Wilner asked Saniki as she sat down to lunch in the mess hall.

Saniki smiled broadly. "Great. Tuvok had me checking weapons all morning. I love learning about them."

"Better you than me." Bryant, one of the ensigns from the science labs, answered. "I'd rather not deal with the senior officers."

"Why not?" Saniki inquired.

"They're too old and stiff for me." Jay replied for Bryant who had taken a bite of the casserole. But Bryant nodded in agreement.

"I don't know....." Saniki trailed off. "I spent the other evening with the commander, lieutenant Paris, and lieutenant Torres. It was fun."

"Well sure," Andrea Wilner laughed. "If you like to watch those two lieutenants drool over each other and listen to the commander babble about the captain."

"True, true!" Bryant interjected.

"He didn't babble about the captain, and why would he?"

"He's in love with her." Jay looked astounded that she didn't know. "Can't believe you didn't know that Niki, everyone does."

"He's not in love with her. You guys are just jealous of him. He's got more class and a higher rank than you ever will." With a last growl she pushed her chair back and grabbed her tray as she left the table.

"What'd I say?" Jay watched the tall blond weave through the tables.

"I think she may have a small crush on our commander." Andrea stated observing the direction Saniki was headed.

"I can't believe her." Bryant watched as the newest ensign stopped where the commander was sitting alone, and then took the seat opposite him. "He'd never take an interest in her though....right?

Chakotay did his best to avoid Saniki, but it seemed like she was wherever he went. Finally, he decided to give in and enjoy her friendship.

Captain Janeway stood at the door to the mess hall. Neelix was at his busiest time of day right now, as most of the crew was off and looking for some dinner before they moved to Sandrines for some entertainment. She got her tray of food and moved to find a seat. Chakotay's back was to her, but she could see that the woman sitting across from him. Janeway quickly turned and joined Tuvok and Seven at another table.

"Good evening Captain." Tuvok said nodding at her. Seven echoed her own greeting as Janeway sat down.

"Hello." She replied.

They were just about finished with the meal when Chakotay and Saniki came up to them.

"Are you coming to the holodeck?" Chakotay asked the group, but his eyes were on the captain.

"I have been asked to join some ensigns later." Seven answered.

"For the pool tournament?" Saniki asked.

"Yes."

"There's a pool tournament?" Chakotay smiled. "You love pool, Captain. Why don't you come and show them who's the best?"

She looked at him, in her eyes he could see anger that he knew no one else would notice. "No thank you commander. I have work to do."

He nodded knowing very well that she had finished all of her work that afternoon. "Well, if you decide to come..." he trailed off not sure what to say. 'I'll be waiting for you?', no, he couldn't say that.

Saniki pulled Chakotay by the arm towards the door. "Bye bye!" she called over her shoulder.

Janeway sat in her quarters going over a PADD that could wait until next week before she read it, which was good because she wasn't understanding a word of it. Her stream of thought was centered on the holodeck and wondering what her XO was doing. 'Forget it Janeway, you're not going to find out by sitting in here.' She muttered to herself tossing the PADD on the desk. Well, at least she would have a good excuse, she would mop the floor with Paris during a game of pool, and at the same time watch Chakotay and that little ensign, of whom she just realized she was getting jealous of.

The doors to holodeck 3 where the Sandrines program was running slid open as Janeway strode in. Taking in the scene before her, she made her way to the pool tables. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed her dark, handsome XO and the blond ensign sitting at a table laughing.

"Captain! Welcome!" Paris held out a pool cue to her. "Care to challenge someone?"

It had been ages since she'd really played pool. Everyone knew that she was good, but how good was her old talent which hadn't been used in ages compared to Paris's practice everyday.

"You." She grinned.

His eyes lit up. "All right! Rack 'em up Harry!" He'd show her this time. He'd been practicing for ages.

A little while later, Chakotay looked over to all the commotion coming from near the pool tables. He saw a peeved Paris glaring jokingly at the captain. Suddenly, she gave him a friendly hug. He looked surprised, but accepted it in condolences for his loss.....for the fourth game in a row. Over Paris's shoulder Chakotay met the captain's eyes. She smiled at him, but he didn't return the smile. He was too busy wishing she would hug him in public like she just did Paris.

"Chakotay? Are you ok?"

He snapped out of his daze of watching the beautiful woman with chestnut tresses and turned his attention back to the blond before him. "Sorry." He muttered realizing that she had called him Chakotay, not commander. His confused eyes met hers.

"Do you mind if I call you Chakotay?" she asked nervously.

"I guess not." He said slowly. And so, she proceeded to call him Chakotay, never again Commander.

A few days later Janeway was eating dinner in the mess hall, her only company was the data PADD in front of her.

"This seat taken?"

She looked up startled to see her XO in front of her. "No, I..guess not."

Neither spoke for a few minutes.

"Why aren't you eating with Saniki?" she finally asked.

"I scheduled her to work through dinner." When she gave him a look that clearly said he was crazy he continued. "You and I haven't spent much time together. I was wondering if you'd like to work on the holodeck program tonight."

"It's finished." She took a bite of the bread.

He forced her to meet his eyes. "You said you'd show it to me when you finished, why didn't you tell me?"

"You were busy." She stated simply.

"Not too busy for you though." He was hurt, that had been their project, together, why had she kept it from him?

"Well, I..didn't know you still cared about it."

"Of course I care about it. Saniki is off duty in an hour. Let's go right now and see the program."

She shrugged and pushed back her chair.

Together they stepped into the beach scene. Turbulent storm clouds rolled over one another in the sky above them. The wind whipped at them, pulling their hair and clothes every which way. The roar of the ocean pounding on the shore was almost deafening.

Chakotay started walking down the beach, and when Kathryn didn't follow, he took her hand and pulled her along. They walked in silence for awhile. Finally, he turned with a big smile and shouted something to her.
"What?!" she yelled back.

Chakotay couldn't' hear a word she said, but understood from her confused eyes that she hadn't heard him either. He pulled her into his arms and yelled nearer her ears, "I love it!"

She grinned back at him. The forces of 'nature' were surrounding them, but they were half oblivious to them.

Saniki was finally off duty. She made a mad dash to the mess hall hoping to find Chakotay still there.

"He's not here, Niki." Bryant told her as she tried to slip past their table.

"He and the captain left about an hour ago, something about the holodeck." Jay added, wincing when Andrea stepped on his foot.

"Thank you." She nearly ran from the mess hall in the direction of the holodeck. 'Janeway Storm' was playing in holodeck 4. Saniki slipped in and was shocked by the first gust of wind. What would make them willingly spend time outside like this? A lone figure could be seen down the beach. She started running in the direction, but was astounded when the figure broke apart and she realized it had been the commander and captain wrapped in each other's arms.

The commander saw her and waved, grinning. Janeway was also grinning. Chakotay was still hers, she was sure of it, but she couldn't help feeling like Saniki was invading their space.

Saniki came up to the senior officers kind of nervous.

Janeway turned and told the computer something, instantly the wind died down to a light breeze.

"I like the storm better." Chakotay told her.

"So do I, but we can't hardly hear each other then." She laughed. "Well, I'm going back to my quarters. I'll see you two later."

"They hardly speak anymore." Tom said to B'Elanna.

"I know. She's hurting because of him, you can see it." Torres nodded.

"It doesn't take an idiot to see what the problem is." Harry added.

"I fail to see what the problem is." Seven said.

"The captain is in love with the commander, but he's been spending so much time with Ensign Saniki these past couple of weeks." Harry said softly to her.

"Oh. And she is jealous?"

The group was a little surprised to hear it described like that, but "Yes, our captain had a good case of the green eyes monster." Tom laughed.

"Excuse me?" Torres looked at Tom like he'd grown an extra eyeball.

"Sorry, old earth saying."

"Well, whether they know it or not, and whether Saniki knows it or not, the captain and commander are in love and they belong together." Torres decided.

"Yeah, but will Saniki leave them alone long enough for them to realize it?"

"Speak of the devil....." Harry murmured watching Saniki make her way over to their table.

"Hi guys!" she greeted them cheerfully.

She received one or two murmurs of hi, but everyone looked away, including Seven who was just beginning to understand these strange humans and their reactions.

"Did I do something?" she asked curious to their response.

"No, not at all." Tom said. "Come on B'Ela, didn't you want to show me that holodeck program?"

"And we needed to work on that jeffries tube in engineering." Harry said for himself and Seven; he wouldn't' leave her alone in this situation. So, he took her hand and led her out of the mess hall, followed by Tom and B'Elanna.

Saniki watched them go, then turned and followed them out of the mess hall, but took a different turbolift to another part of the ship. Tears were stinging her eyes when she stepped out. Ringing the door chime on Chakotay's door she stood nervously waiting.

"Come." Chakotay called unsure who would be visiting him at this hour. When Saniki stumbled inside, tears coming down her face, he was instantly alarmed. "What happened?"

She made her way over to his couch and sat down. He joined her at the opposite end. "The senior officers hate me."

"What ever gave you that idea?"

"Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, and Seven." She drew in a large gulp of air.

"Why do you think they hate you?"

"As soon as I walk into a room, they leave. I tried to join them tonight, and they all suddenly had stuff to do."

"Don't' let it bother you. I'm sure they really did have stuff that needed to be done."

"Every evening I've tried to sit with them?" she asked wounded.

Chakotay was startled. "Well, there must be a reason."

"I fail to see what it is."

"Even if they hated you, which I doubt, you've still got me to turn to."

A soft smile finally played on her lips. "Thank you." She rose from the sofa and started for the door.

"Anytime." He returned the smile and followed her.

Suddenly, she leaned over to him and brushed her lips against his. "Thanks for listening to me. I feel better after talking to you, Chakotay."

He still stood in the middle of the room, stunned, ten minutes after she'd left.

Saniki had become a good friend. But was she more than a friend. His hand raised to the lips she'd just kissed. He could still feel her warm breath against them. Maybe she was. She was certainly interested in a relationship with him, something the captain was not. And he didn't want to be alone for the next 65 years. Maybe a relationship with Saniki would be a good thing.

Chakotay finally managed to move from the middle of his quarters to the couch. The captain and him hadn't really spent much time together lately, he realized he'd been spending time with Saniki. He decided to give the relationship with the ensign a shot. What was the worse that could happen?-It doesn't work and they avoid each other. Between an ensign and commander it wouldn't' be near as bad as it would be between a commander and captain.

"Captain? Is everything ok?" Tom Paris asked softly.

"Yes, why?"

"You're sitting on the bridge an hour after your shift is over. You're usually in your ready room by now."

Drats. Had it really been an hour since Chakotay had left her side? She rose and wandered into her ready room. The PADDs had been read, Chakotay had taken care of the schedule, she noticed that Saniki and he had the same times off. A cold feeling swept over her. She needed to get to her quarters.

Janeway stopped in midstride. Chakotay and Saniki were coming down the hall towards her, laughing. She quickly passed them, nodding cordially. She didn't want to think of what her first officer had done to their relationship. 'Admit it, Janeway. You forced him.' She shoved the thought from her head, but she couldn't' help but remember all of the times she had turned Chakotay down for a holodeck adventure or a dinner date. She remembered the last time they had really spent time together-on the holodeck when Saniki had interrupted them. He had kissed her then, they had stayed wrapped in each other's embrace for a while after the kiss too, but she hadn't allowed him to voice anything. She couldn't' allow it. What if it didn't work? 'You'll never find out now because he's interested in that tall blond.'

Suddenly, she felt like she was on the outside. She was watching her XO live his life and she wasn't a part of it. The thought hurt her deeply, but she reminded herself that it had been her choice.

Chakotay begged to be excused from their date a little earlier that night. Saniki had been alarmed that something was wrong, he said no, just had to get some things done. So, they parted.

They had been seeing each other almost every night for the past month. Saniki had only been on board Voyager for a month and a half, but she was making a place for herself. And a place in his heart, Chakotay had to admit. He was afraid it was happening, but what could he do to deny it? He was falling half in love with Ensign Saniki. Or Niki, as he had taken to call her.

Moving toward the captain's quarters, he decided to straighten something out once and for all.

"Come." She called. When Chakotay walked in she jumped up off her seat on the sofa. "Can I help you commander?"

"Yes." He took a seat on her sofa and waited for her to sit. "Kathryn, is there any hope for a relationship between us?"

She took a deep breath. "Chakotay, I care about you, but...the crew,....the ship. I have my responsibilities to them first." That was the right answer, the one Starfleet would want her to give. Not the one she wanted to give.

He looked away for a long moment. Tears were trying to surface to his eyes, but he didn't let them. "Thank you for telling me then..." He trailed off not sure what to say.

"I wish it could be different." Kathryn said quietly.

She was startled by the look in his eyes.

"So do I, Kathy." He rose then, ready to leave her quarters. She let him go. No more words were needed.

Saniki and Chakotay were in holodeck 2 running a dancing program for their next date. Ever since he'd found out she didn't like the outdoors, they'd stayed away from them. Kathryn liked the outdoors, he remembered thinking of the beach program.

"Chakotay.....Niki to Chakotay..." she waved a hand in front of his face.

He jumped, startled. "Oh!, sorry Niki."

"What were you thinking about?"

He took a deep breath, 'do it...do it now.' "Well, we've known each other for a while now..."

She laughed, "All of two months."

"Almost two and a half," he corrected. "I was wondering,...if you'd marry me...."

Her eyes lit up. "Yes!!" she was suddenly in his lap, kissing him. She pulled back. "Yes, Chakotay, I'll marry you..." she kissed him again. Slowly, he began to return the kiss, his arms slid around her and pulled her closer.

'Maybe it would work', he thought to himself trying to lose himself in her kiss like he did in Kathryn's.

"Let's go tell the captain." She said breathlessly pulling away from him. "I want to be married as soon as we can."

He nodded reluctantly, but followed her.

"Come." Janeway called. When the couple entered she was more than a little surprised. "What can I do for you, commander, ensign?"

Chakotay took a seat on her couch without waiting to be invited. Saniki nervously followed him and sat beside him, and reached for his hand.

Janeway didn't miss the action as she took her own seat. "What is it?"

Chakotay knew he'd have to be the one to speak. He swallowed hard before saying, "We'd like for you to marry us."

Her eyes locked with his. "Marry you..." Emotions flooded both pairs of eyes...surprise, regret, anger,...love.

Saniki was well aware that something had transpired between the two, but she wasn't sure what.

"Yes." Chakotay nodded faintly. "I want for you to perform the ceremony for Niki and I."

'This is the cruelest thing you could ever do to me!' Janeway wanted to shout, but she held it in. "I'd be glad to." She said tightly. "If you'll excuse me, I have some things I need to attend to."

Chakotay stood and allowed Saniki to lead the way to the door. Something made Niki turn before she reached the door. Tears were pooling in the captain's eyes as she looked at Chakotay. His eyes were full of regret as he gazed back at his captain.

It struck Saniki like a load of dithium crystals. They were in love. She wanted to cry herself. Why had he asked her to marry him if he was still in love with the captain??

Once the couple was in the hall, she turned to him. "Care for some dinner in the mess hall? I didn't get anything before our date."

"No thanks, I'm going to go to my quarters a little early. I'll see you tomorrow." He gave her a light kiss on her cheek before slipping into the comfort of his own quarters.

Chakotay sat down in the middle of his floor right away with his medicine bundle. He slid into his vision easily. When he opened his eyes, he was in the familiar forest clearing. His guide was sitting a distance away from him.

'Why do you go to the pale woman?' he heard her thought.

'She loves me.' He answered.

'You are a fool.'

'How so?'

'You run from true love, and into this false love you have created.' The wolf began to circle an area in front of him.

'Who should I marry then? Who is this true love?'

'You know you should not leave the stubborn woman alone.' She answered.

'But just as I think we're getting into a relationship, she pulls back.'

'Like a circle?' she stopped and stood in front of him.

'Yes. Like a circle.' He realized then why she had been circling him.

'The circle will end one day.' She replied.

'When?' he asked excitedly. 'When?'

The wolf cocked her head listening. Then suddenly, she was gone. He was left alone in the clearing by himself.

Janeway slumped back on her couch. He was getting married. He was actually going to marry that woman! Tears, finally free, poured down her cheeks. He couldn't have hurt her anymore than by that announcement. 'I want you to perform the ceremony for us.' She had felt like he'd slugged her in the stomach. If he had, it would have hurt less. And now, all she could do was watch like some spectator without a say in what he did with his life.

Crying harshly, and then a little more softly, Janeway fell asleep.

The captain stood at the front of the alter with Chakotay and his bride before her. She didn't remember how she'd gotten there, but she knew why she was there, and it tore her up inside.

"Do you Chakotay, take this woman to be your wife?" she recited, her voice wavering on the last note. No one, save Chakotay, noticed.

He glared at her. "I do!" he turned to his bride and beamed at her.

Janeway turned to Saniki. "Do you Saniki, take this man to be your...husband?" she could hardly get the words out, but the rest of the crew seemed oblivious to them.

"I do!" Saniki gave Chakotay that silly grin of hers that Janeway had come to hate.

"I pronounce you man and wife." Janeway felt herself say. Tears welled up in her eyes as Chakotay took Saniki in his arms and kissed her.

With a gasp the captain sat up. It was 0200 hours and she was still in her quarters on her couch. Saniki and Chakotay were not married, yet. Tears from her dream turned out to be real on her face. She hastily wiped them away. She had to get out. Calm down somehow. Her program. The beach had calmed her when she was little, maybe the waves on the sand would drown out her own thoughts. She nearly ran to the holodeck.

"Run program Janeway storm." She instructed.

"Unable to comply, that program is already in use." The computer told her.

"Where?"

"In holodeck 1."

"Who is in there?"....if he brought Saniki to their place.......

"Commander Chakotay."

"Is he alone?"

"Affirmative."

Making up her mind, Janeway opened the doors and allowed herself entrance. The storm was more furious than usual. She could just make out the figure of a man sitting down the beach. He hadn't noticed her yet though.

Gathering her courage, Janeway began trotting over the sand in his direction.

Chakotay looked up at her, and then swallowed. He had kind of expected her to come, but wasn't entirely sure he was ready for her.

Janeway dropped into the sand beside him. She said something and the storm's winds died down. Then they sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Why are you doing this?" she finally asked.

"Why am I getting married? I don't want to be alone for the next 65 years. I want to have a companion and a family."

"Do you love her?"

"Of course." He said too quickly.

She saw right through him. "You really love her?"

He sighed. "I love her as a friend. She'll be a good friend and mother."

"But you're not in love with her..."

He looked over at the captain. "No Kathryn, I'm not in love with her."

She started to say something, but was interrupted by the comm.

"Sickbay to Commander Chakotay."

"Chakotay here doctor, what is it?"

"I need for you to come to sickbay, immediately."

Chakotay and Janeway silently left their program and hurried to sickbay. Upon entering, they found Saniki lying on a biobed.

"What happened?" Chakotay asked going to her side.

"I've never seen anything like it." The doctor answered turning to them from a panel. "She ate leola root."

"Leola root did this?" Chakotay glanced down at the pale, limp figure on the bed.

"Leola root has an acid in it that is attacking the vitamin C in her body. This causes the vitamin C to not make collegen. I've tried to add vitamin C, but that only speeds up the process." The doctor turned to Chakotay, "Commander, she's going to die of scurvy."

"Can't you do anything?" Janeway came forward.

"If I had more time, possibly."

"How much time?" Chakotay asked hoarsely.

"Twenty minutes, thirty. I can't be sure. She is the first of her kind for us to have even entered in our data banks, we have no idea how she is responding to this. But it does look like it's going to be fast. I'll leave you alone now. There is nothing more I can do."

Janeway turned to back away also.

"Captain?"

She turned back to the weak alien on the bed.

"I want for you to hear what I say." Saniki softly got the words out. Janeway came and stood beside Chakotay. "Chakotay....I love you,....but I want to break any sort of engagement we had.....you don't love me...." when he started to protest she took his hand "..if there had been...a fraction of the love...in our relationship...as there is..in yours and the captain's...then I may have...been willing to marry..you." She reached for the captain's hand also, then she gave a half hearted grin. "Fact is.....I'm about...to die....you guys can't order me...to not do...or not say anything...so...I'm going...to tell you...what the crew...has....seen.....all along........you're in love with each other." She let the words sink into them as she pressed the two hands she held together. They accepted the other's hand, as she knew they would. "Go...marry each other...the crew....is.....counting......on it..." Her head fell to the side as she whispered her last words.

The doctor came rushing out of his office when the biobed sent out a steady note. The captain and commander stood beside Saniki's body, both unmoving. She felt him squeeze her hand, drawing strength from her presence beside him.

Despondently, the captain tapped her comm badge and opened a channel to the rest of the crew to inform them of the death of one of their crew member.

A half hour later, Janeway and Chakotay stood together, still holding hands, in sickbay. "I'll be in my quarters when you need me." She said softly and then stood on tip toe to give him a kiss on his cheek.

He barely nodded, but hung on to her hand when she tried to pull away. "Don't leave." He whispered. So she didn't. The doctor had deactivated himself for a few hours, so when the captain felt like she needed to give Chakotay a hug, she did exactly that. He clung to her, softly crying.

She led him to sit in one of the hard chairs beside the biobeds. Together, they cried for Saniki.

"I'm here whenever you need me." Janeway whispered against his cheek.

"Will you?" he asked her. "Would you really? Or will protocol always be in the way?"

She hesitated.

"You didn't hear anything she said." He pulled back a little bit. "The crew expects us to get together, Kathryn.....they're waiting for it! Why can't you let us?"

She pulled herself back into his arms. "I can.... I will...." she whispered determinedly.

He pulled her closer. "Do you really mean it?"

She lifted her face to his. He claimed her mouth in a soft kiss.

"Yes, I mean it." She murmured against his lips before allowing herself to lose herself in his kiss.

Finis.