DISCLAIMER: I am not using Star Trek for profit. Paramount owns the characters, the ships, the uniforms, the biogel packs, even Neelix's food, I'm just here playing around with the ideas running through my head. No copyright infringement is intended.
Physics. Logic. Gravity. Psychology. At its most basic level, that was the
sum of the game. How much friction would the ball encounter as it rolled across
the green felt? How much force would be needed to knock another of the heavy
balls into the pocket without the cue ball following? In what direction must the
shot be made so as to set up the next? What was the opponent thinking? How would
she set up her next shot? And, how clever was she at taking the ones left open
if you missed?
She leaned over the table, auburn tresses falling over her shoulder. She
quickly pushed back the hair and calculated the angle of the table (even though
it was supposed to be perfectly level, everyone knew that the corner closest to
the bar was slightly lower) in addition to the force needed to set up her next
shot.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her opponent nervously tapping her
foot. Nervous, she should be, she thought to herself with a small smile gracing
her lips. She could take the whole game right now, if she chose. But, she wouldn’t.
Not this time. Allowing the cue ball to ricochet off the side of the table
without hitting anything, she straightened. "Your turn."
The other girl quickly moved into position and, without giving heed to the
laws of physics, made her shot. "Yes!" She exclaimed. "Would you
look at that!"
"You only sunk one," Elizabeth replied leaning against a wall and
raising an eyebrow at her best friend.
"But, I can get this one over here," M’Rana Paris raved, her
part-Klingon brown twitching with excitement. "And then, I’ll only have
two left. I’ll beat you yet, Elizabeth Kim! For once, I’ll beat you!"
"Maybe," Beth replied mysteriously. "Maybe not."
"Maybe nothing," M’Rana laughed after sinking her green ball.
"Maybe I should leave now," Beth feigned a yawn and moved to put
her cue stick in the rack again. "It’s getting late."
"Fraidy cat!" "M’Rana taunted, wanting to finish the pool
game. This was the closest she had ever come to beating Beth and she wasn’t
about to allow the other girl to forfeit. Maybe it was because M’Rana had been
practicing with Voyager’s former pool champ- her own father. Or, maybe
it was because Beth had seemed more distracted ever since the discovery of her
true parentage three weeks ago. Whatever the reason, M’Rana was winning and
she wanted to finish the game.
"I can take you any day, Paris," Beth declared reclaiming her cue
and lifting her chin with confidence. "And, I’ll prove it."
Both girls held their breath as M’Rana stepped up to take another shot.
But, Beth knew she’d never make it. With the lack of care given to which
direction she would shoot, she knew M’Rana was playing several levels beneath
the skill she was capable of, so she was slightly surprised when the shot was a
success. When it was followed by another equally careless shot that achieved the
desired goal, Beth frowned intensely.
"Wait a minute," Beth muttered. There were four balls, plus the
cue, still on the table. Two were hers, one was M’Rana’s and one was the
eight ball. The way things were going, she may actually lose!
M’Rana leaned over the table and took aim for the next shot. She would
never admit it, but her hands were shaking slightly as she pulled back the cue
stick and smartly hit the ball. A sharp crack resounded in the darkened bar
followed by the decisive thud of the last striped ball. Mere seconds later, she
had sunk the eight ball.
"Congratulations, M’Rana," Beth said with eyebrows raised in
surprise.
"There’s a first for everything. And you’ve had a lot on your
mind," M’Rana reminded her. "Your game was bound to be a little
off."
"I’m never off when it comes to pool."
"Bethie," M’Rana sighed, reverting back to her baby-name for her
best friend, "Your father isn’t exactly his normal self either. For that
matter, hardly any senior officer is. You need to give yourself time to get used
to the idea of having the captain for a father."
"I don’t want to talk about this," Beth swiftly closed the
subject as she set the cue stick down again. "I…I’ve got to go."
M’Rana watched, not shocked that Beth had cut their conversation short, as
the other girl left the holodeck with a thundercloud growing over her head.
Beth leaned against the walls of the turbolift and concentrated on wiping the
thin sheen of sweat from her face. Why was this becoming the ‘normal’
reaction every time the subject came up? When someone mentioned the captain as
her father, she grew incredibly agitated. She knew he was her father. Why
did everyone have to keep reminding her?
Quickly, she covered the territory from the turbolift back to the quarters
she shared with the only parents she had ever known until three weeks ago. Her
mom would be on duty, she knew, and her dad had mentioned something this morning
about resurrecting an old holoprogram with Tom Paris, and Beth was glad their
quarters would be empty. Letting herself into the darkened rooms, she didn’t
bother with the lights, but stumble to her bedroom and sank onto her bed.
"What’s happening to me, Flotter?" she asked with a sigh, picking
up the worn stuffed toy. The faded blue material with dulling eyes didn’t
answer her, of course, but talking to her childhood friends had always given her
a sense of comfort. Reaching a hand out, she found Flotter’s friend, Treevis,
on the edge of her bed. Naomi Wildman had shown Elizabeth the programs when she
was about six years old. She then proceeded to pester anyone willing to listen
to her for more than five minutes to go with her on the adventures for the next
five years. Most of the time, Beth went with M’Rana. Sometimes, their dads
went with them. Once in a very great while, Beth’s mom, Seven, would take her.
But, she hadn’t been near the old databases in almost six years.
With another sigh, Beth tossed Flotter and Treevis aside in favor of her
computer terminal. There was a message, she saw. From Captain Chakotay inquiring
as to why she had missed their morning breakfast- again. Marking it as unread,
Beth tried to push her biological father to the back of her mind as she called
up the data on the plant she had discovered three weeks prior.
If they could have found a way to replicate it, Beth was almost certain it
would sustain vital parts of engineering. Hopefully, the plant could be used to
create matter and minerals to produce energy. But, replicating it would take
energy. As soon as Beth had realized her blunder, she had set about a way to
grow the plant on Voyager.
It would be difficult, she had quickly discovered. The aeroponic garden was
an optimized environment for growing plants, but this particular one had thrived
on the side of a cliff being tormented by thunderstorms and hail- and Beth was
pretty certain Captain Chakotay wouldn’t allow her to recreate those
conditions in the aeroponic garden.
Touching a finger to the tiny seedling in the small pot beside her computer,
Beth wrinkled her nose. The soil was bone dry-- again. She had watered it only
that morning and already it had taken in the sweet liquid. After replenishing
the water, she brought out an old-fashioned ruler Samantha Wildman had given her
and measured it. Four centimeters, exactly, she saw with satisfaction. It had
been three point nine six centimeters when she’d left early that morning.
"Beth?"
Straightening up, Beth silently eyed her dad as he entered her room decked
out in the strangest costume she had ever seen him in. A blue shirt, nothing
like she had ever laid eyes on, buttoned up the front and had a collar that
appeared to fold down. His pants, definitely not the standard Starfleet issue,
were khaki colored and cinched at the waist with a black belt.
"What are you doing back so early? I thought M’Rana had coerced you
into a game of pool." Harry stepped inside and ruffled his daughter’s
hair causing her to pull back stiffly. "Hey, what’s the matter?"
Beth shrugged and shook her head. "Nothing," she answered in a
distant voice.
"Did you and M’Rana have a fight?"
"No," Beth glared at the computer terminal as she remembered the
last time he had asked her that. At that time, she had just returned from a game
of velocity with M’Rana (or, to be more accurate, she had returned from a trip
to sickbay after the game of velocity). "Why is it that every time I come
back early, you think we had a fight? Can’t something other than M’Rana be
bothering me?"
Harry watched the back of his daughter’s head carefully. She had changed.
Since the discovery about her birth and the circumstances surrounding her
upbringing, she had become more withdrawn. Once, the quarters had been filled
with laughter during off hours when the whole family was together, but slowly
the laughter had died away. Almost overnight, Harry realized, Beth had taken
from running to meet her parents to pester them for news of the days’ events
to secluding herself in her room. They had been prepared for a change in her
demeanor, but not this drastic and not for this amount of time.
"Beth," he finally said softly, laying a hand on her shoulder,
"You’ve always talked to me in the past. Talk to me now."
She pulled away from him sharply. "I told you, nothing’s wrong. I just
want to get this work done."
"You’ve been working an awful lot, lately," Harry admonished
gently, "Didn’t I ask you to take some time off last week?"
"Yes," she snapped. "But-"
"But nothing. I don’t like to see you buried up to your elbows in
databases eighteen hours a day. It’s not healthy."
"It’s just for a little bit-"
"Elizabeth-"
"I just want to get this done," Beth repeated, trying to keep the
anger in her heart from filtering into her voice and actions. "It’s my
project and I want to be the one to see it through."
"Promise me you’ll take some free time," Harry said, dropping to
sit on the edge of her bed.
"Not right now, Dad," she argued. "I’ve just got-"
"Do you want me to make it an order?" Harry asked, his tone of
voice warning that he wouldn’t hesitate to do it. "You’ve been working
yourself entirely too hard, Elizabeth, and I don’t want to see this."
Beth’s face fell as she remembered their conversation only a few days ago.
"Fine," she whispered, accepting the fact that as her foster dad, he
was still the one she had to obey. "I’ll spend part of tomorrow doing
something other than work." It wasn’t spoken, but she knew he expected
her and M’Rana to go to the holodeck or something like that. But, if Beth got
her way, she would curl up with Jane Eyre. She was almost done with it….
"Good girl," Harry dropped a kiss on the top of her head as he
moved toward the door. "I’m on my way to meet Uncle Tom."
"For what?" Beth asked, too curious about his costume to
remember the smoldering flame of anger haunting her.
"An old holodeck game we used to play," Harry laughed at his
daughter’s face. "Captain Proton," he delivered dramatically.
Beth’s eyebrows came together in confusion, "Captain who?"
"Nevermind." He chuckled. "I’ll see you and mom later
tonight."
~ * =/\= ~
Chakotay glared at the screen in front of him wishing it would answer the
question he had just voiced. "Why?" He repeated, staring at the data
in the different fields.
Beth had missed all of the four breakfasts they had scheduled for this week
and two from last week. Each and every message he sent her had been read and
then marked as unread. Thanks to some handy tagging tips learned in his Maquis
days, Chakotay had been able to determine exactly when she had read each note.
"Why?" he asked again.
She was reading them, so why didn’t she reply? For that matter, why didn’t
she come to breakfast as scheduled? After their first real father/daughter talk
in which Beth had told him she would like to get to know him, they had agreed to
set aside an hour at breakfast to talk to each other. And, at first, she had
arrived at each meeting prompt. Then, she started to show up late. Finally, not
at all.
Chakotay rarely saw his daughter anymore unless it was on the bridge or in
passing. The few times he’d tried to talk to her, she always had somewhere she
had to be- at least, that’s what she coolly informed him of.
It was times like this that he missed Kathryn the most. Of course he always
missed her, but the pain was even more prominent when Chakotay was faced with a
situation he knew she would have answers for. It was at those times he was left
to struggle with not only the situation at hand, but his late wife’s memory.
Tugging open the small drawer, the captain rummaged through data padds and
trinkets from yesteryear as his hand sought out the object he knew would be
hiding.
Curling his fingers around the thin, gold strip, Chakotay withdrew the chip
and held it up to the light. "You’d want her to know, wouldn’t you
Kathryn?" he said softly. The serial numbers were still readable, but he
didn’t need to look at them to know what they said. MC7450-LK. The same as
they had always been. Seventeen years ago and today, it didn’t make a
difference to the chip. Just like the data it held. Unaffected by time or
distance, it would always be the same. But, Chakotay had never seen it.
It wasn’t because he hadn’t made the time. On the contrary, actually.
Several times Chakotay had planned to view the old chip, but he had never taken
it from the room where she had left it.
And, it wasn’t because he was scared of what he would discover. He already
knew what was on it. At least, he had a pretty good idea because its match was
buried in the desk as well.
It was because the chip didn’t belong to him. And maybe now it was finally
time to give it to its rightful owner.
"Kim to Chakotay, we’ve got a class-M planet on sensors."
"I’ll be right there," Chakotay said shoving the chips back into
the drawer. Later. He would return it later.
~ * =/\= * ~
Seven of Nine glanced around sickbay as she entered and then opened her mouth
to call for the doctor.
"Seven!" he exclaimed, cutting her off and rushing to welcome her.
"I hear you’ve been busy! And look! A real uniform, like mine no
less."
"Yes," she replied, slightly taken aback by his enthusiastic
greeting.
"Good. I’m glad that you’ve progressed so nicely," he smiled at
his dear friend. Since the time the Doctor had been reactivated by Beth, he had
retaken his sickbay, but not had time in the past three weeks to make his rounds
and reacquaint himself with old friends. Why, he had his hands full with just
trying to recall the names and faces of the injured patients coming in to
sickbay! "What can I do for you today?"
"Mr. Neelix scheduled my annual physical for today," Seven
explained. "Am I to assume that you have taken over his duties?"
"Only what was rightfully mine before the Commander- excuse me, Captain-
attempted to delete me," the Doctor gestured for her to climb on a biobed
as he flipped open his medical tricorder. "I discovered that I have you
thank for rescuing my program." Holding her gaze over the top of the
tricorder, he regarded her solemnly. "Thank you."
"Thanks is unnecessary," Seven replied. "I felt as though I
had lost both my mother and my best friend that day. Captain Janeway had guided
me and even attempted to shape my beliefs in the image of her own. She
failed," Seven said with a wry smile, "But I did come to view her as a
maternal figure. And you," she hesitated only for a moment, "I
considered you a dear friend—perhaps more than a friend. I had developed
feelings for you that surpassed mere friendship."
"Seven, you never told me that," the Doctor said, flustered.
"I was unsure how to proceed," She explained. "And, after my
dating disaster with Lieutenant Chapman, I felt it best to leave the matter
unmentioned."
"I was your mentor and teacher, but I cared—and still do care—for
you a great deal more-"
"Doctor, you should not say that." As his features twisted in
confusion, she hurried to continue. "The captain left me her daughter. With
no former instruction on raising a child, I ordered Ensign Kim to marry me and
assume the patriarchal figure for Beth. In the time that has passed, I have
developed feelings for Harry that transcend any emotions I have felt before. I
never knew it was possible to love anyone as much as I do both Harry and Beth
and I’m thankful for the opportunity to experience it."
The Doctor watched her for a moment and then resumed his scans. "Tell
me," he said clearing his throat and changing the subject, "I haven’t
had a free moment since my holoemitter was reactivated. Has Voyager
changed that much?"
"Many children have been born," Seven provided, easily switching
topics. "And, we have lost several crewmembers as well."
"Oh?" he briefly glanced up from his tricorder with an annoyed
face. "Details, Seven, details. You must remember that I’m a medical
genius who has been cooped in his bottle for nearly twenty years!"
"Genie," Seven corrected gently.
"Genie, genius, makes no difference to me," he leveled her with the
famous ‘Doctor’s glare’, "Now?"
Seven raised her Borg eyepiece slightly. Where to start, she wondered.
"You have no doubt reviewed the databases and are familiar with the newest
crewmembers who have been born on Voyager. In addition to them, one more
Delta Quadrant native, Roget, has joined the crew. He was approximately two
Terran years when his mother sought passage to a colony thirteen light years
from her home. Captain Chakotay granted her passage, but she died enroute during
a skirmish on the edge of the Takarian sector. Roget was taken to the colony,
but we arrived only to discover that everything in the system had been decimated
by a nebula expansion."
"What of the boy’s original family?"
"He had none," Seven continued. "His mother had been seeking a
new life away from her home planet. Being that he had lived with us for several
months at that point, the Takarian government thought it best for the child to
remain with us. Ensign Wilner, who had been caring for the boy, readily agreed
and has kept the child since."
"And where is the boy now?"
"He is the same age as Beth and working as an engineering officer."
"Interesting…" the Doctor muttered as he moved to download his
tricorder information into the ship’s database. "Your Borg enhancements
appear to be functioning within normal standards and I’m pleased with the rate
in which your human organs have taken over your body. One of these days,"
the Doctor began as he returned to her side and held the silver scanner over her
left eye "We may be able to remove that eye piece."
"I prefer to leave it intact," Seven informed him carefully.
"It is a part of me and a reminder of who I was, but no longer am."
Brown eyes looked away from the tool in his hand and into clear blue ones as
he tried to read her. "I see," he said slowly, finally stepping back.
"In that case, that will be all for now. I’ll call you if I need to run
anymore scans."
"Thank you, Doctor."
The Doctor moved back to his console and began to return to the work he had
been doing, but a lingering memory called itself to the front of his
subroutines. "Seven, do you still sing?"
"Occasionally."
"Would it be acceptable for me to ask you to join me on holodeck two at
eighteen hundred hours? I seem to be minus a partner for our duets. And, Neelix
has informed me that there will be another talent show in the near future."
"I am scheduled for duty at eighteen hundred hours," Seven replied.
"However, I will join you at fifteen thirty if it is agreeable to
you."
The Doctor blinked, momentarily stunned. "That’s fine. I look forward
to it."
"As do I, Doctor."
Returning his attention to the console in front of him, the Doctor couldn’t
resist a glance in the direction of the doors Seven had just exited, "I can’t
believe it; she’s learned manners."
~ * =/\= * ~
Beth tugged on the neck of the gray shirt under her uniform jacket as she
tapped her foot anxiously on the turbolift floor. The high neck always seemed to
choke her, but none more than when she was about to be late for duty.
It was her own fault, she knew. She had been the one responsible for burying
her nose in the very databases her dad was trying to get her out of- without
setting the chrono to remind her to report for duty. Lieutenant Paris wouldn’t
be happy.
Finally, after what seemed an eternity, the doors slid apart and Beth fairly
sprung from the ‘lift as she hastily made her way to the helm station.
"Ensign."
Beth froze halfway to her console and turned to face Captain Chakotay who sat
in the command ring. "I’m sorry, sir."
"You know that tardiness to duty shifts will not be tolerated,
correct?"
"Yes," Beth lifted her eyes to meet the glare of her father. Would
he actually dress her down on in the middle of the bridge, she wondered as her
stomach tightened.
"Report to sickbay tomorrow evening and tell the doctor you’re to
sterilize every instrument before returning to your quarters until your next
duty shift."
Beth almost opened her mouth to protest, but quickly snapped it shut. Giving
Chakotay a quick nod, she made her way to where Tom was still stationed.
"Jaysen or M’Rana?" Tom asked, a twinkle in his sky-blue eyes. He
knew that M’Rana had scheduled the holodeck time for herself and Beth, but he
also knew that Jaysen Dalby was interested in the captain’s daughter.
"Neither," Beth whispered back as she slid into the seat at the
conn. "I was doing some research."
"On that plant, I suppose?" Tom patted the top of her head
affectionately. "I’ll have to excuse you then. This time."
"Thanks, Uncle Tom. And, I’m sorry I’m late."
"Don’t worry about it," Tom replied as Harry called something to
the captain. "Just remember we have some piloting lessons scheduled this
week. I expect you to be on time."
"I’ll remember," Beth replied, taking inventory of the helm
sensors. "A new planet?"
"Came up on sensors about an hour ago. Oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere,
several mountain ranges and fjords- perfect for some flying lessons- and traces
of dilithium in the crust. We’ve set a course and should be there in a couple
of hours."
"Inhabited?"
"By a warp-capable civilization."
"Standard mission?"
"So far, you could write a text by it."
"Maybe someone will," she replied, touching the console to bring up
a new frame of data. "Looks interesting."
Tom shrugged, uninterested, "As exciting as every other class-M planet,
I suppose. I’ll leave it to your capable hands."
Beth murmured goodbye as she concentrated on the sensors in front of her. The
last thing she wanted to do was glance over her shoulder to find her father’s
eyes resting on her from the command center. So, she instead concentrated on the
readings coming from the planet. That was actually Harry Kim’s job, but for
the moment she watched the tiny OPs display at her own station.
"Wilner, take the helm," Beth jumped as the captain laid a hand on
her shoulder. "Beth, a word with you in my ready room, please."
Slowly, Beth relinquished her post to Andrea Wilner and followed her father
mutely. The tightening in her stomach had turned into a knot before she reached
the doors to the captain’s private domain and as the doors slid shut, dread
clamored up her throat. She knew what she had done to their morning breakfasts
was rude and uncalled for. But what about him? What about his own actions
seventeen years ago?
"Is there anything you’d like to say?" Chakotay asked softly,
leaning against his desk.
By not rounding it and sitting his body language spoke that he was asking her
as a father, not as a captain. Beth didn’t like that at all. She wouldn’t
have wanted Harry Kim as a dad if she had been given a choice as a baby, but now
that the deed was done, she didn’t want another father.
"No," she replied coldly.
Chakotay visibly winced at her icy tone. Eyeing her silently for a moment, he
shook his head in slight frustration he struggled to keep his voice from
wavering, "Beth, a couple weeks ago you told me you wanted to get to know
me. I told you I was willing." Taking a deep breath, he watched her
reaction as he continued. "I have to tell you that being with you is hard
for me. You remind me so much of your mother that it’s actually painful for me
to look at you. Sometimes," he said as his voice grew wistful, "I’ll
see you at the end of a corridor or from across the messhall and for a split
second, I think you’re Kathryn. Every time, I have to remind myself that you’re
not her and every time, it hurts just as bad as the day she died."
He was still trying to gauge her reaction, she decided as she crossed her
arms over her chest and waited, head cocked to the side, for him to continue.
She refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that it pained her to think
she was hurting him.
"I’m not opposed to trying this again. Your mother would have wanted
me to know you. I want to know you," Chakotay finally continued
after a long silence. "I know it won’t make up for the past seventeen
years, but I want to try. Can we both agree to that?"
Beth frowned at him as her blue eyes met his open brown ones. Should she
agree to it, she wondered. Was there even a point anymore? Her father had given
her away mere minutes after her birth. He had never shown any interest in her
until she had discovered the truth. The truth about her biological parents wasn’t
something that she was told as she grew older; instead, it had been concealed
from her in the darkest of recesses on Voyager. If she and M’Rana hadn’t
been poking around the cargobay that day and if Roget hadn’t stumbled on the
doctor’s holoemitter, Beth suspected she may never have learned the secret
that had been hidden.
Why should she bother trying to get to know someone who dropped her
like a sack of leola root? Should she forgive him for his past transgressions
against her and try to start over with the risk of being hurt again lingering at
the back of her mind? There would always be that doubt, Beth knew-- she would
always wonder if the captain was attempting to salvage his relationship with her
because he wanted to or because it was what his wife would have wanted. Beth
didn’t want to be subject to those emotions, she knew. Burying the anger deep
inside her heart, she raised a defiant chin and prayed her voice wouldn’t
wobble the way her stomach was.
"No."
"No?"
"No," she repeated her voice slightly stronger. "I’ve had
several weeks to think about this and I’ve decided that I don’t want another
father."
"Another- Beth, I’m not trying to take Harry’s place. I realize he’s
been your dad since you were a baby and you’ll always look to him. But, can’t
we try to mend the relationship that should exist between us?"
Shaking her head, she backed towards the door. "I don’t want to know
you. I don’t want to be on the same ship as you. And I certainly don’t want
you for a father."
Chakotay’s face was etched with the pain of rejection as he silently
pleaded with his daughter to not turn him away as her mother had so many times
before. She didn’t know he was remembering that, of course, but he was.
Kathryn had stolen his heart and then walked away numerous times before they
began to form a relationship. And, Chakotay sometimes thought that was part of
what had led to the drastic change in his demeanor after her death. But now,
their daughter was going to push him away just as her mother did so many times.
Beth watched him for a moment, her own heart wishing she could run forward
and trust this man. But, the plain fact was that she couldn’t trust him as a
father. Better leave it alone, she reminded herself turning on her heel in the
direction of the door. She was better off without having him complicate her home
life.
"You’re making a mistake by doing this," Chakotay whispered
hoarsely in a last-ditch effort. "It may be years down the road before you
wish you could have known your mother and myself, but the time will come. And
the opportunity will have slipped away."
Pausing just before the point where the sensors would detect her presence,
she glanced over her shoulder at the man leaning against his desk. "I didn’t
make the mistake- you did. Seventeen years ago."
~ * =/\= * ~
The metal surface of the tiny craft gleamed in the brilliant light that
reflected its surface. Suspended in midair, it was a perfect replica of the Ares
IV command module that had been discovered so many years ago.
M’Rana’s fingertips gently brushed the smooth edge of the object as it
swung from the string that suspended it above her desk. She had spent many
nights up late reading about the mission- the mission her father had helped
salvage. The old Mars missions had forged a special relationship with her dad,
she knew. When M’Rana had begun taking an interest in them, Tom Paris was
always there with another piece of the database or a picture for her to study.
It had become a competition of sorts, in the past few years. Who could find
something in the old databanks that the other didn’t know existed or had
forgotten about.
M’Rana sighed deeply as she withdrew her hand and let her eyes drift to the
image of Mars framed above her desk. She had always treasured the friendship and
father/daughter relationship she’d had with her father and it pained her to
realize that Beth would probably never have that. If today had been any
indication of her feelings towards her father, M’Rana remembered, Beth was
burying more emotions of animosity in her heart than she cared to acknowledge.
"M’Rana!"
The part Klingon girl jumped as her comm badge came to life where she’d
laid it on her desk. Tapping it quickly, she answered the hail from her best
friend.
"Transporter room one in ten minutes," Beth continued, her voice
still giving away her excitement. "We’ve found a small planet and the
captain has ordered us to secure supplies."
"Us?" M’Rana frowned. Usually senior officers took care of first
contact situations or at least someone who was over the age of thirty-five--
certainly not two of the youngest members of the acting crew list.
"He’s already talked to them and Tuvok has beamed down to the
government- something about technology, but," Beth amended, knowing what M’Rana’s
unspoken question would be. "We’re supposed to pick up a load of supplies
from one of the towns."
That sounded more like it, M’Rana thought to herself, already reaching for
her uniform jacket. "I’ll be there in three minutes."
True to her word, M’Rana skid into the door of transporter room one exactly
two minutes and fifty-nine seconds later. Beth glanced up quickly from the
console to toss a smile in her direction, then she returned her attention to the
transporter coordinates Jaysen Dalby was in the process of informing her of.
"If we transport down here," Jaysen told her softly as he stepped
closer to make room for Roget and M’Rana, "we’ll-"
"Have to walk an extra mile," Carrie, the officer on duty,
finished.
Beth raised her eyebrows at the young man who had been demanding her
attention several afternoons and a half-dozen dinner hours since they’d
returned from their last away mission.
His lips curved up into a secret smile at her, "Exactly. I’d like to
get some sightseeing in if we have to go down there."
Beth visibly hesitated to give her permission. She was in command of this
mission, they all knew, and it would be her call unless a superior officer chose
to intervene. Glancing over the surface of the terrain again, she finally
nodded. "Okay, you’ll get your one mile detour. But, if we’re going to
have several kilos worth of supplies, we’ll have to transport back."
"Deal," Jaysen firmly grasped her hand to seal the bargain.
Readjusting the Starfleet phaser holstered to her hip, Beth joined her
friends on the transporter padd and waited for a moment to calm the butterflies
in her stomach. "Energize."
As the tingling sensation of the transporter beam left her body and the cool
winds of Trenara IV swept around her, Beth instinctively placed a hand on her
phaser. Beside and behind her, the rest of her team was doing the same as they
found themselves confronted by four mammoth sized beasts that must have weighed
several hundred kilos apiece.
Beth quickly drew her weapon and aimed it at the animals, daring them to move
closer to her. Large brown eyes of the animal closest to her followed her every
movement and then a lazy jaw continued to chew its meal. Shaggy brown fur fell
over the forehead of the beast closest to Jaysen as it bent down to retrieve a
mouthful of the grass it had been grazing on. Then, it lifted its head and
noisily smacked on the plant.
With a nervous laugh, Beth holstered her phaser and motioned for the rest of
her team to follow suit. "You had to put us down in the middle of a field
of cows, didn’t you Jaysen?"
Jaysen grimaced as he lifted a foot with disgust, "At least you’re not
taking home a reminder," he commented wryly.
"Let’s get going," M’Rana had already hopped the crudely
constructed fence and was waiting impatiently for Beth, Jaysen, and Roget.
"What’s the plan?" she asked trying to choose a direction to walk.
Down seemed the best bet, she decided quickly. The village they were to meet
their contact in had been at the base of the mountain.
"There’s a small establishment in the center of the town we’re
supposed to pick up the food supplies from," Beth informed them as she took
Jaysen’s offered hand and scrambled over a fallen log blocking their path.
"The captain’s orders were pretty basic. Get in, get the food, get
out."
"Sounds simple enough," M’Rana grunted as she kicked a small
pebble.
Beth pushed a branch out of her way as she drew in a deep breath. Jaysen had
been right in choosing this detour, she decided. The surrounding mountains Tom
had declared perfect for practice flights were breathtaking; the air,
cool and crisp, had a slight smell of rain on it; and the grass they were still
wading through was wet from dew left over during the night.
"It’s gorgeous," Roget offered taking a moment to stop and admire
the beauty of their surroundings. "I wish Voyager could have this
fresh air instead of the recycled stuff."
"That recycled stuff was developed after years of experiments and
failures," M’Rana declared. "Humans used to have to carry a full air
supply with them for each mission. And Klingons diluted their air with large
quantities of nitrogen for the first few explorations. Imagine how cramped a
fourteen meter vessel carrying a dozen Klingons would be. I’ll take recycled
air any day."
Beth turned to cast a warning glance at M’Rana. She didn’t want to have
to listen to a lecture today anymore than Roget would want to receive it. M’Rana
shrugged and rolled her eyes with a grin causing Beth’s heart to lift. There
would be no lect-
"Oh!" Arms flailing, Beth felt her feet slide out from under her.
"Careful," Jaysen warned, his arms catching her. "We’re
almost to the bottom, but you should watch where you’re going."
Beth scowled at him, but the twinkle in her eyes assured Jaysen that she was
thankful he had been there.
Slowly, but surely, as they made their way down the mountain, the air grew
warmer and dryer as the twin suns climbed higher in the sky. Underfoot, the land
was flattening out and in the distance a town was coming into view.
"That was more than a mile, Jaysen," Beth poked him gently in the
ribs as the town grew larger before them.
"Maybe," he replied with a devilish grin. "But, you don’t
sound like you’re complaining."
"It was….nice."
"You thought it was better than ‘nice’," he whispered so only
she could hear. Catching her hand in his he added, "I saw the look on your
face. You can’t worm your way out of that one."
Beth opened her mouth to make a retort, but she couldn’t stop the smile
from spreading across her face at the sight of his twinkling eyes.
"Fine," she smarted back. "You win this round."
Jaysen accepted the ‘win’ graciously and ducked his head under a branch
in his way.
The quartet silently made their way into the town as they each took in the
sounds and sights of a small town which, for all appearances, had never seen a
paved street, much less a star ship brimming with life forms alien to their own
culture.
To Beth’s right, a group of rag-tag children on a sidewalk giggled and
pointed at her own group, but she calmly ignored them. In all of her years of
training with Tuvok, one of the facts he had stressed was that different
cultures may view her as odd and even threatening. Thankfully, those children
had chosen the former instead of the latter.
"There," Jaysen nodded in the direction of a two story wooden
building with scrawling woodwork on the outside. "That must be it."
"Looks suspiciously like a saloon to me," M’Rana muttered in Beth
direction.
Beth fully agreed with M’Rana; however, women and children were leaving and
entering the ‘saloon’ with carts of groceries. "Let’s check it
out."
As the four young people entered the questionable establishment, their fears
were instantly laid to rest. The interior was deserted now and dimly lit, but
decorated with grocery items instead of questionable drinks and smoke.
Beth stopped just inside the door to allow her eyes to adjust to the darker
setting. Taking the opportunity to glance around, she smiled faintly as she saw
two men struggling with a barrel of goods in the back room. That was probably
part of the bundle the captain had secured for Voyager, she guessed.
Moving in the direction of the long counter that served as an old-fashioned
check out, she gently tapped a device intended to catch the owner’s attention.
The wooden bell made a knocking sound that rang out through the shop and a
man promptly poked his head out of the back room.
"I’ll be with you in a minute," he called to them in a friendly
voice. Just as quickly as he appeared, his head disappeared into the back room
again.
"I’m going to look at some of these other things," Jaysen said,
motioning in the direction of the fresh vegetables and fishes.
"Just don’t go far," she warned, but quickly cut off her
conversation as the man emerged from the back.
"You must be from Voyager," he said. "It’s all back
here just waiting for your transport. Anything else I can help you with?"
"I don’t think so," Beth smiled at him and then turned to M’Rana
and Roget. "Go with him and get them to Voyager. I’ll get
Jaysen."
"Don’t wander far," the man warned her. "I have several
customers who prefer to do their shopping in solitude. They can become rather
feisty when bothered."
"Thanks," Beth said making a mental note to keep her distance.
M’Rana and Roget followed the proprietor and Beth began to scan the store
for a sign as to where Jaysen may have disappeared to. A sly smile slipped over
her visage as she spied his brown head peeking over a shelf at something in
front of him. Sneaking around the shelf with full intentions of scaring him, she
jumped slightly when he turned to her and motioned for her to join him, but stay
quiet.
Gesturing quickly, he indicated that there was a conversation on the other
side of the shelf he was interested in. All warnings flying from her mind, Beth
leaned closer to listen.
"Tomorrow, then," the voice of an older man said. "I’ll
transmit the exact location of their warp core and I’ll see if we can download
their shield frequency."
"Tomorrow will be too late," another voice spoke up. "She
needs them before sundown. Get them to my terminal by this evening or you only
get half of what was promised."
"That’s going to be hard," the first voice said hesitantly.
"Their computer is one of a more sophisticated design-"
"Which is why we want it," the second broke in. "I’ll expect
those shield frequencies. And as always, a pleasure doing business with
you."
Footsteps clicked on the floorboards indicating that the voices were moving
in their direction, but it was a split second too late for Beth and Jaysen.
"Eavesdroppers!" the second voice roared as he snatched Beth by the
collar.
"Get your hands off her!" Jaysen tried to swing at the man who now
held Beth securely, but was quickly caught by the owner of the first voice.
"Baraubs!" the man who held Beth shouted in the direction of the
back room "We’ve got us a couple of snitches out here. Any place you know
of we could…detain them?"
Beth gulped as Baraubs quickly stepped from the room and eyed them with
disdain. "I warned you," he snapped at them. To the men that held him,
"I have a few places for them…and their friends."
Meeting Jaysen’s eyes briefly, Beth drew her lips into a firm line and
narrowed her eyes as she communicated that she would attempt to free herself the
same time he tried to escape his captor. Hopefully, with both of them struggling
at the same time, they would have the element of surprise on their side.
Adrenaline rushed through her veins as her muscles tensed and then lashed out
with surprising strength for someone her size. The man who held her gasped in
pain as her arm flailed against his belly, but he quickly pinned her arms back
to her sides again.
"Don’t try anything with me," he hissed next to her ear. "I
don’t take kindly to strangers and I really don’t take kindly to alien girls
who get in my way."
Next to her, Jaysen’s attempt at breaking away had also been futile. Now,
he sported a red handprint on the side of his face. Beth’s heart sunk as a
scuffle from the back room was heard and a strangled cry escaped M’Rana’s
lips.
~ * =/\= * ~
"It’s been two hours," Tom reminded Chakotay. "They should
have checked in by now."
"I’m well aware of the time, Tom," the captain muttered from his
seat. "Harry, open a channel to Baraubs."
"Captain Chakotay of the Federation Starship Voyager!"
Barbaus grinned easily from the small shop he owned. "What can I do for
you?"
"I wanted to check on our team," Chakotay replied, standing to face
the other gentleman. "Our sensors indicate that they made it to your shop,
but have yet to check in with us."
"Perhaps they did some shopping," the other man replied, a twinkle
in his eye. "I do remember them, of course. I believe the one with a funny
brow and the Tarkarian transported your barrels of food supplies directly to
your ship. Then, the four left. I think the girl with the red uniform said
something about one of the stores, but I can’t remember which."
"Thanks, Barbaus," Chakotay said outwardly keeping the appearance
of being calm and in control of his boiling emotions.
"Let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you," he said
giving Chakotay a slight wave of his four fingered hand.
Chakotay nodded briefly as Harry cut the channel.
"Shopping?" Tom asked with disbelief. "Beth and M’Rana got
side tracked and went shopping?"
"If that were the case," Tuvok intervened from his place in the
first officer’s chair. "We would not have failed at our attempts to raise
them on the comm."
"The day Beth willingly goes into a store for something other than
supplies," Harry added thinking of his daughter with a slight aversion to
shopping, "Will be the day I give up my post."
~ * =/\= * ~
Beth’s mind woke almost immediately, but she had the good sense to not move
her body as she tried to place her location. Pretty certain that they were no
longer in the shop, she guessed them to be on a watercraft of some type by the
gentle rocking and swaying of the floor.
Her mind still groggy from the drugs she had been forced to inhale along with
the other three members of her crew, Beth stiffened when she felt a movement
beside her. Drawing in a sharp breath, she felt a wave or relief wash over her
as Jaysen’s cologne filled her nose.
"Beth?" he asked softly, trying to peer at her through the near
darkness that enveloped them.
"Yeah, it’s me," She murmured. Only then, as she tried to move
her hands in his direction to clasp his did she realize her wrists were bound
behind her back.
"Your hands tied?" he asked, guessing the obvious. "Can you
sit up?"
"I think so," she muttered. Dragging herself into a sitting
position, Beth backed up to where Jaysen was pulling himself into a sitting
position.
"Lean against me," he instructed softly grasping her hands in his
warm ones. Giving them a comforting squeeze, he concentrated his efforts on the
leather cord that bound her wrists.
"Where are M’Rana and Roget?" Beth asked in a hushed voice as she
winced as he tried to untie the cords.
"I’m here," a grunt several meters away alerted Beth to the
presence of her best friend.
"And Roget?" she asked, hoping to have her small team all in one
place.
"Still unconscious, but if I’m right, his elbow is in my back."
"Can you wake him?"
"I’m poking him, but he’s not moving."
Fear leapt in Beth’s throat, but Jaysen’s hands caught hers again in a
firm grasp.
"Don’t worry," he cautioned her. "Not yet anyway. I was
awake for nearly an hour before you stirred. They must have given us different
doses."
She nodded in response. Even though he couldn’t see her in the dark she
knew he would feel the motion as she moved her back. "How are the knots
coming?
"Nearly done," he lied and went back to tugging at the leather with
what little bit of nails he had.
"Any ideas where we are?" M’Rana’s voice echoed through the
dark sending a shiver up her own spine.
"My guess would be on some sort of boat," Jaysen answered,
listening carefully as M’Rana scooted closer to Beth and himself. "Stay
with Roget," he ordered. "As long as we can hear you and know you’re
with him we’ve got all members accounted for."
"Aye, aye." M’Rana tried to laugh in a futile effort to lighten
the mood.
Silence descended over the group like a heavy blanket as Jaysen concentrated
on freeing Beth’s wrists and Beth force her mind to devise a plan to free her
team while still giving Voyager time to escape.
They were in some sort of hold, she figured. Above their heads, occasional
thumps and thuds could be heard through the decks. Around them, the ship creaked
and groaned and even whimpered at times. Straining her ears, Beth tried to get a
better idea of what the whimpering could be, but she could see nothing past her
own nose—much less discern the sounds of a sailing ship she was unfamiliar
with.
"What do they want with us?" she murmured aloud. "We’re of
no value to them."
"Except that we might foil their plans," Jaysen reminded her of the
conversation overheard that had led to their capture. "Someone is planning
to attack Voyager and we know about it. They know we’d warn our ship
and that might destroy their attempts."
"And do you have an idea of how to escape?" Beth smarted back.
"Not yet," Jaysen grunted as he tugged on one particular cord.
"I think we should wait and assess our situation though. Don’t jump into
the middle of anything."
"My hands are tied behind my back," M’Rana reminded them
good-naturedly. "If you were directing that comment at me, you can rest
assured I’ll rethink my options before running into a fight."
In the distance heavy footsteps fell on the wooden planks. As the noise drew
closer, keys rattled outside their cell. Beth wrenched away from Jaysen’s
hands working on her own wrists and rolled to the left on the hard floor just
before the door swung open.
The large silhouette of a burly man filled the doorway as a lighting device
swung crazily from the rafters in what appeared to be a hall outside the room
the four crewmembers of Voyager were being held in. He seemed to take a
quick inventory of them before throwing a bale of a grass-like substance into
the room.
"Sleep on that!" he ordered them gruffly. "I’ll be back with
food later."
"Who are you?" Beth demanded, lifting her face from the ground
where she had rolled in her haste. "Why have you taken us?"
"I don’t answer to no kids." He snapped, hand on the door.
"And I don’t answer to no woman, neither."
Beth jumped as the door was slammed shut and then felt her heart sink as keys
jingled outside indicating they were being locked in again.
"What now?" a male voice spoke up causing M’Rana to jump.
"Good. You’re awake," Beth sighed in relief as she scooted in
Jaysen’s direction. "Have you been awake this whole time, Roget?"
"Just when I heard the door open," he answered. "M’Rana?
Will you give me a hand with these ropes?"
"Sure," M’Rana could be heard scrambling across the floor and
Beth couldn’t resist a smile. Of the two people most likely to not get along
on this mission, she would have tagged her best friend and the young man
infatuated with herself.
"Almost…." Jaysen muttered, still clawing at Beth’s own cords.
"I think…..no….not quite….wait…..there!"
Beth felt a wave of relief wash over her as the cords slipped over her hands
and to the floor. Rubbing her wrists gently where the leather had cut into them,
she winced. It hurt. Bad. No use crying over it, she figured. "Thanks,
Jaysen," she murmured softly, still rubbing her wrists.
"Help me?" he implored in a pitiful tone.
"Oh," she gasped, ashamed for not having already begun to work on
his bindings. Kneeling at his back, she flexed her arms a couple of times
reveling in the feeling of simply being able to move them again.
"What’s the plan?" Roget asked. "And, who’s crying?"
"I don’t think we’re alone on this deck," Jaysen supplied.
"When the door opened, I saw another across the hall just like this
one."
"We’re being transported, like cargo," M’Rana growled angrily.
"The question is," Beth broke in gently, hoping to soothe the
moment, "What are we going to?"
"I think you know the answer to that."
All four jumped as the door swung open to their cell again. As the guard
surveyed Roget and M’Rana who sat back to back, Beth dropped to a sitting
position and pushed her hands behind her back again. Thankfully, he hadn’t
seemed to notice that she had been facing Jaysen’s back only seconds ago and
the grass-like substance blocked him from being able to have a clear view of her
hands.
Jaysen’s hands clasped her own as the guard turned his fierce eyes on them.
"You want to know where you’re going?" he demanded.
"Yes," Beth bravely lifted her chin in his direction. "I would
like to know." Secretly, her fingers were working to free Jaysen’s hands.
The leather was coming loose, she felt with some satisfaction. If she could only
make it slack enough for him to slip over a hand.
"You’re on a transport ship," he growled, leaning against the
door frame. "I’ve got orders to keep an eye on you and all of the other
slaves that will be sold tonight at the market. But," his eyes glittered
evilly. "I can be persuaded to forget you ever existed. For a price."
"We can get you any amount of money you want," Beth offered
thinking of the replicators on board Voyager. "Just please, help us
out of here." Her voice didn’t waver at all. Which was a lucky thing
because only a second before Jaysen’s hands had slipped free of the leather
cords.
"Child! No one can give get the amount of money required to free you
four!" he shouted
"No! Really we can," Beth pleaded. "Our ship-"
"Foolish woman!" he growled. "You’ll bring quite a hefty
price at the market," he eyed her hungrily. "However, I may be tempted
to buy part of you for myself."
Beth’s stomach turned over at the thought of eating a person, but she
quickly banished the idea as far from her mind as possible. Touching Jaysen’s
hands briefly, she suddenly jumped up and flew at their captor with both fists
pounding at his gut.
Jaysen was only a few steps behind her as she kicked his shins hard. The man
grunted at the blows and shouted several words that could only be understood as
the colorful language of these people as footsteps thundered down the stairs.
Beth felt a sharp pain shoot up her arm as she was ripped away from the other
man and thrown to the floor. Jaysen, rage boiling in him at seeing Beth treated
in that manner lunged at the second man but was also pushed to the floor.
A heavy booted heel came down on Beth’s toes. "Don’t you ever
try that again," the guard warned her. Then, with a swift kick at her
shins, he turned on his heel and slammed the door shut behind him and his
friend.
Beth drew in a deep breath as if she was preparing to charge the door, but
sank to the floor in defeat as her wounded knees and toes screamed at her.
Comforted by the feel of Jaysen’s arms stealing around her small frame, Beth
leaned against him and drew in a shaky breath as they prepared to face whatever
demons lay before them.
~ * =/\= * ~
The pencil lead connected with the paper and left a bold swipe across the
old-fashioned medium. Another line joined the first at a 90 degree angle,
followed quickly by another. And, another.
Chakotay gripped the writing utensil in his hand as he sketched another box
over the first. That done, he did it again. And, again. The paper, more than
three-quarters full of boxes already, appeared to be the only thing in Chakotay’s
universe at the moment. Brows lowered as if he was angry at the pencil or paper
or possibly both. In actuality, that assumption was furthest from the truth.
Chakotay’s mind was several hundred kilometers away from that paper as his
thoughts shifted between what could have prevented Beth and her crew from
checking in with Voyager and Seven and B’Elanna’s efforts to find
them.
Given that his talents were obviously not in engineering, Chakotay had found
himself quickly exiled from deck 11 as B’Elanna and Harry discussed various
ideas for pinpointing the location of the four teens among the vast populations
of the planet. In Astrometrics, Seven had tolerated his presence for
approximately ten minutes before resorting back to her manners of old when she
bluntly asked him to leave the room.
Slightly stunned, but accepting the fact that she was trying to find her
missing daughter, Chakotay had retreated to his ready room where he contacted
Barbaus once again. The small-town clerk had even less to say this time and
Chakotay had been more than a little surprised when the transmission had been
cut short with a curt good-bye.
Suspicion was laced through his mind as he mulled over the short
conversation. Another line was sketched heavily on the paper. What had caused
Barbaus to refuse any aid? They had, after all, paid their debt in advance—and
even tipped him generously. As his eyes lost focus for a moment, Chakotay was
reminded of just how long it had been since he had awoken that morning.
Snap!
Chakotay’s shoulders tensed briefly as he pressed too hard against the
pencil and broke it in two. If curved, smooth lines represented a serene temper,
he knew the boxes drawn boldly across the paper reflected the inner turmoil he
felt over the disappearance of his daughter and her crew mates.
Only fourteen hours ago, father had faced daughter in this very room and she
had calmly informed him that she wished him to be no part of her life. Perhaps,
he thought torn between bitterness and distress, she would get her way.
Suppressing a yawn, the over-tired captain struggled to his feet. His crew
was the best, but even they needed a break to sleep. A captain was no different,
he knew, but after his wife’s death he had finally understood her desire to
remain close to the bridge during a time of trouble. He was no use to them in
his current condition, Chakotay realized. Stuffing the paper into a drawer, he
made his way for the bridge to inform the crew that he was turning in for a few
hours.
Chakotay stumbled through the doors of his quarters and sank into the captain’s
sofa. Kathryn’s sofa. Now, it was still the captain’s sofa, but it was also his.
He hated the rank that had gone with Kathryn’s death, but had come to accept
that it was his. Tossing a pillow to the floor, he again thanked Starfleet for
the durable furnishing that had lasted so long. The pillows had been there
before Kathryn had, as had most of the items littering the crews’ quarters.
Drawing in a deep breath, Chakotay allowed tears to swim before his eyes for
the first time since Beth had disappeared. He knew everyone was doing their best
to find the small band that consisted of the away team, but the stress of
negotiations- even though they had gone well- combined with losing contact with
his away team and being over-tired was tolling on him
Dragging himself off the sofa, Chakotay went to his room and knelt beside the
lowest dresser drawer. Tugging it open, he felt among the socks and nightgowns
of Kathryn’s he hadn’t been able to part with. His fingers brushed against a
soft bundle of skin. Pulling the leather pouch from its hiding place, Chakotay
settled himself in the middle of the bed before opening the tiny collection.
Years ago, back on New Earth, he had come to the conclusion that he and
Kathryn would marry and a baby would probably follow. Tuvok’s rescue had put a
halt to those dreams, but not before Chakotay had started a medicine bundle for
the child he had hoped to father.
When Kathryn had told him of the coming baby, Chakotay had remembered the
soft leather pouch with a star emblazoned on it tucked away in his sock drawer.
On the day of Beth’s birth, he had added the first item to the bundle.
Now, he swallowed hard as he lifted it to the light. The only item ever to
make it to the medicine bundle, he thought angrily. He should have kept up with
it. He should have at least shown it to Beth as she grew older. He had had the
opportunity that night after the pool tournament, but he hadn’t taken
advantage of it.
Dragging in a deep breath and stretching out on his back, Chakotay didn’t
bother to brush away the tears of regret as they pushed their way from his eyes.
He sometimes thought he could still feel Kathryn in this room. More than likely,
it stemmed from that he had refused to throw any of her things away. A few items
had been packed away in the closet or cleared away over the years, but Chakotay
had left their quarters decorated just as she had them.
Sometimes, it wasn’t hard to imagine that she might come back. He knew that
wasn’t good for himself, but in those first few years, it had helped to ease
the pain.
"What are you doing?"
Chakotay’s eyes slid open and then squinted at the figure framed in his
doorway. "Go away, Torres." He ordered, even though she had changed
her name to Paris almost four years ago.
"I won’t," she retorted, stepping fully inside the living area of
the captain’s quarters. "It’s been a year, Chakotay. You need to get
out of here once in awhile."
Chakotay didn’t answer, but swirled the contents of his mug. B’Elanna’s
forehead relax in relief as she peeked into his cup.
"Coffee? I didn’t think you were one to drink coffee."
"Let’s just say I’ve needed something to keep me awake on the
bridge," he muttered.
"And this room?" B’Elanna asked pointedly. "Is there a
reason you’ve left it decorated like this?"
"I’m a captain, not an interior designer. I wouldn’t know where to
begin," he feigned interest.
"I’d be glad-"
"No." Chakotay’s hand nearly squeezed the mug in two. "The
room stays as it is."
"And your ready room?" B’Elanna retorted. "Are you going to
leave that as Janeway left it also? Chakotay, how many male captains do you know
of that have a tea service set up in their ready room?"
Refusing to answer, he took a long and deliberate sip of the dark, bitter
liquid. By the time he had removed the cup from his lips, a disgusted B’Elanna
had turned and marched out of the door in huff. He had won.
Choking back a sob, Chakotay opened his hand and glanced down at the comm
badge still held there. "Would you be angry with me, Kay?" he asked
softly.
~ * =/\= * ~
Cajule hadn’t expected to attend the slave auction. In fact, on most days,
she avoided it all together. But, as she wandered about the market place of this
large city, she found herself standing on the edge of the crowd.
Funny, she thought to herself, for eight years, she had been a slave to the
Awaxiels, but she didn’t do something more to free these people who were being
sold into slavery now. Well, she tried to justify her actions, they weren’t
actually being sold into slavery. Most of the time, they were being sold into
dinner. As in, the main entrée.
Cajule and her husband, Rujan, had both been raised in the hills and found
the custom of eating ones enemies revolting. But, apparently not all of their
culture was in agreement with her, she thought to herself as a young woman was
pushed forward on the platform.
Cajule felt her heart stop in her abdomen for a moment as she peered at the
woman a good one hundred meters away. She could barely make out her features,
but she felt sure enough about her suspicions to reach into her robes and touch
the bag of shekals in her care. It was a good portion of her life savings and
she had a feeling part of it was about to be spent.
Pushing forward, Cajule decided she was going to get a better view of this
woman before she placed any money on her. The money was supposed to be used to
buy land; that was the reason Cajule was near the auction to begin with. It had
taken years to save and she certainly didn’t want to waste it.
At that moment, the auctioneer held up the girl’s arm and called out
something about what a good meal just her arm would make. Apparently, the girl
understood what he was saying because her face grew pale and a thin sheet of
sweat covered her features as she cast a fearful look in the direction of those
who appeared to be her comrades.
Cajule felt her heart sink. Four of them. She only had eight hundred shekals
with her. Plenty enough for the first payment of the property she had been
intending to buy, but would it be enough for what others viewed as a years’
worth of meals?
"Do I hear twelve shekals for this girl’s arm?" the auctioneer
asked. "We’ll be glad to cut it off for you here!"
Cajule watched as the young woman on the stand tried to struggle and pull
away, but another guard stepped forward to contain her. On the platform behind
the girl, her three friends alternated between ranting and shaking for fear of
their own limbs and lives.
"Eight hundred shekals!" Cajule heard herself shout. Silence
descended over the mob that had gathered. "Eight hundred shekals," she
repeated, a sheen of sweat breaking over her forehead. "For all four of
them."
"Sold!" the auctioneer crowed.
Cajule quickly made her way to the platform and withdrew her money bag.
Throwing the treasure on the make-shift stage, she reached up to offer the girl
a hand down. "Come with me," she ordered. Then moving her eyes to the
rest of the group she added, "All of you." For a moment, the girl
looked as if she would refuse. Then, drawing in a deep breath and pushing back
her auburn hair, she stepped down. Cautiously, the others followed her.
Obviously, she was their leader, Cajule decided. And, rightly so.
"Don’t try to run away from me," Cajule softly warned the quartet
of friends as she led them to the small cart she had brought into town. For
once, she was thankful that the slaves were always auctioned off tied to one
another. It made it harder to escape, she knew, and if one of these four tried
to escape they may never see their ship again.
"We’ll not comply."
Cajule glanced sharply over her shoulder. "You will." She stated.
"If you ever want to get home again, you will do exactly as I tell you. And
for now, that involves acting the part of the good little slave."
"You can’t get us home," the auburn haired girl smarted back.
"I’ve never even seen home."
"You’re trying to get back," Cajule answered. "And, I will
get you back to your ship."
"Why did you buy us if you don’t intend to use us?" the boy
closest to the girl with blue eyes asked.
"Let’s say I owed her mother a favor," Cajule replied
mysteriously.
"My mother?" Beth frowned suspiciously at the woman as she clamored
aboard the wagon.
"Your mother," Cajule began as she pulled the wagon carrying the
four slaves she had just purchased in the back, "Was Kathryn Janeway.
True?"
"Yes," Beth answered slowly. "But, you couldn’t have known
her. She died a long time ago."
Cajule glanced at Beth sharply. "I’m sorry to hear that. She was a
dear friend of mine and even helped me escape my own slave sentence."
"Impossible," M’Rana grunted as the wagon jostled her against
Beth and Jaysen.
"She’s right," Roget piped up. "If you had known Beth’s
mother, you would have had to be several thousand light years away from this
planet. And, since we’ve been traveling toward it, you couldn’t have passed
us."
"But, I did," Cajule smiled at Roget as she took her eyes from the
road. "A wormhole connects this system with the Dankaro system."
"Dankaro?" Beth demanded to know, eyes narrowing skeptically.
"Twin stars approximately fifteen thousand light years from our
position."
"Too bad we didn’t know about that fifteen years ago," M’Rana
muttered leaning against the side of the wagon. "If they even exist."
"And you say you met my mother and then traveled through this wormhole
to here?"
Cajule glanced sharply over her shoulder at the blue-gray eyes sparkling with
anger. "Yes."
~ * =/\= * ~
"Microfractures are beginning to form on the hull!" Chakotay
shouted from where he was stationed at the helm of the small shuttle. The tiny
meteorites that pounded the glass and created a deafening thunder on the hull
raised adrenaline to feed his fear for their lives.
"I’m on it!" Kathryn replied forcefully as she braced herself for
another early contraction before ripping the panel off the wall. The tiny,
class-2 shuttle was not made for ease of working on the systems, he remembered-
much less for a woman eight and a half months pregnant.
"Can you get to it?" he teased her, trying to remain optimistic
despite their surroundings.
"You’re treading on thin ice, Commander!" Kathryn retorted with a
grin.
"Don’t I always?" At the time, he hadn’t realized the severity
of the situation. To him, the biggest concern was that the shuttle’s hull
would buckle. But, she had known. She knew that their baby daughter may not make
it through this alive if life support was compromised much more. Or, if she was
forced to give birth right there. The contractions had started just a few
minutes after Kathryn realized that Voyager was too far away to rescue them from
the small meteor shower they had encountered. Now, as the small chips of rock
further badgered the shuttle, her contractions had increased although she did
her best to hide it from him. The Doctor had warned them of this, he remembered
as she struggled to reach for a microphaser on the floor. But, Kathryn had been
stubborn, as usual, and insisted that they both go on this mission.
"I can’t stabilize them," she muttered not bothering to answer
his question as she braced herself against the wall to stop sliding as the
shuttle’s floor pitched.
"Get out of the way," Chakotay grasped Kathryn by the hips and
hauled her out of the small space that was designated as Engineering.
"Chakotay-"
"You can hardly reach the panels," he called over his shoulder.
"Go watch the comm signals. See if Voyager has a lock on us yet."
"They haven’t," she replied through clenched teeth, her body
doubled over in pain.
"Go lie down-" Chakotay’s order was cut short as the panel in
front of him spit sparks and erupted into a ball of smoke and flames. Rolling to
safety, Kathryn was instantly beside him, her own pain forgotten.
"Chakotay? Chakotay!?"
"I’m okay," he coughed as he tried to get a breath that wasn’t
mainly consisting of ozone and smoke. "I’m not leaving you." The
shuttle rolled again as the exterior was pounded by ice and rock. It sounded
louder this time, he thought to himself as Kathryn fell against his chest.
Wrapping his arms around her to prevent further injuries, they both slammed
against the side of the shuttle
"Computer! Disengage gravity!"
"Chakotay!"
"I don’t want us beaten do death by our own walls," he argued as
the floor rotated to become their ceiling.
"Voy…ger to shutt… We have…’wer to trans….rt…one person. Too
much….ference for…at one time."
"Tuvok!" Kathryn tried to paddle her way toward the front of the
shuttle, but ended up rolling in a fetal position as another contraction hit.
"On….ansporter pad." Tuvok’s voice filtered through.
"Too much interference from the storms," Chakotay deduced as he
grabbed Kathryn’s arm and gently pushed her towards the pad. "Come on,
you’re first."
"No," she gasped, tears stinging her eyes. "You’re
hurt."
"And you’re in labor!" he exclaimed. More calmly, he pulled her
to himself in a tight hug. "I’ll be fine, Kay. Just get over there and
take care of our daughter."
"I love you, Chakotay." She whispered.
"I love you, too." Quickly, Chakotay pressed his mouth over hers
and then released her to the energy beams that would take her back to Voyager.
At the last moment, Kathryn opened her eyes, pleading with him to be careful, as
she stretched a hand to him. Unbidden, Chakotay’s own hand rose to touch her
fingertips, but before contact was made, she dissolved in the transporter beam.
Just then, the shuttle rocked again sending Chakotay pitching in the opposite
direction of the transporter pad.
"Computer, reinitiate gravity," he ordered preparing himself for
the drop to the floor. Stumbling to his feet, Chakotay glanced in the direction
of the comm panel. "Do you have her yet?" he demanded after punching
in a sequence of buttons to open the hailing channels.
"Not -et," Harry’s garbled voice came through. "The….ferance
is……breaking up…pattern."
Watching Voyager through the front window of the shuttle, Chakotay braced
himself as more asteroids pounded the hull and gases poured around him.
"We’ve…her." Relief washed over Chakotay as the message was
relayed after what seemed an eternity. "Comm’der. Please st…by."
Moving into the transporter pad, Chakotay knew it would only be a matter of
seconds before he too would be engulfed in the beam that would take him home.
Sure enough, the shuttlecraft dissolved around him to be replaced by Voyager’s
transporter room.
"Kathryn?" he asked quickly of the ensign stationed there.
"We transported her directly to sickbay."
Stumbling through the doors, Chakotay hurried as quickly as he could, not
even thinking that a site to site transport would have been faster.
"Kathryn, hold on. I’m coming, Kay, just stay with me."
Repeating her name over and over as he ran down the corridors, he wondered if
he would ever make it. The stench of the ozone and smoke from the shuttle still
clung to his uniform and flooded his nostrils. Eyes watering, Chakotay continued
to run down the unending corridors. Turning sharply to dodge down another hall,
he could have sworn he saw a figure with long brown hair just leaving the
corridor.
"Kathryn!"
From somewhere distant, the laughter of his captain floated to Chakotay’s
ears.
"Kathryn!" he shouted again, frantically. "Please, stop. Where
are you?" Finally, he reached the tunnel the vision had turned down.
Looking into it, he couldn’t see anything through the dark. Glancing first in
the direction he had come and then again in the direction he had been running,
he started to duck into the other corridor, but quickly stumbled back out.
At the end of the corridor, she turned to him. Long brown hair blew around
her face as her slim figured faced him. With a joyous laugh, she slipped away
and moved in the opposite direction.
"Kay!" he shouted, charging after her. "Kathryn, please
wait!" But, she didn’t. She continued to jog away from him. Each time he
rounded a corner it was just in time to see her duck into another corridor.
Feeling as if his lungs would burst, Chakotay stopped only for a second to
slump against a wall. Then, he ran. He could hear her laughter. Smell her
perfume and the scent of her shampoo. She had just been there, he knew. But, he
couldn’t catch her.
As he rounded another bend, Chakotay saw her at a dead end. She stood still,
blue eyes wide and smiling as she enticed him to come closer.
"Kathryn!" he shouted, feet pounding on the deck as he ran towards
her. Arms outstretched, he knew that in just a moment he would be able to crush
her in his embrace as he begged her to never leave him again. He was only ten
meters from her now, in a few steps she would be in his arms again as she should
be. Five. He would never leave her side again, he decided. Not for meals, not
for bridge duty, not for anything. Three. Closing the distance, he barely
registered the fact that she appeared to vanish just before his arms had closed
around her.
"Kathryn!" With a start, Chakotay sat up in bed gasping for breath.
His heart was hammering as if he’d just run a marathon and he could swear that
the smell of ozone and smoke had penetrated his quarters. Reaching a shaking
hand over to the pillow beside him, he half-expected to feel the long tresses of
his wife’s hair in his hands.
But, he didn’t.
He still clutched the silver and gold insignia in the palm of his hand,
Chakotay saw as he slowly released it. The scratches from that day were still
evident on the smooth, polished surface. The tip of the triangle was bent at an
awkward angle as if it had been melted from the intense heat on the shuttle.
Slumping against the headboard, he felt the tears stinging his eyes again.
The pain in his heart was as sharp as the day of the shuttle accident- the day
of Beth’s birth.
"Chakotay? Are you there?"
That was what had woken him, Chakotay realized with a start. Reaching over to
tap his own comm badge, he answered B’Elanna’s hail.
"A small ship is decloaking-"
"I’ll be right there," he interrupted.
Dropping Kathryn’s communicator back onto the soft leather, Chakotay bound
the sides together and tucked the one treasure he had for Beth back into the
sock drawer. He would give it to her when she returned.
"Sir, we’re being hailed."
As Chakotay stepped out of the turbolift, he glanced over at the young ensign
who had taken Harry’s place at OPs. Albert? Andrew? Anthony?
"Put it onscreen, Austin." Tom ordered from his place in the
captain’s chair.
"Voyager?"
"I’m Lieutenant Tom Paris of the USS Voyager," he
introduced himself.
"Your captain?"
"I’m Captain Chakotay," Chakotay said stepping into the command
ring. Inconspicuously, Tom made his way to the helm.
"Captain," she said softly as her gray eyes wandered across his
features. "I am Cajule."
Chakotay wanted to cut off the signal, he had more important things to be
doing—like searching for his daughter, but he refrained himself from being
rude. "Can I help you with something?"
"No, but I believe I have something of yours," Cajule turned away
from the small screen and beckoned for someone to come forward.
Chakotay was visibly jolted as Beth appeared on the screen. She appeared to
be healthy he observed quickly, "What do you want for them?"
Cajule’s eyebrows rose nearly to her hairline. "I don’t want to sell
them!" she exclaimed, horrified. "I’m trying to return them to you,
but your shields are raised."
"Lower our shields," Chakotay ordered without glancing back at the
officers.
Mere seconds later, Beth and her crew appeared in the middle of the bridge.
Their uniforms were dirty and torn and their faces had several scratches from
the wooden floor they had lain on, but the injuries were nothing a hot bath,
fresh uniform and quick trip to the doctor wouldn’t fix. Neither Tom nor Harry
could refrain from running forward to hug the grimy crew.
Chakotay returned his attention to the viewscreen and the woman on the other
ship. "Thank you for returning them, Cajule," he said quietly.
"Is there some way we can repay you for your trouble?"
"She’s Kathryn’s daughter," Cajule answered soflty. "It’s
the least I can do."
Chakotay’s eyes narrowed as he took a step back, "I beg your
pardon?"
"Kathryn helped me." Cajule replied. "And, I wish to extend my
deepest condolences at the news of her death."
"Thank you," Chakotay replied as civilized as possible.
"Screen off, Albyn,"
Austin refrained from rolling his eyes, but did flip the view screen off.
"We must leave," Beth spoke up from where she clutched M’Rana’s
arm and was wrapped in Harry’s embrace, reminding Chakotay that a ragged
collection of his crewmembers were still standing in the middle of his bridge.
"We overheard two men plotting to break into Voyager’s
computers and learn the frequency of our shields," Jaysen added. "They
want to attack Voyager tonight."
Chakotay silently regarded the group consisting of Voyager’s
youngest officers. "Tom, do we have all of the food, supplies, and data we
intended to collect and have all of our people returned to the ship?"
"Yes sir- on all accounts."
"Then, lay in a course for the Alpha Quadrant. Warp six."
~ * =/\= * ~
"Welcome to sickbay!" A bubbly Dr. Neelix greeted the tired away
team as they straggled through the doors. "Lay down on the biobeds and we’ll
be done in no time at all."
Beth chose the biobed closest to the surgical station and did as ordered.
Finally able to relax without the fear of waking up to a slave auction, Beth
felt herself begin to drift off with only the soft bleeps of the biobed
surrounding her. No longer was she in sickbay and no longer was her crew around
her. She was safe to dream.
All too quickly, Dr. Neelix was poking and prodding her. "Are you awake,
Ensign?" he asked loudly.
Flinching, Beth squinted up at him. "Yes, I suppose I am." Dragging
herself into a sitting position she took a quick inventory of the empty biobeds.
"My crew?"
"Checked out fine," Neelix answered. "I sent them back to
their quarters."
"And the doctor?"
"Singing practice. With your mother. Such lovely voices they have,"
Neelix snapped the tricorder shut and moved to take in the readings the biobed
was spilling out.
"My mother sings?"
"You didn’t know that?" Neelix looked up with surprise. "She
and the doctor used to sing duets together quite frequently. I myself attempted
to have her give me a lesson or two, but she didn’t have the extra time. So, I’ve
continued my rehearsals in the shower."
"I didn’t know she sang," Beth admitted with some reluctance.
Neelix frowned, baffled as to why Seven would have hidden her talent for
seventeen years. "The captain also sings."
Neelix’s ears pricked up at the sound of sickbay’s doors hissing open. He
had only been on duty as Voyager’s doctor-in-training for three weeks and
already he had treated more injuries than he thought possible. Standing to
welcome this newcomer, the rotund Talaxian stopped just inside the door of the
doctor’s office.
Captain Chakotay was leaning over the small cradle that Elizabeth was
sleeping peacefully in. Seven, as she did everyday, had left Elizabeth to Neelix’s
care only an hour ago. And now, Neelix was pleasantly surprised, the baby’s
father was lifting her out of the plastic baby bed and cuddling her close to his
chest.
"So," Neelix heard Chakotay whisper. "You’re the little
bundle that cost my Kathryn her life." Neelix bristled and was about to
step in when he heard the captain take a shaky breath. "I can’t keep you,
Beth. It’d be too hard. I hope that one day you’ll understand."
The baby began to squirm in Chakotay’s arms and upon opening her dark blue
eyes and finding a stranger holding her, she opened her mouth to let the whole
world know she was disturbed.
"Shhh," Chakotay crooned. Leaning forward, Neelix tried to hear the
words of the song Chakotay was now singing softly to the babe, but he couldn’t
make out any more than individual syllables in a foreign tongue. Whatever it
was, Elizabeth’s tears subsided to mere whimpers within seconds as she watched
her father.
The captain continued to sing the song as the baby drifted back to sleep.
Gently, he laid her back in her bed and carefully covered her with the thin,
pink blanket. Still close to her, he finished the last verse and then dropped a
kiss on the top of the sleeping baby’s dark head.
When he straightened up, Chakotay caught a glimpse of Neelix nearly twisting
an ankle in an effort to hide.
"I hope that you’ll keep what you just witnessed confidential,"
Chakotay said as he walked towards the doctor’s office.
"Of course, sir," Neelix answered in a rush. "Whenever you
want to visit her, feel free to stop by."
"Just this once," Chakotay turned to the leave sickbay, but stopped
when Neelix called him.
"Ah…if I—uh, I may ask," Neelix stuttered, "W-What did you
say to her that quieted her so quickly?"
"An old Indian lullaby," Chakotay replied. "I had taught it to
Kathryn and she sang it to Beth while she was pregnant."
Beth stared at Neelix incredulously. "The captain came to see me as a
baby?"
Neelix nodded. "Yes, he sure did. Now, young lady, you need to return to
your quarters and get cleaned up!"
~ * =/\= * ~
Beth groaned and re-keyed the word into the report she’d been working on
for two grueling hours.
"I ran into M’Rana on the way back," Seven’s voice floated
through the living quarters as she returned from giving B’Elanna her weekly
advice for improving the warp core’s efficiency. After all the years the two
best engineers on Voyager had spent gaining wisdom from the other,
raising their children side by side, and fighting off whatever alien wanted
their ship this week, the stubborn issue of who knew what was best for Voyager’s
efficiency often reared its ugly head. They were just better at hiding it after
years of practice. "She mentioned something about a holodeck get together
she’s organizing tonight. Why don’t you go."
"Maybe," Beth snapped.
"What’s wrong?"
"Nothing," Beth replied shortly, agitated with herself and
everything around her.
"It doesn’t sound like ‘nothing’," Seven commented, entering
the small bedroom that had once been used as a kitchen. After gutting the
electrical and plumbing from the room and doing some serious remodeling to the
walls and cabinets, Harry had created a room that had been Beth’s for her
whole life.
"I’m almost done," Beth amended, hoping to satisfy her mother as
she wiped a grimy hand across her brow.
"Why haven’t you showered?" Seven’s hand stroked Beth’s dusty
hair and came to rest on her shoulder. "Or changed?"
"I want to get this done first."
"Sounds like you need to get cleaned up first," the maternal side
of Seven spoke up. "Get a shower. You’ll feel better and be in a better
state of mind to finish this. Then, you’ll be free tonight. And, I happen to
know that your dad wants you to spend some time with your friends."
Her mom was right, Beth knew. She shouldn’t have sat down to write this
report without getting cleaned up and resting, but she had wanted to get it done
right away. Yet, her body refused to move. She didn’t even glance up to meet
her mom’s blue eyes that were resting on her.
"You’re still mad," Seven surmised from Beth’s tense stature.
"I’m not going to soften this like your dad does. We love you, Beth. And
if I had to raise you again, I would not tell you that the captain is your
father."
"Why not?" The soft whisper was so filled with pain and anger that
Seven visibly flinched.
"He was upset about your mother’s death," Seven reminded her.
"For us to add the burden of a daughter to commanding a crew he didn’t
want to captain would be unforgivable."
"You claim you love me, yet you lied to me," Beth softly said as
she collected a fresh uniform from her closet. "That is unforgivable."
Seven dropped onto the bed as Beth left the room. Her daughter had a right to
be angry, she knew, but Captain Janeway had always been a wise woman who was
able to see both sides of a story. Usually. Seven instinctively thought that
since Beth looked so much like her mother and even acted like her much of the
time, she would automatically react the same as Kathryn Janeway would in this
situation. She had been horribly wrong.
Instead of Captain Janeway’s cool manners and lengthy inquisitions, Seven
found herself and Harry faced with a teenager whose emotions ran between sullen
bitterness to angry rage.
~ * =/\= * ~
"Enter," Tuvok didn’t glanced up as Ensign Kim stepped into the
room. Forcing his eyes to remain on the console in front of him with next week’s
crew schedule displayed, he subtly watched Beth.
Her face didn’t give away her emotions, he observed with satisfaction.
Neither did her body language imply excitement, impatience, or fear. Secretly,
he was proud that one of his students had become a fine example of the officer
he wished to instill in all of the younger cadets; however, he would never have
told her that.
Finally, he turned from the console and folded his hands on the desk.
"Ensign?"
"My report," Beth explained holding out the data padd for him to
accept.
"The captain wishes for you to give it to him personally," Tuvok
informed her. "Dismissed."
Beth wanted to open her mouth and argue that he could deliver it with the
next set and the captain would still receive it on time, but Tuvok had
already returned his attention to the computer console before him.
"Was there something else?"
"I…, no sir." With a grimace on her face, Beth backed out of the
first officer’s office. For a moment, she considered trying to coerce Roget or
M’Rana into taking the report for her, but she knew that wouldn’t be right.
As Beth stepped into the turbolift, she forced herself to not sigh in disgust or
make a face as she called for the bridge.
Chakotay looked up immediately as Beth entered the ready room; emotions she
couldn’t identify flickered over his face before he quickly schooled his
features. "Yes?"
"My report," Beth replied lying it on the desk before him.
"You wished for me to deliver it personally."
"Oh, yes." Chakotay lifted it and skimmed the first paragraph
before dropping it back onto his desk. "Sit." Slowly, Beth took one of
the chairs across from his, the massive desk between them. "Tell me what
happened," Chakotay requested in a kinder voice.
"It’s in the report," Beth answered. "I spent a lot of time
making sure I had it exactly right."
"I can read the report or any of the other crew members’ reports, but
I want to know what it was like for you."
Beth’s faced contorted in confusion. "We reported to the grocery
store, were captured, and taken by boat to be sold at an auction. Cajule bought
us and then returned us to Voyager. What more do you want?"
Chakotay thought better of reprimanding her for the words she chose to
address him with. She was not speaking to him as she would a captain, he
realized. But, instead as she would to a parent she was very angry with.
"Were you scared?"
"I was the senior officer; I didn’t show fear."
"The question wasn’t about whether or not you showed that you were
frightened," Chakotay reiterated. "It was: were you afraid?"
"Does being scared make me less of an officer?" Beth inquired
shortly.
Alarm at Beth’s tone slammed through Chakotay’s body. "Not at
all," he replied splaying both hands flat on the desk. "In fact, in
many cases it can make you a better officer. If you hadn’t been terrified at
the prospect of being kidnapped, I would be worried about you and would then
question your capability to lead a successful away team."
"Oh."
"Doctor to Chakotay. I’ve found something you may want to see."
Chakotay frowned at the interruption, but reluctantly tapped his comm badge.
"Can it wait?"
"I suppose so," the doctor muttered. "It’s waited this
long."
Closing the connection, Chakotay focused on the daughter still in front of
him.
"What did you learn about this Cajule?" he asked, satisfied that
she had been frightened and knew that he considered it a worthy trait in an
officer. "What’s this about her knowing your mother?"
Beth shrugged. "She took us to her ship with her husband. We were given
some food while she worked on encrypting a subspace channel to Voyager
without arising the suspicion of her people and then we were brought back here.
The little bit she did tell me leads me to believe that my mother must have
rescued her from some sort of prison camp a long time ago."
"I already looked up her name, but she’s not in our records,"
Chakotay muttered under his breath. "I’d probably have to spend hours
digging through old logs to find any mention of a prison camp. If this
meeting even existed."
Beth said nothing, but watched her father carefully.
"Dismissed," Chakotay finally said when he realized his daughter
was waiting for him to say something.
Grateful, Beth jumped up and nearly ran for the turbolift.
~ * =/\= * ~
"About time you got here," M’Rana leaned casually on the cue
propped upright and watched as Beth entered the old Sandrines holodeck program.
"Jaysen’s been gloating all evening."
"Well, I can’t help that," Beth defended innocently as Jaysen
wound his way through the tables in her direction.
"And I’d prefer you didn’t try," he added, dropping an arm
around her waist. "Want something to drink? M’Rana’s been bragging
about getting the bar up and running."
"Alcohol?" Beth frowned in M’Rana’s direction.
"Nothing worse than water," M’Rana informed her. "My dad had
all sorts of securities surrounding the bar’s subroutines. I guess he didn’t
want to chance us getting into the real stuff." She laughed. "She’ll
serve you water or fruit juice right now. If I’d had a few more hours, I may
have been able to get some synthehol."
"Better without it," Beth told her, reaching for the glass of ice
water Sandrine had set before her. "The stuff tastes awful."
"How about some games?"
Beth followed the sound of the voice across the room and did her best not to
groan out loud. Julie Dalby, Jaysen’s sister, was standing in the center of a
growing group of the young cadets and most of them were nodding in agreement.
Jaysen caught her hand and started to lead her in the direction of the group,
but Beth held back for a moment.
"You need to seem like just another one of us," Jaysen whispered.
"Even if you’re the brightest student, daughter of the captain, and next
in line as a senior bridge officer, you’ll need these cadets when it comes
down to it."
"I know…" Beth relinquished her drink and surveyed the group.
There were less than a dozen youngsters, but knowing that many of them were
jealous of her and M’Rana because of the status of their parents wasn’t much
comfort. Combined with the fact that Beth had excelled in every subject taught
at the small academy, many of her classmates had viewed her as competition.
"How about….truth or dare?" Julie asked, already sitting at one
of the tables that had been pushed together.
Beth was tempted to roll her eyes. Truth or dare had been around for eons and
she found the entire game quite silly. What was the point of trying to coerce
someone into telling their deepest secrets if they didn’t wish to? And the
dares? From what she had heard, most of the dares ranged from the silly to the
embarrassing. But, what could she do? The others were readily agreeing and
pulling up chairs to the half dozen or so tables clustered in the dark interior
of the old Earth bar.
"I’ll go first," Julie volunteered, her gaze wandering slowly
around the group as she chose her victim.
Beth held her breath. She didn’t want to be chosen and she didn’t want to
play. She wanted to be anywhere but here and she couldn’t get out of it
without looking like a spoilsport. Casually, Julie’s eyes fell on each member
of the group. As she turned to the next person, the one who had been under
scrutinization let out a sigh of relief. Finally, she found her victim and a
slow smile slid across her lips.
"Beth, truth or dare?"
A breath caught in her throat as she found the rest of the group watching
her. Some, with pity, others awaiting her answer. It had been staged, she
realized almost instantly. Not everyone had been part of it, but several had.
And, she decided judging from the faces of Jaysen and M’Rana, her close
friends hadn’t been part of it.
"I’ll take truth," Beth decided. The last thing she wanted was
for Julie to invent a dare so humiliating that half of Voyager would be
talking about it.
The grin that lurked in Julie’s eyes caused Beth’s stomach to do flip
flops, but she refused to show her nervousness as she met the other girl’s
gaze with her own icy one.
"What are your exact feelings for my brother?"
Beth felt Jaysen flinch beside her. Their feelings were their own business,
she firmly believed. To be honest, she didn’t know exactly what she felt
concerning Jaysen Dalby. So, how could she be expected to tell a group of nosy
teenagers?
"Well?"
"I haven’t reached a decision," Beth replied evenly.
"Not a good enough answer," Julie’s eyes glittered. "Do you
want to take the dare?"
Beth thought she heard Jaysen mutter a plea for her to do so, but she wasn’t
certain. "What is it?" she asked of Julie.
The other girl appeared to think about it, but nearly everyone at the table
had come to the conclusion that she had planned this the whole time. "You
have to sneak into the captain’s quarters and change something enough that we’ll
know you were there."
"Julie! She could get into a lot of trouble for breaking into
quarters," Jaysen burst out at his sister.
Julie shrugged. "If she’s careful, they’ll never know who did it.
Besides," this time her gaze shifted to Beth, "He’s your father,
right?"
As the table erupted into a debate on whether or not the dare was legitimate
or not, Beth swiftly reached her conclusion.
"I’ll do it," she said softly as she rose from the chair.
"You’ll do it?" Julie echoed. She hadn’t really expected Beth
to agree to it. Her original intentions had been to make Beth appear too upright
to do anything fun.
"I’ll need M’Rana’s guidance for part of it," Beth decided, a
plan already forming in her mind. "But, I’ve got an idea."
"We’re not all going with her," Michael, one of Jaysen’s best
friends spoke up. "How will we know if she actually does go through with
it?"
"If you’re on the bridge tomorrow morning," Beth said with a
secret smile of her own, "You’ll know."
~ * =/\= * ~
Chakotay frowned as he passed M’Rana Paris in the corridor. She was
nervous, he thought to himself. Something wasn’t quite as it should be. The
door to his quarters slid open and, for a brief instant, Chakotay was
transported back to when Kathryn had been alive. The terminal at his desk wasn’t
dark as it usually was when he returned from a duty shift. Instead, it was alive
and blinking as it had been when his wife had been up late working. He must have
left it on this morning, he surmised, flipping it off.
Meandering to the replicator, he tugged off the confining uniform jacket and
ordered a mug of herbal tea, hoping to soothe his nerves. Then, he settled on
the sofa with the last report of the day- his daughter’s.
But, his thoughts weren’t focused on her report. Instead, they kept
wandering in the direction of the glass snow-dome sitting on a shelf not far
from him…
Kathryn Janeway let out a delighted gasp as Chakotay’s arm slipped around
her waist from behind. "Chakotay, not here," she admonished him
softly.
"Then where? We’re alone," he murmured against his wife’s ear
as he bent to kiss her temple.
"We’re three feet from the bridge," she retorted, but turned to
face him instead of attempting to escape his embrace.
"Three feet and a closed door," he whispered devilishly. She
started to laugh, but was quickly silenced by his kiss.
"Happy birthday," he finally said in way of breaking off the kiss.
"You remembered."
He feigned a hurt face, "Of course I remembered. You thought I’d
actually forget my wife’s birthday? Maybe I shouldn’t give you this…"
Kathryn glared at him playfully as she caught the hand that didn’t have
itself wrapped around her. "Just what do we have here?"
"Should I give it to you, I wonder?"
"I think so," she declared already with the small package in her
grasp. Carefully, she peeled back the paper and peeked inside the box.
"Chakotay!"
Now, she had pulled fully away from him and was setting the box on her desk
so she could pull the glass dome out of it.
Inside, a tiny replica of her parent’s home in Indiana rest snugly between
the old oak trees she remembered climbing as a child. The pond in her back yard
glistened as if just frozen over, but it wasn’t covered in snow…yet. Turning
the dome over, Kathryn watched mesmerized as the snow began to fall over the
serene setting.
"It’s beautiful, Chakotay," she whispered, tears gathering in her
eyes. Gently setting the dome back on her desk, she flung her arms around his
neck and clung to her first officer, best friend, and husband. "Thank
you."
Chakotay turned the dome over in his large hands and watched as the ‘snow’
fell around the two trees and cozy home as some of it covered the frozen pond.
She had loved it, not just because he had made it for her or because it reminded
her of home, but because Chakotay had been sensitive to the fact that she was
often homesick for her own family on Earth.
Rising from the sofa, the captain returned the glass-dome to its place on the
shelf and made his way toward the bedroom. The door to his room hadn’t shut
before her heard footsteps in his living area and the outer door of his quarters
slide open.
"Hello?" Silence greeted his ears. "Computer, was someone
other than myself in my quarters?"
"Affirmative."
"Who?"
"Ensign Elizabeth Kim."
~ * =/\= * ~
Jaysen and Beth both faced the door of the turbolift as it swiftly took them
back to deck three. After Beth and M’Rana had finally returned from their
adventure, the game had broken up and most of the young officers became involved
in a pool tournament. M’Rana, after hours of practice had finally emerged as
the champion.
Neither Jaysen nor Beth had played, but instead sat at a table out of the way
and watched the others as they discussed several topics at length.
"Have you decided what to do about your father?"
Beth’s mouth tightened into an angry grimace as he brought up the subject
she had tried without success to skirt around all evening. "I don’t want
anything to do with him," she replied curtly.
"Like it or not, he is your father," he reminded her, hesitantly
reaching to claim her hand. "And, if you don’t accept that fact until it’s
too late, you’ll regret it."
Beth looked down at their hands joined together. He had begun to show
affection toward her in a group setting- such as an arm around her waist- or in
an effort to comfort her, but not for the sake of just being near her when they
were alone. It was….different, she decided. And, she liked the feel of his
large hand engulfing her smaller one.
"You sound like him."
"I think we had this conversation three weeks ago," Jaysen said
with a forced laugh. "Why the change of heart?"
"I’ve had time to think things out," she answered, watching the
lights in the turbolift walls as they blinked steadily. "He gave me away,
Jaysen. I don’t know if I’ll ever really be able to forgive him for
that."
Jaysen tilted her chin up and forced her to meet his eyes, "You knew
that three weeks ago. What has changed since then?"
Beth was silent for a moment as she mulled over the question. What had
changed? Nothing, she told herself firmly. He had given her away and she had
just recently come to terms with what that meant. But, in her heart she knew
that wasn’t so. At least, not completely.
"I already have a mother and father," Beth replied shortly as the
doors slid open. Stepping out of the turbolift, she relaxed her hold on Jaysen’s
hand to give him the option of remaining. "I don’t need another."
"I think you’re afraid of losing him too," Jaysen said softly
following her and then tugged on her hand. "Beth, stop."
"If the captain was killed tomorrow, it couldn’t be soon enough,"
Beth hissed at him quietly. Jaysen regarded her silently with concerned eyes.
Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Think about whether or not
you really mean that," he instructed before leaving her to stand alone in
the corridor.
With a sigh, Beth entered her quarters and readied for bed. Sliding beneath
the sheets she tugged an extra blanket over her and reached for Flotter.
"Why’d I let them talk me into it, Flotter?" she asked the
stuffed toy, already an idea for fixing what she had done to her father’s
replicators forming in her mind. But, there wasn’t a way to undo everything.
She knew that she would have to face the consequences of her actions, but she
didn’t relish the punishment that was to follow.
‘Think about whether or not you really mean that,’ Jaysen’s words of
only a few minutes ago floated through her mind. Did she really wish he would
die? He was her father, after all. No arguing or wishing could ever change that
fact. And she was distancing herself from him because he had given her way,
right?
Rolling to her side, Beth snuggled into the blankets and gazed at the stars
just beyond her window. She was afraid, she admitted to herself. She was afraid
of losing the close-knit family she had been raised in. Chakotay, although he
had no intentions of doing so, threatened that family with his desire to know
his daughter.
Beth hadn’t been able to put into words the exact feelings she had towards
Chakotay, but now everything seemed to become as clear as the night sky as she
recognized her own fears. When she had suggested that she would like to get to
know Chakotay, she hadn’t realized that it would mean certain sacrifices to
her own family. Not sacrifices in the sense of her losing her family, she
quickly amended, but in the sense that if she had breakfast with Chakotay, she
couldn’t be with her Dad.
Would her parents be hurt if she chose to eat with the captain, she wondered?
Or vice versa? Having never been forced to contend with more than one set of
parents, she didn’t know how to proceed in this situation. So, she opted for
the easiest way out- she avoided it.
And now, she felt immense guilt for tampering with the captain’s computers.
She wanted to know the man and who her mother had been, but she was
afraid of losing her own family in the process. However, that wasn’t reason
enough to warrant the surprise he would find tomorrow morning.
She would take the punishment, she decided. Hopefully, it would alleviate the
guilt that rested on her shoulders now.
~ * =/\= * ~
"Status?"
Beth jumped even though the captain hadn’t spoken to her. It was almost
0700 and he had just arrived on the bridge. She couldn’t see her dad, but she
could hear the amusement in Harry’s voice as the report from last night was
read to Chakotay. "Nice socks," he added.
"Usually, I wear black," Chakotay replied. "Not white. But,
all of my black seem to have disappeared. In addition to my shoes. And, when I
replicated new boots, this is what I got."
Beth refused to glance back at the object she knew he held in his hands, but
the snickers around the bridge told her that the fuzzy pink socks with white
bunnies had made their appearance.
"Lieutenant, my ready room please," Chakotay ordered as he made his
way to his haven with Harry following in his wake.
When the doors to the ready room had finally slid shut, Beth chanced a glance
at Julie who had secured a shift at the science console earlier that morning.
Her gaze was already on Beth and, although the other girl was doing her best to
hold back her laughter, she glared unmercifully at Beth. On the other hand,
Joshua, who was seated at tactical, shot her a huge grin and two thumbs up.
"Elizabeth."
Beth bit her lip as she turned to face her dad who had just emerged from the
captain’s hiding place next to the action. "Dad, I-"
"I’ll let the captain take care of it," Harry said gesturing for
her to enter the ready room.
Guiltily, Beth stepped away from the helm and moved slowly to the ready room.
She would take whatever punishment he gave her, she had decided. There would be
no arguments and possibly, she would be able to get rid of the guilt that hung
over her head.
"Anything you want to tell me?" Chakotay asked after the doors had
slid shut.
Beth studied a single thread of carpet on the floor, but refused to answer or
even look at the captain.
"Elizabeth, you wanted me to know who did it," Chakotay
accused. "I know you’re smart enough to hide your trail if you so choose,
but you didn’t even take off your comm badge. Why not?"
"I’ll accept whatever punishment you deem necessary," Beth
replied evenly.
Chakotay tossed the pink socks on his desk and studied his white-socked feet.
"You think I’m just going to issue out a punishment without knowing the
reason for your behavior?" he inquired.
Again, she refused to answer him. He would do it, she knew. He would give her
the task of helping the doctor or cleaning something on Voyager and then
she could feel as though a burden had been lifted from her chest.
"What do you think I should do?" he tried again.
"Punish me. Assign me to help the doctor, make dinner, clean the plasma
manifolds."
Chakotay regarded her silently, "Would that solve the problem?"
"I broke the rules," Beth answered. "I entered another officer’s
quarters without permission. For that, you have the right to throw me in the
brig."
"Funny," Chakotay pushed aside a stack of data padds and sat on the
desk. "If your mother had lived, the quarters you entered would have been
your own."
"She didn’t and they’re not. Discipline me in whatever way you deem
appropriate and I’ll return to my shift."
"No."
"No?" she repeated weakly.
"That’s right," Chakotay repeated. "No. I will not punish
you. You did it for a reason and I’ll have to accept that you’re not going
to tell me. But, this time, I’ll go easy on you. Dismissed."
Chakotay watched as Beth’s features ran from puzzled and confused to an
almost depressed look before she gradually left his ready room and he wanted to
laugh. He had discussed it briefly with Harry and was certain they had devised
the best method of punishment for Beth- none. If he was any judge at reading her
face, and after living with Kathryn he considered himself one, Beth felt an
incredible weight of embarrassment and guilt over what had happened and not
being punished was worse than a week of swabbing the deck.
~ * =/\= * ~
As soon as her duty shift was over, Beth escaped the bridge and made her way
to the mess hall where she was scheduled to meet with Jaysen.
"Hey Beth!"
Turning quickly, Beth found Michael waving to her from across the messhall.
"Good job this morning!"
"Yeah, not bad," Albyn added.
She nodded briefly in acknowledgment as she felt her insides knot even
tighter. Claiming a tray of Neelix’s latest recipe she sat down at a table
near the back by herself.
Bridge duty had been a near nightmare, she remembered poking the grayish-blue
substance that resembled a vegetable of some sort. Nothing out of the ordinary
had occurred- with the exception of that morning. But, that was enough to offset
her entire day.
Overcome with guilt, every little move seemed to result in one mistake or
another. Beth had steered the ship off-course several times and was surprised
she hadn’t been thrown off the bridge due to lack of concentration. Most of
the time, she managed to correct the course before anyone could notice, but
there were still the half dozen or so times Chakotay had inquired gently as to
why she had changed direction.
Inquired. He never reprimanded, Beth recalled, nor did he demand. Each time
he quietly asked if there was a reason for the change. Her stomach knotted once
again in remorse as she thought again of her invasion of his sanctuary. How he
could calm the storm she knew must be raging against her and lurking behind his
eyes was beyond her comprehension. She didn’t deserve it.
As she speared a chunk of the meat beside the grayish-blue vegetables, Beth’s
ears picked up the sound of B’Elanna Paris dropping her own tray on a nearby
table.
"Not good," B’Elanna told someone in answer to a question Beth
hadn’t heard. "I spent the first three hours of the day reconfiguring the
captain’s computer. He managed to change the replicator so it would deliver
socks when he asked for shoes," she spat out.
"You’re kidding," Tom Paris’s voice held a note of laughter to
it.
"No, I’m not," B’Elanna’s fork clinked against the tray as it
was laid down. "Do you know how hard it is to re-write that system? I don’t
think Chakotay even knows how to do it. And why would he want to change his
replicator system? I think he’s covering for someone."
"Who would want to replace his shoes with socks?"
"Not just socks," Beth imagined B’Elanna’s face had a tight
grimace painted across it. "Pink socks with white bunnies on them."
The fork would now be pointed at Tom, Beth knew, as his wife delivered,
"And I can’t imagine anyone ever wanting to play a joke on
Chakotay."
"Guilty," Tom admitted. "But, I can’t take the credit for
this one. Though, I wish I could."
"Well, whoever did it cost me three hours." The couple looked up,
startled, as Beth rushed past them.
"Wonder what that was about," B’Elanna muttered, her eyes
following the young officer.
~ * =/\= * ~
"Sickbay to the captain."
Chakotay’s hand froze where it had just finished pulling a drawer out of
his desk. "Chakotay here, Doctor."
"Sir, I’ve found something that you should look at."
"Does it require my immediate attention? I’m in the middle of
something."
The doctor sighed loudly over the comm. "Well, it’s not a medical
emergency. And if it was, no one would be concerned over that either. It’s
just like this crew-"
"Thanks, Doctor."
Chakotay’s hand brushed against the data chips as he laid a padd in his
desk drawer. Lifting them out, he audibly sighed. Beth deserved to know what her
mother had said, he decided. Taking a deep breath, he tapped his comm badge and
prepared for Beth to answer.
When she did not immediately respond, he asked again "Ensign Kim?
Computer, locate Ensign Elizabeth Kim."
"Elizabeth Kim is in her quarters."
Frowning, he closed the comm link. She couldn’t be asleep-- not this early.
"Chakotay to M’Rana Paris."
"Paris here," M’Rana’s surprised voice filled the ready room.
"Sorry to disturb you, M’Rana," Chakotay said still gazing down
at the chips held in his hand. "I was wondering if you knew where Beth
was."
"I haven’t seen her since this afternoon."
"Thanks." Maybe Jaysen Dalby knew, he decided. His daughter and
Kenneth Dalby’s son had been seen more and more frequently with one another of
late.
"She was supposed to meet me for dinner," Jaysen answered the
captain when questioned. "But, she never showed up."
"Thanks, Jaysen," he said forcing his voice to remain calm. He was
annoyed that he couldn’t immediately contact his daughter, but accepted the
fact that she may have simply left her comm badge in her quarters so as not to
be disturbed. It would not be the first time an officer had done that, he
remembered with a laugh.
With a devilish grin, Chakotay laid the comm badge on his dresser and moved
towards the doors of his quarters. If asked, the computer would report that he
had been in his quarters the entire evening.
Silently, the first officer made his way through the corridors of Voyager and
to the aeroponics garden where he knew he would find an empty room. Empty, save
for the plants, that is. And, hidden behind a large trellis which held vines
laden tomatoes, the object of his mission grew.
Pulling a knife from his boot, Chakotay carefully cut six of the fullest red
roses he had spent the past year cultivating- one for each year he had known
her. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t be caught growing flowers. But
this time he had made an exception.
It was May 20th. Her birthday. And he knew Kathryn loved roses.
With the half-dozen long-stem roses cradled tenderly in his arms, Chakotay
quickly made his way back to his quarters. The crystal vase had cost him two
weeks of replicator rations, but he knew as he arranged the flowers that she
would love it.
After checking Janeway’s location and finding her in her ready room,
Chakotay slipped next door to her quarters and over rid the lock. Stepping into
the darkened rooms the light scent of perfume and lavender shampoo filled his
nostrils.
After giving his eyes a second to adjust to the darkened surroundings, he
picked the small table in what served as her ‘dining room’ to set the roses
on. She would see them the instant she came through the door, he knew. And, just
to make sure, he called for the light above the table to be lit at half
illumination.
Back in his quarters, Chakotay repinned the comm badge to his gray shirt
after discarding the jacket. Everything had gone exactly according to plan.
Chakotay awoke with a start to the insistent sound of his comm badge beeping
at him.
"What?!" he demanded slapping it and then wincing as the corner
poked his hand.
"Sorry to disturb you, Commander," Janeway’s voice filled his
ears, laughing at him as she realized she had caught him napping. "I wanted
to ask you whether or not you had been in my quarters this evening."
"Check the logs, Kathryn," Chakotay grumbled, trying to hide his
smile.
"Logs mean nothing when you’ve got an ex-Maquis for a first
officer," she retorted, but he could hear the grin in her voice.
"Good night, Kathryn," he said forcefully.
She laughed again, but closed the comm link.
The next morning, Chakotay reported for duty as usual, slightly surprised to
find the captain already on the bridge. With a smart gesture of her hand, she
indicated he was to follow her.
Once they were safely hidden behind closed doors, she pointed at the
half-dozen roses in the crystal vase that now rested on her desk.
"You wouldn’t by any chance be responsible for those, would you now,
Commander?" she asked with a slight grin tugging on the corner of her
mouth.
"Me?" his eyes widened in innocence, but Kathryn didn’t miss the
twinkle in them. "Absolutely not, Captain. I came to give you B’Elanna’s
report on Seven’s latest idea." To prove his point, he held out the
engineering report he had fallen asleep reviewing last night.
Taking it, her blue-gray eyes skimmed over the information quickly.
"Tell B’Elanna to get right on it," she ordered. Then, reaching out
to catch his arm as he turned, she added in a softer voice, "Thanks for the
roses, Chakotay. I love them."
It wasn’t the first time an officer had been sneaking around and felt the
need to disguise his or her location, but Chakotay would have felt better
knowing where his daughter was.
However, when Seven and Harry contacted Chakotay three hours later inquiring
as to whether or not he knew anything concerning the whereabouts of Beth, he
became alarmed.
~ * =/\= * ~
Beth drew in a deep breath as she clutched her Flotter doll closer to her
chest. They had been huddled together, alone in the dark with only a few
sparingly spaced out lights to illuminate the jefferies tubes, for over four
hours. But, she was alone. And that’s what counted.
After realizing the amount of trouble caused by her little stunt, Beth had
retreated to her childhood hiding place in the bowels of the ship. She was
located just under the computer core in a heavily shielded area. There was a
three-meter stretch of jefferies tube located there that was one of the few
places internal sensors couldn’t scan reliably.
Once Beth and M’Rana had made that discovery some ten years ago, it became
their favorite place to hide from the other children (and their parents when
they were afraid of getting in trouble). Combined with the fact that it was only
accessible through a series of jefferies tubes, it made an ideal hiding place.
In recent years, the childhood hideout had given way to become a thinking
place when Beth felt down about something. M’Rana retreated to the aeroponics
garden, but Beth always found herself led back to the hideout.
The sound of someone moving in her direction caused Beth to tense and clutch
Flotter even tighter.
"Beth! Are you back here?"
A sigh of relief escaped Beth’s lips as M’Rana’s voice floated around
the corner.
"What are you trying to do? Run away again?" M’Rana huffed as she
rounded a corner and faced Beth fully. "I thought you were past that."
Beth rolled her eyes at her best friend. The last time she had run away had
been when Tuvok, at the time her instructor and not superior officer, had
informed her that the time to leave the classroom had come. She had feared that
all learning was to be halted and she would simply serve as an officer on board Voyager.
Not understanding that she couldn’t be further from the truth, the twelve
year old had crawled into her hiding place only to be discovered several hours
later by the only other person on board who knew what this place meant. And now,
M’Rana faced her again.
"He didn’t punish me, Goldie."
"So? I’d be glad," M’Rana slumped against the wall of the
jeffries tube. "If that’s your excuse, I’m going to haul you out by
your ears. It took me twenty minutes to get away from the captain and your
parents-- who, I might add, are in an uproar over your disappearance."
"Sorry I wasn’t more accommodating."
"Beth, what’s the real reason?"
Tears pricked the back of Beth’s eyes as she stared at her best friend who
had sacrificed her knees to come after her. Was there even a real reason, she
wondered. Or, was she just being foolish.
At the sight of Beth’s eyes watering, M’Rana scooted close enough to
slide an arm around the other girl’s shoulders. "Bethie, what’s
wrong?"
Beth drew in a shuddering breath and concentrated on the front of Flotter’s
vest. It wasn’t quite as shiny as it had been ten years ago, but it was well
loved.
"Beth?"
"He didn’t punish me," she repeated, tears already cried evident
in her voice. "And then, when I messed up on the bridge, he was kind to
me."
"You feel bad because you made a fool of him and he didn’t retaliate
at all?"
The other girl didn’t answer, but nodded and dropped her head to her knees
allowing her hair to cover her face. "I wish he had at least snapped at
me," she finally said in a muffled voice. "Then, I wouldn’t feel
like such a hideous monster."
"You feel guilty because you can’t find a reason to justify your
actions," M’Rana said after a long pause.
"Thank you, Dr. Paris."
"Sorry," M’Rana ducked her head in embarrassment. "Beth, I
think he did punish you."
Her head rose from her knees as she studied her friend doubtfully. "What
are you talking about?"
"Everyone knows what a conscious you have," M’Rana pointed out.
"Remember when we sneaked into sickbay with Naomi and Roget?"
"We wanted to find a cure for that plant virus," Beth smiled in
remembrance.
"We ended up using the last of his medical supplies and when he reported
a thief in sickbay-"
"I told him it was us," Beth finished. "But M’Rana, we were
ten years old. We didn’t do anything worse than use some supplies without
permission. This time, I entered the captain’s quarters without
permission and altered his computer."
"But, he’s punishing you with your own guilt," M’Rana reminded
her. "He must have known-"
Beth muttered something under her breath as her shoulders slumped in defeat.
"What"
"My dad," Beth repeated. "He went in the readyroom just before
I did."
"Okay, so your dad told the captain how to handle you," M’Rana
sighed. "Either way, their punishment worked."
"And what do you suggest I do?" Beth demanded to know.
"Apologize."
~ * =/\= * ~
Tuvok turned slightly as the doors to the turbolift slid apart. Elizabeth
emerged, clutching a worn, blue stuffed toy. With her chin held high, she
marched to the entrance of the captain’s readyroom and boldly pressed the door
chime.
Seconds later, she found herself facing the captain who sat behind his
massive desk and somberly regarded her.
"Where have you been?" he asked in a low voice rounding the desk.
"You had your parents and I worried sick."
"My parents know I sometimes like to be alone to think," she
replied carefully. "And as for you," she shrugged. "You don’t
know me."
Chakotay didn’t say anything, but returned to his chair and eyed the
stuffed animal curiously. "Sit," he ordered so forcefully that Beth
didn’t dare disobey.
"I came to apologize, sir."
Chakotay’s hand hovered in the drawer he had been rummaging through.
"What?" he asked, astounded. He and Harry had discussed and agreed
that punishing Beth by not punishing her at all would be the best course of
action, but he had hardly expected her to come forward and apologize.
"I’m sorry," she said louder this time. "For entering your
quarters, tampering with your replicator, and creating several extra hours of
work for Lt. Paris."
Folding his hands on his desk, he gazed at her as his daughter instead of an
officer. "What did you learn, Elizabeth?"
"Not to assume that no punishment is no punishment?"
"What about following what the crowd would have you do?" Chakotay
chuckled as surprise flitted over Beth’s visage. "I’m not as dense as
you think I am, Beth. I do listen carefully to what goes on around my ship. And,
after I found M’Rana lurking around my quarters, I made some discreet
inquisitions. Julie was wrong to dare you. But, you were wrong to succumb to the
wishes of the majority."
"Understood," Beth shifted uncomfortably in her chair and clutched
Flotter’s body tighter in her hands. She had come to her father with the
intentions of setting right the wrong she had done—not to be lectured.
"Beth-"
"No," she rose from the chair and took a step back. "Don’t
lecture me like you’re my father. Because you’re not. And, I didn’t come
in here to give you that right; I only came to apologize."
Chakotay silently regarded her for several seconds as he weighed his options.
He could attempt to force the issue, but the bright blue-gray eyed child had
already proven once that she would not allow him to take a place in her life as
anything but a superior officer. Or, he could ignore her. But, the thought of
having his baby girl continue to grow into the spitting image of her mother
without knowing Captain Janeway was even more appalling.
"What about your mother?" he finally asked in a soft voice.
"Would you refuse to know her?"
"She died a long time ago," Beth brushed a lock of auburn hair from
her face as she answered him without an ounce of hostility in her voice.
Chakotay briefly returned to the drawer he had been searching through minutes
before. Beth watched, curious, as his hand closed around an object.
"Your mother and I made these," he said, his eyes on the tightly
clenched fist. "We hoped that they would never need to be used, but
recognized the fact that we live in a dangerous world." Raising ebony eyes
to his daughter, he didn’t bother to hide the tears gathering in them.
"It’s time you met your mother. Everything she wanted you to know is in
this program. If she did hers like mine, you should be able to ask her hologram
questions. And, hopefully, get some answers you’ve probably been afraid to ask
me."
~ * =/\= * ~
Hands shaking, it took Beth three tries to get the chip into the computer
console outside holodeck two. Tapping a few buttons, she instructed the computer
to run the program on the chip.
"Enter when ready," the computer’s female voice cheerfully
chirped.
Taking a deep breath and clenching the still-shaking hands, Beth raised her
chin and prepared to face whatever lay beyond those doors. With butterflies
beating in her stomach, she stepped into the holodeck.
Instantly, she stiffened. The walls, floor, and ceiling had transformed to an
old workshop Beth had only viewed once, before Captain Chakotay had chased M’Rana
and herself out of the holodeck with a shout to never return. In the center,
bent over a lump of clay and humming a vaguely familiar tune was a figure so
close in resemblance to her that Beth knew this was her mother.
Kathryn Janeway’s hologram turned to face the only occupant of the holodeck
and smiled. "Hello, Shannon."
With those two words, Beth felt as thought a knife had been pushed through
her stomach and the butterflies escaped leaving only a hollow and empty feeling.
They were a cruel reminder to the lies the crew of Voyager had been
telling her for the past seventeen years. But, she remembered, this woman had
nothing to do with what her crew had done.
"Hello, Mother," she greeted her as she moved forward into the Da
Vinci program. Touching the soft sculpture of a dog briefly, she ran a finger
along the top of its nose.
"My dog," Kathryn said, still sitting where she had first appeared
as she wiped her hands on a damp rag. "Molly was pregnant when I left the
Alpha Quadrant. But, you wouldn’t have come here to ask about my dog. You came
because I’m not here to answer your questions in person."
"Yes," Beth said softly, turning her full attention to the woman in
the Starfleet uniform. She was older than the picture her father had in his
office, but she had expected that. Lines, not evident in the picture were
clearly etched into Janeway’s face from her last years on Voyager. Beth
studied the blue-gray eyes so much like her own and the auburn colored hair with
a touch of faded red carefully as she weighed the order in which she wanted to
ask her questions. "Why did he give me away?" she finally asked.
"Please restate the question," Kathryn automatically responded,
reminding Beth that this was a hologram and not actually her mother.
"Why would my father not raise me himself?" Beth fervently hoped
that Kathryn Janeway would have prepared something to answer that question and
not leave her to wonder.
After several seconds of processing, Kathryn’s face fell. "Your father
didn’t raise you," she said softly. "I will assume that Seven of
Nine raised you as her daughter per my request." Kathryn moved toward an
old bench and sat down motioning for Beth to join her. Beth quickly did so and
was surprised when the hologram’s warm hand rested comfortingly on her arm.
"Your father and I discussed at great length who was to rear you in the
event of our deaths. We decided Seven was the best choice. Actually," she
grinned wryly, "I decided and managed to convince him. If he had died and I
had lived, I would have had an extremely hard time going on without him."
Kathryn took a deep breath and paused, almost as if the hologram was trying to
gather her thoughts, Beth mused. "I suppressed all attraction I felt
towards your father for nearly six years because I was afraid of losing my best
friend, but what I discovered was that he and I were meant to love each other.
After we married, I began to fear that if I lost him, I wouldn’t be able to
continue as captain of this crew. Those fears were never discussed between us,
but if Seven reared you and your father is still alive, I can only tell you that
he must have felt the same as I did."
"Shannon, you must try to understand what he would have gone through.
For six years we were each other’s best friend. As the senior most officers of
this ship, we were set apart from the rest of the crew. It was only with him
that I felt permitted to be just ‘Kathryn’ and not ‘the captain’."
"No doubt you’ll feel some anger towards him and quite possibly Seven.
You must overcome that anger," Kathryn’s blue-gray eyes burned
into Beth’s own. "If you don’t, you’ll miss the opportunity to know
your father. My own father died when I was a young woman. There have been many,
many times that I wished I could hear his voice or see him again. Your
grandfather was a wise man, Shannon. And so is your father."
"He loves you," Kathryn continued. "I don’t know how he’s
reacted to you, but I do know he loves you." At Beth’s doubtful look, a
frown crossed Kathryn’s features. "Shannon, if you take nothing else from
this program, know that your father and I love you very much. If I was alive, I
would want to know you. And, if he’s given you this program, I know he’s
ready to know you too."
Beth took a deep breath and leaned back on the bench as she struggled to come
to grips with the facts her mother was laying before her- had known she would
need and dutifully prepared.
"I am not the programmer Lieutenant Paris and Ensign Kim are," the
hologram said watching Beth. "But, I have done my best preparing this
simulation for whatever questions you need to ask."
"What was my father like….before?" Beth wondered aloud. It was a
question she had only visited once in her mind, but not she found it at the
front. "I can’t imagine anyone wanting to marry the cold man he is now; I
don’t even want to know him. What made you fall in love with him?"
Kathryn’s eyes became distant and Beth knew that for this instant, she was
watching her mother’s face as she had recorded this bit.
"When the caretaker brought us to the Delta Quadrant we had no choice
but to work together if we ever wanted to see our people again," Janeway
began. "The first time I saw him in his Starfleet file, I didn’t register
how handsome he really was. The second time, however…. "
Kathryn raised her chin slightly at this man who dared to insult an officer
on the bridge of her own vessel as he peered down at her with coal black eyes.
She was vaguely aware of their officers watching, including a Tom Paris whom she
was defending against this Maquis, but she was more acutely aware of Chakotay’s
face hovering mere inches above hers.
His shoulders, covered by the dark tunic custom of the Maquis were barely
moving in rhythm to his breathing, but she could feel the slight air movement on
her own face. Beneath her own uniform, her heart was hammering. Could he see how
nervous she actually was? She had been sent to capture and return this criminal,
not to face off with him! A tiny smudge of dirt tinted the skin under his chin-
a sure sign that he had been working with his crew on his ship only minutes
before which Janeway found to be a quality of a captain sure of himself. But,
was he too sure of himself, she wondered.
His obsidian eyes moved quickly over her face as if attempting to determine
what kind of a captain she was by simply watching her. As they locked with her
blue eyes she held his gaze firmly for several seconds. Finally, he conceded and
stepped down.
"I was scared to death that he would attempt to seize my ship,"
Kathryn admitted to Beth with a slight smile. "But, after the first few
rocky weeks, and our first arguments of crew assignments, I knew I had found a
friend for life."
"Did you ever wish you had married him earlier?" Beth found herself
asking easily.
"Accessing personal logs," the hologram’s face went blank for
several seconds and then she turn back to Beth. "In answer to your
question, Captain Janeway noted in forty-eight separate instances that she
wished to marry Commander Chakotay before the event took place on December 2 of
2378. Thirty-six of them indicate that they were not presently involved. The
remaining logs infer that they were in the courting stage."
"Thanks," Beth said awkwardly rising from the bench.
"Shannon," Kathryn’s hologram called her attention back to the
mother she had been instead of the hologram that now stood before her. "Per
our earlier conversation. From your responses I have determined that you do not
know the person your father is." Kathryn took a step forward and laid a
hand on Beth’s shoulder. "Get to know your father," she begged.
"Not just for him or for me, but for yourself."
"I’m afraid," Beth whispered.
Kathryn’s brows knit together in confusion. "Afraid?"
"That my family will change," Beth explained.
"Of course it will," Kathryn smiled sadly. "Chakotay will
become a part of your family. But, I don’t believe he will ever try to replace
Seven. And, if she married, I don’t think he’ll try to replace the father
you’ve grown up with."
Beth sadly smiled at the hologram standing before her. "Thank you,
Mother," she whispered. "Computer, terminate program." Abruptly
the workshop disappeared and was replaced by the yellow and black hologrid.
"Thank you," Beth softly said again. "But, I can’t."
~ * =/\= * ~
"Where have you been?"
M’Rana let out a sharp gasp as she entered her darkened room and found a
figure leaning against her pillows. "Beth!" In a more calm voice she
called for lights and then joined her best friend on the bed. "What are you
doing here?"
"I was bored sitting in my own quarters?" When M’Rana frowned at
her, Beth pulled her knees up to her chin. "I didn’t want to talk to my
parents," she admitted softly.
"Any particular reason?"
"I met my mother today," At M’Rana’s confused look, Beth
hurried on, "Captain Janeway. Her hologram. She created a holoprogram
before she died for me."
"What’d she have to say?" M’Rana asked casually as she tugged
off her gold-shouldered jacket and tossed it over a chair.
"She wanted me to know my father," Beth muttered, pulling a pillow
onto her knees so she could press her chin in it.
M’Rana dropped back onto the bed, "I still fail to see why you’re
refusing to."
Beth was silent for a moment. Finally, she repeated what she had told her
mother, "I’m afraid."
"Of what?" M’Rana stared at her incredulously. "He won’t
bite, you know."
"I’m afraid…of hurting my own parents." M’Rana raised a
doubtful eyebrow at Beth, so she rushed on. "If I begin spending time with
the captain, that takes time from my own family."
"Jealousy?" M’Rana deduced. "You’re afraid your parents
will be bitten by the green eyed monster?"
"By what?"
"Nevermind," M’Rana laughed gently. "Something my dad taught
me."
"That’s just it," Beth sighed, dropping her chin back into the
pillow. "You had a father while you were growing up to teach you funny
little things like that."
"So did you," M’Rana reminded her. "How many times have you
tried to teach me a musical scale?"
"I’m not any good at it," Beth protested. "Besides, that’s
not the point. The point is that now they want me to have two fathers—one of
who refused to acknowledge me until a few weeks ago. I’m not sure I’m ready
to deal with that."
M’Rana frowned at Beth, "And them?" she demanded.
"What about them?"
"Doesn’t Chakotay deserve the opportunity to have you as a
daughter?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow at Beth. "Why will you accept
the fact that Captain Janeway is your mother- you’ll even visit her on the
holodeck- but you won’t have dinner with the captain?"
Beth stared at M’Rana, stunned. "I thought you would understand,"
she said tossing the pillow aside and standing. "I guess I was wrong."
M’Rana wanted to kick herself as Beth quickly left the room. On an impulse,
she followed, hoping to stop the other girl from leaving, but just as the words
to call her back left her lips, the doors to the Paris quarters slid shut.
"What happened?" Tom asked, looking up from where he was working on
his latest holoprogram.
"I opened my big mouth," M’Rana sighed. Tom only raised his
eyebrows knowingly. M’Rana knew she had a tendency to be blunt at times, but
she always tried to be sensitive when Beth needed her. This time, she had failed
miserably and was in need of help.
"Can I talk to you, Dad?"
~ * =/\= * ~
Jaysen watched as Beth listlessly poked at her dinner tray and hid behind the
auburn hair falling over her shoulders. "Not hungry?"
With a disgusted sigh, Beth pushed the tray away from her and dropped the
fork on it. "Not tonight."
Jaysen said nothing, but took a bite of his own casserole. Chewing slowly, he
studied Beth’s arms crossed over her chest and tried to get a glimpse of her
downcast face staring intently at the table. "What happened?"
"Nothing," Beth lied. "I’ve just got a lot on my mind."
"Like?" he pressed.
"Nothing," she insisted. Glancing up, she was started at the amount
of tenderness she saw in his eyes. "It’s nothing," she said in a
softer tone. "Really."
"Whatever it is, it’s not bothering you like nothing would," he
said knowingly.
Beth smiled, embarrassed. "Thanks, Jaysen. But, it is something I
need to work through on my own."
Jaysen slowly nodded, accepting that she wasn’t going to tell him.
"Just remember that if you need a friend, I’m always here," he said
reaching across the table to claim her hand. "Now, what do you say to a
holodeck program? To get your mind off whatever it is you can’t tell me?"
"Oh no!" Beth gasped, snatching her hand out of Jaysen’s as she
leapt to her feet. "I’m supposed to report to sickbay!"
"What?"
"For being late to my duty shift. The captain assigned me to help the
doctor sterilizing his instruments," Beth explained in a hurry. Hastily,
she tried to gather her tray in her arms, but Jaysen’s hands stopped her.
"Go, Beth. I’ll take care of this."
Without thinking, Beth leaned over and dropped a kiss on his cheek,
"Thanks Jaysen. You’re an angel."
If clearing the dishes away every night would get him a kiss on the cheek,
Jaysen swore he’d do it until the day they died.
~ * =/\= * ~
"Sorry I’m late, Doctor," Beth exclaimed bursting through the
doors of sickbay. Grasping the biobed nearest the door, she struggled to regain
her breath. "Lieutenant Jarvin was working on the turbolift; I ran here all
the way from the messhall." As she stopped babbling and lifted her head,
she was startled to see her mom standing at a console beside the doctor.
"I assume you’re here for your punishment?" the doctor asked of
Beth. At her nod, he continued. "Very well. You may start sterilizing that
tray over there." To Seven, "We’ll work on the second verse next
time," the doctor told her with a smile.
"As you wish, Doctor. Though, I believe we will be sufficiently prepared
for the talent show after our next rehearsal." Seven turned her attention
from the medical officer to her daughter. "Will you be coming home
soon?"
Beth said nothing, but cast a questioning glance at the Doctor.
"In an hour or so," he said. "I have a few tests I’d like to
run on Beth after she finishes the sterilization. Nothing crucial," he
continued in a rush as Seven’s Borg implant rose over her eye in fear.
"Just a few standard tests."
"I’ll see you when you get home," Seven told Beth as she laid a
hand on her shoulder. "Your dad and I want to talk to you."
Beth’s heart sank at her mom’s words, but she nodded in agreement. As
Seven exited sickbay and the doctor left her to her task at hand, Beth’s mind
began to wander. What would her next away mission consist of, she wondered.
After the way she had snapped at the captain, would he even give her another
mission? At first, she had pursued the command track because everyone felt she
would excel at it more than the science. But, later she had come to realize that
she actually enjoyed it—even more than piloting.
Her heart skipped a beat with excitement as she remembered the lesson
Lieutenant Paris had scheduled for tomorrow morning. No sitting behind a dusty
console, for her—she would be crammed into a shuttle simulation on the
holodeck!
Finally, Beth ran the sterilization laser over the last instrument on the
tray. It was hard to believe that the Doctor actually used that many hypospray
heads in one week, but the job was at long last completed.
"Doctor," she called softly into the darkened office. "I’m
done."
The Doctor’s face, illuminated by the soft glow of his computer console,
snapped up to look at her. "Very good," he said standing quickly.
"If you’ll lie down on the biobed, this will only take a minute."
Beth, slightly confused but guessing that something from her last visit with
Dr. Neelix had been abnormal, complied quickly. The Doctor followed and, after
making several adjustments to his tricorder, ran the silver cylinder the length
of her body a dozen times. Tapping a change into his instrument, he repeated the
process.
"Thank you, Beth," he said, snapping the tricorder shut before she
could catch a glimpse of what he had been scanning for.
"Is everything all right?" she asked concerned for her own health
as well as that of her crew mates.
"You couldn’t be more fit," he declared with a slight smile.
"I only wanted to confirm something Mr. Neelix’s scans showed."
"What?"
"Nothing you need to worry about," he assured her. "I just
needed to make sure our cook/morale officer actually does know how to run a
medical tricorder. Until I was deactivated, he had been in sickbay only a
handful of times—and never in the medical capacity. It’s necessary that I
verify the quality of scans he is giving me."
"Oh," Beth said in a small voice. Dr. Neelix was the one
responsible for saving her best friend – and half the ship—from a viral
agent that had attacked nearly eleven years ago. Many times, she had taken her
broken bones from the holodeck to him and trusted the friendly Delta Quadrant
native to knit them back together. But, she told this hologram nothing of her
past experiences. "Can I go now?" she asked in a tiny voice.
The Doctor glanced over his shoulder from where he was feeding the tricorder
readings into his computer as if he’d forgotten she was there. "Sure, you’re
free to go."
~ * =/\= * ~
Seven looked up from where she was sitting comfortably in Harry’s arms as
the doors to their quarters slid apart. Beth dragged herself in, eyes downcast
and shoulders slumping.
"Take a seat, Beth," her dad ordered.
"Dad…." Beth hesitated to make her request, but as her face
contorted with a yawn she decided to continue. "Can we put this off until
tomorrow? I’m tired and Lt. Paris expects me in the holodeck first
thing."
Harry felt his heart turn over as he recognized the signs that told him Beth’s
day had been very long and she should have been in bed an hour ago.
"Go," he finally said softly, untangling himself from the woman he
loved. "Get a good night sleep. But, I want to talk with you tomorrow
night. No later."
Beth accepted the small hug without a struggle and then, surprisingly, kissed
her mom’s cheek before disappearing into her room.
"I was beginning to wonder if she’d ever let me hug her again,"
Harry admitted as he rejoined Seven on the sofa.
"I don’t know what’s happened," his wife said snuggling closer,
"But she’s changed. Again."
"Since she ‘ran away’," Harry agreed, pressing his chin to the
top of Seven’s blond head. "I wonder if we have M’Rana to thank for
it."
"Maybe," Seven was silent for a long moment. "Does it bother
you?"
"What?"
"You’re the only dad she’s ever known," Seven said shifting in
his arms. "Does it bother you that he wants to be able to have a
father/daughter relationship with Beth?"
Harry sighed deeply, "A little. But, I’ve always known the day would
come so I’ve had time to prepare."
"I’ve never given it much thought," Seven admitted. "If
Captain Janeway suddenly appeared wanting to establish herself as Beth’s
mother, I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t imagine how you can prepare
yourself for this."
"I take it one day at a time," Harry said leaning back slightly.
"And besides, I’ve got one thing Chakotay doesn’t have."
"Hmm?"
"A beautiful and loving wife to help me through this," The smile
that stretched across Seven’s face reached into her eyes and Harry couldn’t
resist returning it. "I remember when I would have given nearly anything
just to have you smile at me like that."
Smile. Smile. Smile.
Harry’s shoulders slumped in defeat when Seven laid the roses back down on
the table and carried one year old Beth into the nursery. With an inaudible
sigh, he emerged from his hiding place and dropped onto the sofa.
"Ow!" with a shout that should have been reserved for the holodeck
instead of his quarters where a baby was trying to sleep, his hand reached under
himself to retrieve the baby’s teething ring that had been hidden in the
cushions.
"Lieutenant?"
"What Seven?" he asked in an irritated voice. The teething ring had
been hard and cold. No doubt Beth had been chewing on it within the past hour.
And now, his pants sported a wet ring on the side from where he’d sat on it.
"Please remove the flowers from the main room. I don’t wish to have
plants that may carry harmful germs around the baby."
Harry’s heart sank even further. Try and surprise his wife and what does he
get? A lecture. Rising from the sofa, he snatched up the flowers and with more
force than necessary threw them in the recycle canister. Silently, he went into
his room and flopped onto the bed as tears kept at bay for more than a year
threatened to spill onto his cheeks.
This was how it had been since the day of the wedding. Seven spent the
duration of her time in astrometrics or engineering and he on the bridge—the
baby was cared for by Dr. Neelix or Samantha Wildman. If either Seven or Harry
was off-duty, Beth remained with them. Rarely were Seven and Harry alone for
more than ten minutes. And, she had somehow avoided that with the exception of
only a half dozen times since they had been married.
And the worst part? In all the years he had known her, he had seen her smile
exactly four times. Twice when she was attempting to engage in frivolous
conversation in the messhall, once at Beth, and once at Tom. Tom Paris! She had
smiled more often at his best friend than she did her own husband.
Harry was the first to admit it: he was jealous. Seven hadn’t changed at
all since they had married and he was bending over backwards to make this
marriage work. But, she simply ignored him.
"Lieutenant?"
Harry stiffened now as he heard her voice at his bedroom door. That was
another thing, he thought to himself. She was still calling him by rank after a
year of sharing quarters. He had asked her repeatedly to call him ‘Harry’,
but she always went back to his rank. He considered it a miracle she wasn’t
still referring to Beth as ‘Two’.
"You are angry."
Harry shook his head, unwilling to even look at her. "I don’t expect
you to change overnight, Seven," he said in a whispered voice. "But, I
do wish…"
Seven turned to look over her shoulder at the roses in the recycle canister.
Only the stems were peeking out, but she suddenly recalled the Doctor telling
her the meaning behind giving flowers to another person.
"I apologize," she said, hesitantly stepping into the room.
"For asking you to dispose of the flowers."
"It’s not the flowers," he said as he sat up. His eyes were red
as if he’d been crying, she observed. "It’s the fact that you’re not
even trying. For all you care, I’m just a live in baby-sitter to take care of
Beth when I’m off-duty."
"This is wrong," Seven concluded, still standing with her back
straight. "We should not be married. I will speak to the captain about
dissolving our marriage."
"No. No!" Harry jumped up from his bed and came to stand before
her. Taking a deep breath, he continued in a quieter voice. "I care for
you, Seven. And, I don’t want to see you try to raise Beth alone. I only wish
that you would make an attempt to know me as well."
Seven said nothing for a moment as she weighed his words. Finally, she
nodded, "As you wish."
"It was a start," Seven chuckled, her hair falling about her
shoulders as she dropped her face in embarrassment.
Harry’s hand cupped her chin and pulled her face until she met his eyes.
"A good start," he declared with a soft kiss.
~ * =/\= * ~
"Oh no. Oh no. Oh no," Beth stumbled over her own feet as she
hurriedly made her way from her quarters to the holodecks. She was late. But,
this time it wasn’t for a duty shift in sickbay; it was for the piloting
lessons she had so looked forward to.
"Ensign."
Biting back a cry of irritation, Beth turned in the direction of her father’s
voice.
"Late?" Chakotay asked, a small smile gracing his features. When
she nodded once, he continued at a much faster pace. "I’ll not keep you
long. I only wanted to see if you would join me for dinner tonight."
Breaking the gaze he held with Beth he took a deep breath and slowly exhaled.
"There’s something I want to give you—something you should have
had."
"I can’t," Beth said quickly, ignoring how fast Chakotay’s face
fell. "And right now-"
"You’re late," he finished for her. "Very well. Go."
Without looking back, Beth sped in the direction of the turbolift. "Deck
six," she ordered briskly. One hand tugged nervously on her uniform front
as the opposite foot tapped out a steady beat. When the doors slid apart, she
nearly flew from the ‘lift with her hair trailing behind her.
Tom Paris looked up, fairly amused, as Beth skid to a halt in front of him.
Her mouth opened, as if she wanted to say something, but as it worked no sound
came forth.
"Forget it, Beth," he chuckled already requesting the computer to
open the holodeck doors. Once inside the shuttle, Tom took the co-pilot’s
seat, leaving the pilot’s chair for Beth. She easily slid into it and ran a
hand over the console.
"Let’s take you through some easy warm ups," he began already
making the required selections of the computer from the co-pilot’s seat. When Voyager
had realized the need would come to train young pilots, Tom had insisted that he
be allowed to write the simulations. And, one of the first things he did was
modify the shuttle’s interior enough to have a program station at his elbow.
After all, if he was forced to speak changes in the program to the computer, the
youngster at the helm would know about the ‘surprises’ before they every
occurred.
"Easy now," he warned as Beth ‘took off’ from Voyager’s
shuttle bay. For all appearances, she had narrowly missed clipping the edge of
the shuttle’s starboard nacelle.
"Sorry," Beth amended, rotating the shuttle a few degrees to
compensate for her less than stellar launch.
"Elizabeth!" Tom’s shout was not uncalled for, though it did more
to startle his student than to warn her. Beth let out a shriek of her own as the
shuttle dipped to avoid a small piece of an asteroid and instead skid the bottom
of it along Voyager.
"Shields have failed. Plasma coil has been ruptured. Switching to back
up systems now." The computer’s friendly voice calming informed them as
smoke and steam billowed out of the back of the shuttle.
Beth bit her lip hard as she chanced a glance at her teacher. It didn’t
look good, she knew. Now, the shuttle finally had her full attention. Before,
she would admit it, her mind had been preoccupied with the words she had
exchanged with her father.
"Computer! Freeze program!" Tom roared spinning his chair so
quickly to face her that she feared he might keep spinning in circles.
Instantly, the smoke and steam appeared to freeze before their eyes. But, that
was the only thing that froze. "Are you trying to kill us?! Elizabeth, you
have performed dozens of launches—during your first flight—that were better
than that! What happened?!"
Beth visibly flinched at his tone of voice and Tom was instantly sorry he’d
shouted. "I’m sorry," he said in a more calmed manner, rubbing a
hand over his face. "But, what happened back there? You’ve flown that
exact pattern dozens of times; you could probably do it without the
viewscreen."
"I could," Beth declared lifting a quivering chin. "But,"
once confident of the exact answer she would deliver, Tom watched as her
shoulders slumped and she let out the breath she had taken in. "I got
distracted," she said in a whisper.
"Distracted?" Leaning forward, Tom pushed a lock of Beth’s hair
from her face. "By what?"
Hesitating, Beth debated for a moment whether or not she should tell her best
friend’s father about her own father.
"Does it have to do with your father?" Tom asked gently, his blue
eyes seeming to read Beth’s very soul. Her mouth opened to ask how, but Tom
cut her off. "M’Rana told me."
"Oh." The voice was devoid of any passion whatsoever, which
disturbed Tom greatly. Elizabeth had always been a girl with a fire in her eyes
and a goal just in sight. She lived each and every day trying to make something
of herself and to hear the lack of excitement in her voice unnerved Tom more
than Chakotay’s self-destruct of the ship would.
"Uncle Tom, why did M’Rana tell you?" Beth finally asked.
Why indeed, Tom had wondered more than once. At the time, his daughter had
appeared to simply want to get off her chest what she had been holding in. He
told Beth that and was rewarded with a scowl as she slumped further down into
her seat.
"You want to tell me about it? Or, should I just go on what M’Rana’s
told me?" he finished. When Beth refused to say anything, or even meet his
eyes, he continued. "You’re afraid," he said very softly. "And,
in your place, I don’t think there’s one of us who wouldn’t be." Even
though he kept his eyes trained on the glowing blue nacelle suspended just ‘outside’
their shuttle, he didn’t miss Beth’s eyes coming to rest on him. "If I
discovered I had another father, I’d be scared to death. But Beth, my dad and
I didn’t get along at all." Tom gave a short laugh as he looked down at
his hands. "He considered me nothing more than a nuisance—or so I
thought. It wasn’t until after we’d been in the Delta Quadrant for nearly
six years that I heard his voice again." Glancing sideways, he seemed to
remember that his young crew mate hadn’t been alive at that time. "We had
just been contacted by someone named Barclay. I’ll never forget that name.
Anyway, my dad happened to be there. And, he said he was proud of me." Tom’s
voice caught in his throat as his gaze finally returned to his daughter.
"What I’m trying to tell you Beth, is that if you don’t get to know
Chakotay, you may regret it. I wish I had known my dad better before we were
thrown to the other side of the universe."
Beth opened her mouth, but Tom swiftly cut her off.
"You’re afraid he’ll create problems in your family, right?"
Tom let out a brief laugh and leaned back in his seat. "Beth, your dad has
been preparing for this moment your whole life. Trust me. I was there that first
year when he spent half of his time in Sandrines because Seven wouldn’t speak
to him. Of course, M’Rana was still a baby at the time and screaming her head
off every night so I was glad for the excuse to get away myself. He told me a
lot about you. And I saw that even then, he was preparing himself for the day
that Chakotay would acknowledge to you that he’s your father."
Beth looked down at her hands, ashamed to meet his eyes. "They were
planning this whole time-"
"For you to be able to accept both of them as fathers?" Tom
finished for her. "I don’t think it was anything planned, per se. But, I
do think they were both preparing for it to eventually occur. Chakotay couldn’t
keep the Doc hidden in the cargo bay forever." His eyes twinkled with the
last line.
Beth said nothing for a moment, but silently regarded the console as tears
stung at her eyes. One salty tear finally pushed its way past the barrier she
was trying so hard to keep up and splashed onto the black and purple buttons
before her.
Gently, Tom’s arm stole around Beth’s still frame as she cried silently.
"I want to be able to know him and my mother," she whispered.
"But-"
"Then do it." Tom ordered, giving the child he’d considered a
niece for all her life a tight hug. "Beth, the only thing that should hold
you back is your own feelings about facing what has been told to you. Harry and
Seven are prepared for this. So is Chakotay. I’m sure he realizes what you’re
feeling, but I’m willing to bet that he’ll still try to break through the
walls you’ve built up."
"What do I do?"
"First, we finish this lesson and see if I can teach you the Hamekek
maneuver- my own personal achievement. Then, you go and talk to your
father." Tom released Beth as she eased herself out of his arms. "And,
I do mean right after this lesson."
~ * =/\= * ~
The palms of Beth’s hands were sweaty and her heart beat madly as she rode
the turbolift to the bridge. Only days before, it couldn’t go fast enough to
get to deck one. Now, the ride was over all too soon and Beth found herself
standing beside the security console. Nodding briefly at Tuvok who was sitting
in the captain’s chair, she moved toward the readyroom doors.
Instantly, they hissed apart and Beth found herself eye to chin with the
captain. Swallowing with great difficulty, she raised her eyes to meet his,
"Can I have a minute of your time…sir?"
Confusion swept over Chakotay’s features briefly, but he immediately
stepped back to allow Beth into his ready room. Silently, father and daughter
regarded one another. Who would speak first, Chakotay wondered. Did she have
something specific on her mind pertaining to the ship or was she here as his
daughter?
"I came to apologize, sir." A smirk flitted over Beth’s face as
she remembered the last time she had faced her father. "Again. But, this
time for brushing you off in the corridor."
His daughter, Chakotay guessed. Her blue-gray eyes that had once shot sparks
of anger at him were soft and almost looked like her mother’s when she was
asking for forgiveness. "Thank you for the apology, ensign," Chakotay
didn’t dare hope, as Beth’s toe dug into his carpet, that she might say
more. Her face was looking down at the toe of her boot, but clearly she more on
her mind than making amends. "Beth? Anything else?"
"Am I too late to have dinner with you tonight?" she said in a rush
and then bit her lip.
Slowly, Chakotay’s mouth spread into a wide grin. "Never," he
declared fiercely. "As a matter of fact, I was on my way out just now. Care
to join me in the messhall?"
A small smile tugged at the corner of Beth’s mouth as she followed her
father to the turbolift.
"Deck three," he ordered.
"The messhall-"
"Is on deck two. I know my own ship," Chakotay said easily.
"But, there’s something I should have given you a long time ago. And, if
your stomach can hold out ten more minutes, I think now is as good of time as
any."
"Seven to Kim."
Beth tapped her comm badge quickly and acknowledged her mother, "Go
ahead."
"Is everything all right?" Concern for her daughter was laced
through Seven’s voice as she questioned Beth.
"Yes, why?"
"You’re usually on time for dinner. And after nine hours on the
bridge, your dad is hungry."
Chakotay felt his insides sink. He already knew the end result of this
conversation. She would apologize (again) to him and retreat to a small family
dinner.
"If it’s okay with you," Beth began slowly, "I’d like to
have dinner with my father tonight."
There was silence on the other end of the comm as Harry and Seven exchanged
surprised glances. "Fine. That’s fine," Harry’s said through the
comm link. Beth wasn’t sure, but she thought she detected a smile in his
voice.
"Thanks Harry," Chakotay told the other man. Both knew that he was
thanking the other for more than a dinner with his daughter. Just then, the
doors of the turbolift slid open.
Consciously, Beth followed her father to his quarters.
"You won’t get put on report," he teased with a smile as he
disappeared into his room leaving Beth in the main room.
She glanced around, curious. The only other time she’d been there had been
during her little stunt with the computers and that hadn’t given her much
opportunity to look around. Meandering over to a shallow table of sorts that was
set up in front of the long window, Beth studied the objects displayed.
A snow globe, she saw with some excitement. Her dad had given her one with Voyager
inside for her tenth birthday, but this one had a house surrounded by trees in
it.
In the very center was a picture. Picking it up, she carefully studied the
older woman surrounded by her family. Who was the woman, she wondered. Beth
thought she faintly resembled her mother, but she wasn’t sure.
"That’s a picture of Shannon O’Donnel and her family. One of your
ancestors," Chakotay said softly from the doorway of his bedroom. Beth
turned, a faraway look in her eyes.
"Shannon?"
"You were to be named for her," Chakotay confirmed her suspicions
as he came closer. Finally, he held out to her the object in his hands.
Beth took the soft leather pouch and smiled in awe. "It’s so
soft," she admired.
"I made it," he admitted. "It’s a medicine bundle. My
ancestors- Our ancestors used them when they went on a vision quest to
meet their spirit guides. In it, things that have a special meaning are placed
to aid us on our journey. Wait," he cautioned as Beth opened her mouth to
speak. "I don’t expect you to want to go on a vision quest. I’m only
giving this to you because of what I’ve already put in it."
Slowly, Beth unbound the leather and spread it out before herself. The star
emblazoned on it immediately caught her attention and her mouth formed a small
‘oh’. There, in the center of the star, was an old comm badge—scratched
and twisted as if melted by heat – but nothing more than an old comm badge.
"It was your mother’s," Chakotay answered the unspoken question
in her eyes. "It’s damaged because we were in a shuttle accident,"
he said taking a deep breath.
Beth ran her index finger over the scratches on the surface. "Thank
you," she finally said realizing she was holding the only object she owned
of her mother’s. Taking a step forward, she wrapped her arms around a startled
captain. "Thank you, Father."
~ * =/\= * ~
Eyes flew open and heart hammered in the darkness of the night. She had been
dreaming of the shuttle accident on the holodeck. It wasn’t real, she reminded
herself. But, a very real shuttle accident had changed her life forever.
Over her bed, stars streaked through the night sky illuminating her room
enough to see the bent and twisted comm badge that still lay on her night stand.
With a sleep-drugged hand, Beth reached over to pick up the object. Dropping
it once on the floor and then again on the bed, she finally grasped it tightly
in her hands as she eyed it closely.
Each comm badge was given a unique set of letters and numbers which visually
identified it. Inside, a variance in the frequency allowed the computer to
determine whose comm badge was whose. But on this one, the numbers that should
have been on the back were rubbed clean away. Gone. Vanished. Probably from the
heat of the shuttle, Beth guessed. Anything that had melted and twisted a piece
of metal this badly could certainly melt a few etchings off of it.
~ * =/\= * ~
Several doors down the hallway, Chakotay sat with a mug of herbal tea as he
admired the stars zipping past his view port. The dinner had gone well, he
thought. He and Beth had talked of trivial topics, but the conversation had been
a steady stream, for which he was thankful. After their first few breakfasts
which had been in nearly or complete silence, Chakotay had feared he and his
daughter would have nothing to talk of, save the weather in the holodeck. But,
he’d been proven wrong.
His next fear was that this wouldn’t last. Next week, his instincts warned
him, she might turn against him once again and they’d be back to sector 1.
But, something in his heart told him otherwise. They had time on their side this
time. Beth had accused him and then accepted the lie he, Seven, and Harry had
worked so hard to hide from her all these years. And, despite his insistence
that she never know who her father was, he was glad she had finally begun to
accept him as her father.
"You’d be proud of her, Kathryn," Chakotay said to no one. The
picture of his wife that he adored was in his room, beside the bed. After B’Elanna’s
attempt so many years ago to get Chakotay out of his quarters (or to at least
redecorate them) he had moved the large, smiling picture of Kathryn from the
main room.
"She’s definitely your daughter," he laughed. "But, I think
she has a little of me in her too."
Epilogue
Far away, several thousand light years behind Voyager, a former prisoner in a
worn uniform huddled over the helm station of a tiny vessel nicknamed Freedom.
Two days ago, information about an Intrepid vessel had been collected from
a people known as the Lujerons. With a hunch that these people were not to be
trusted, the sole occupant of the Freedom had feared the Lujerons would attempt
to seize her stolen vessel Thankfully, those fears had been unfounded as the
only crewmember of the ship joined the Lujerons in discussing methods for
obtaining command over the ship known as Voyager. Valuable information about the
starship trying to reach the Alpha Quadrant had been gained. Theorized flight
plans as well as tactical information had been given in exchange for several
kilos of mineral deposits from another planet three light years away.
Now, setting the ship to autopilot, the pilot/captain/engineer/tactical
officer moved to the lower deck of her ship. It wasn’t much, she knew, and it
was nothing compared to the splendor of Voyager. But, slaves running from the
prison camps of the Awaxiels couldn’t be choosy. So, she had taken what was
available and barely escaped with her life.
There were only two decks comprising the ship capable of sustaining four
people for indefinitely long voyages. The command center and ‘dining room’
were on the upper deck with the captain’s quarters and the crew quarters were
below.
The quarters the lonely officer had chosen were beside engineering and only a few steps away from the ladder to the command center. If the autopilot’s klaxons were to pierce the night with news of an attack, engineering would have navigational control and tactical access rerouted almost immediately. With that assurance, the former prisoner laid down on the narrow bunk and closed her blue-gray eyes as she drifted into a deep slumber.
~ * =/\=* ~
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