Bottom of the Totem Pole

By: Jennica Williams

Disclaimor: Paramount owns the orginal episode, "Night," written by Brannon Braga and Joe Menosky.

*Note: I call this an episode addition only because you need to have seen the ep (or read a good spoiler) in order to fully understand it. :) Honestly, it could be considered just another story due to the new story line and twist I added to it.

Captain Janeway silently brushed a tear away as they entered the vast expanse of millions of star systems. Harry was right-- it did look alive. More alive than the void had. More alive than the void would be in ten years. Taking a deep breath, she stood and turned to Chakotay.

"You have the bridge, Commander." She told him before making her way back to the turbolift.

Tom watched her go. She was going to lock herself in her quarters again. He just knew it.

Janeway did go straight back to her quarters. She was grateful they had reached the other side, but another side of her was kicking herself.

How could she have been so stupid? How could she have given up so easily? Millions and millions of people were going to die. Because of her. Yes, she had stopped Emck from using the vortex as a short cut, but the theta radiation was still spread thickly through out the void. The aliens would die.

Wouldn't it had been better for her to stay behind and help them find a cure? After all, she was a scientist. She had helped the Doctor before in sickbay from the scientist's angle.

Now, Kathryn stripped off her jacket and pinned her comm badge to her shirt before standing in front of the stars. Large pink and blue dust clouds swirled around each other. Each of them hid millions of clusters of stars and planets and worlds where people lived. Was it fair that for her crew to survive another had to die?

Kathryn nearly laughed at herself. For four years she had been kicking herself about her decision with the Caretaker's array and when she's given the opportunity to help her crew more than the aliens- she has regrets.

"A woman of many regrets." She muttered at the stars placing her hands on her hips. That perfectly described her. In the Tau Ceti system with her father and Justin. She regretted not trying to save at least one of them before they had slipped beneath the icy waters. That incident had haunted her ever since-- and would until she died.

On board her first mission as a commander, she had sent three officers to a volcanic planet. That too had ended with regrets. At least they hadn't died-- just seriously injured.

Then, she had encountered the Caretaker's array. Oh, she wanted to please everyone- especially Starfleet when they found out she had secured peace with another race-- but had it been worth it? Were seventy years on the other side of the quadrant worth it? For her maybe, but what of her crew? They'd had no say.

Now, she was faced with yet another regret. Leaving a race of people to die just so her crew would be two years closer to home. How would she live with this one? Was it worth it? How could she captain a ship with the knowledge that an entire civilazation would die because she got caught up in the loyalty her crew had shown for her?

Simple. She wouldn't. With a tight face, Kathryn crossed her arms over her chest. She had told Chakotay she trusted him more than anyone else. He'd said he was ready to captain the ship. True, he had had no intention of allowing her to get that far, but this time he woudlnt' have a choice.

Making the decision, Kathryn calmly walked over to her console. "Computer, display records for Janeway, Captain Kathryn M and Chakotay, Commander." A soft bleep acknowledge her as the soft grey screen jumped to her bidding. "Enter in Commander Chakotay's file that I am granting him full access to everything on the ship at a captain's level." A blue and grey box flashed on the screen. Taking a deep breath, she pressed her thumb print to it.

"Clearance level four granted for Chakotay, Commander." The computer replied.

"Good." Kathryn turned away from the screen. Chakotay would have to do the rest now. Tapping her comm badge, she called the bridge and asked him to come to her quarters.

Placing herself in front of the view port again, she watched the stars as she waited for him. It would be over. She would be free of the duties and the guilt that went with it.

"Come." She answered softly as the computer beeped to let her know he was there.

"Captain?" Chakotay stepped into the dimly lit interior and was instantly reminded of his being there only hours before when she had asked if he was ready to take command of the ship.

"Come in." She turned to him, the stars casting a soft glow over her visage.

"Decide to accept that game of velocity?" he teased.

"No."

Chakotay instantly became alarmed at the expressions on her face. Or rather, the lack of them. "What is it, Kathryn? What's wrong?" He didn't think about it as he moved forward to grasp her by the forearms and peer into her eyes. "Tell me." He implored.

"Chakotay, earlier today you said you were ready to command Voyager."

He dropped his hands from her. "No, we've already been through this. There's no reason for you to be talkign like this now."

Kathryn reached a hand up to her collar and pulled the four pips off. "I'm giving you command." She held his eyes as she picked up his limp hand and closed his fingers around the pips. "Do good, Captain. I know you'll do better than I."

"What are you talking about?!" Chakotay tried to push the pips back at her, but she refused.

"Hear me out." She begged turning away from him. "I've had many regrest building up since I began my career. And, we just added to them." Feeling the tears prick at her eyes, she turned to him. "Do you realize that those people are going to die of theta radiation poisoning? If I had stayed, I may have been able to help them. I'm a scientist, Chakotay! I should have done something! But, I got caught up in the loyalty the crew had for me. And now,....an innocent race will pay for my stupidity."

"Kathryn, you were hardly stupid. We can't go around saving each and every race that needs help. If we did, we'd never leave a sector within fifteen years." Chakotay touched her face briefly. "The crew needs you. You can't walk out on us now."

"I'm not walking out, Chakotay. I'm simply requesting a shifting of positions. Put me down in the mess hall with Neelix--"

"You can't cook." Chakotay tried to hide a smile at that one. "Remember who did all the cooking on New Earth?"

"I can if I need to." She retorted. "Fine, put me in astrometrics. I can help Seven. Or even assign me to menial everyday tasks. Just something away from the bridge."

"And you consider this not walking out?"

"Yes, I do. Without the duties and appearance I had to keep up as a captain, I can be free to enjoy interaction with the crew." She looked down for a moment. "Even form real friendships."

"Thanks." Chakotay muttered taking a step back.

"No! Chakotay, I'm sorry." Her hand reached out to his arm. "I didn't mean it like that. I told you I trust you more than anyone on this ship-- and you are my best friend."

The corners of his mouth turned up a little. "I know." He looked away for a moment. "You still can't give up your position though."

"Yes, I can." She reached a hand out and guided him to her console. "I need for you to tell the computer to restrict my access to whatever level you deem appropriate. I've already given you captain's level clearance."

"I can't do that."

"You can, Chakotay." She raised her chin at him. "I'm ordering you to do it."

Chaktoay looked down at the four gold pips in his hand. "I don't believe you have the proper authority to order me around anymore." He whispered before turning on his heel and walking through the door.

"Where's the captain?" Tom asked dropping into his seat around the conference table.

"That's why I've called this meeting," Chaktoay answered from where he stood behind Janeway's chair.

"Is she okay?" Neelix worridly inquired.

"Yes, phsically nothing is wrong with her." Chakotay waited a few more seconds as everyone settled into place. "However, she's blaming herself that an entire race will be exterminated because of Emck's foolishness."

"That's silly." B'Elanna scoffed. "What could she have done?"

"She thinks she could have stayed and helped them find a cure.

"She's a scientist, not a doctor." The hologram reminded everyone from his place in sickbay. "She would have been about as much help to them as I would be in navigation."

"That doesn't matter. What matters is what she feels. And what she's doing to cope with it."

Tom glanced up at Chaktoay. "Isolating herself again?"

"No." Chakotay brought a hand from where it had been hidden behind his back and dropped the contents of it on the conference table. "She resigned."

Dead silence followed as the seven senior officers started in horror at the four shiney pips scattered across the table. 'Quiet enough to hear a torpedo fire from a ship fifteen light years away,' Chakotay mused.

"She can't!" Harry was the first to exclaim. "What'll that do to the rest of us?!"

"She's already installed me as captain, and Tuvok as a first officer." Chakotay replied evenly. "It's her choice. And, until she's ready to come back-- if ever-- I'll stand behind her." He looked around the conference room slowly. "Janeway has requested for me to assign her to a lower crew duty and once I find one for her, she'll be working under the command of one of you. I expect for her to be treated as everyone else is. Understand?"

Tom caught the twinkle in Chakotay's eye. "Oh, we understand all right, Captain." He grinned. "We understand perfectly."

"Good." Chakotay glanced around at their wide grins. "Dismissed."

He bent over to gather the pips laying on the desk. When he stood, only B'Elanna was left.

"I'd like to request that you put her in engineering, sir." She bit her lip to hide a smile. "I've got a number of diagnostics that really do need to be run, but we just don't have time for them. A few days of them, and she'll be begging to be captain again."

"I'll think about it." Chakotay grinned.

"How are you doing today, Captain?"

"Oh, just wonderful." Kathryn smiled charmingly at Chakotay as he took her arm. "It's great to finally feel free."

"Can I walk you to the messhall?"

"How can I resist?" she teased back as he bestowed his gorgeous dimples on her.

The doors to the turbolift closed behind them with a soft swish. Chakotay's hands moved from her arm to slide around her waist as he pulled her against him.

"Something about you...." he murmered a teasing kiss brushing over her lips. Suddenly, the turbolift's comm system issued a loud screeching noise.

Kathryn attempted to burrow further in her covers against the screeching chronometer. "No," she murmered. "Stop chronometer....Just a few minutes longer...."

Kathryn glanced around the tiny compartment. "I think everything's safe now."

"Good." Chakotay moved closer to her. "Where were we?"

"Right about here....." she whispered pulling his mouth down to hers.

"Bridge to Janeway."

She did her best to ignore the voice calling through a haze. It was probably so hazing because Chakotay's kiss was making her lightheaded.

"Bridge to Janeway." The comm system insisted.

"Chakotay to Janeway, please respond."

Jolted out of her dream, Kathryn sat straight up in bed. "Janeway here." She snapped into the comm system slightly unnerved that the one in her dreams had actually woken her.

"Did you forget what today is?"

Today? What was he talking--

"Shoot! I'm on my way!!" Leaping out of bed, Kathryn showered and dressed in record time. It was her first day as a hand in engineering. And B'Elanna was going to kill her for being late!

Ten minutes later, Kathryn skidded into engineering to find B'Elanna handing out instructions to a group of young ensigns.

"Janeway!" B'Elanna's sharp snap caused Kathryn to jerk her head in the chief's direction.

"Yes?"

"You're late."

"I know." Kathryn hesitated. "I'm sorry." It felt odd to be apoligizing. It was odd to have someone in authority over her.

"I won't tolerate tardiness of my officers." Torres continued. "You'll stay for an extra hour after shift is over."

"Yes, ma'am."

B'Elanna nearly cracked a smile but forced herself not to. Reaching over her cluttered desk, she retrieved a small item and dropped it in the palm of Kathryn's hand.

"What's this?" Janeway asked looking at it oddly.

"It's a pip. Jr. Ensign level. If you work at it, you may work up to a Jr. Lieutenant. If you work hard."

Kathryn shrugged, but clipped it to her collar.

Torres rummaged on the desk for another item and came up with a data padd. "I want for you to go over each power relay in jeffries tube 37 and make sure they're in perfect working order. Make them down with notes as you go. I'll expect it on my desk by 1400 hours."

Kathryn looked down at the padd as B'Elanna turned away. She knew her ship. There were over two thousand power relays-- in the first junction! And there were seven junctions!

Five hours later, Janeway was still hunched over power relay #1478 in junction 3. Groaning, she placed a hand to her back. Being hunched over in a jeffries tube was not how she expected to spend her days. Well, at least she was free from making decisions that could wreck her crews' life, she figured.

Attempting to straighten out her back only resulted in a sharp blow to the head from the top of the tube. Glancing down either end of the jeffries tube, Janeway resulted for stretching out on the floor and trying to straighten out her back that way.

Picking up her microrelay scanner again, Kathryn began running it over the power relays. It only took a couple of seconds per relay, but there were so many! She would be here for the entire next day too.

After ten long hours in the jeffries tube, Ensign Janeway was allowed to return to her quarters. She was looking forward to a long soak in her bath tub in hopes of removing the knots in her back.

"About time you got back." Chakotay muttered drowsily from where he was stretched out on her couch with his feet propped over the end.

"Can I help you?" she asked sharply, nerves still raw from doing the same task over and over for ten hours.

"What's wrong?" Chakotay opened his eyes and looked up at her.

"Nothing." She took a seat in the chair opposite him.

Two feet hit the floor with a dull thud as Chakotay swung his legs down. "Bad day, Ensign?" he teased.

She glared at him.

He laughed but came to stand behind her chair. His hands on her shoulders worked to ease the tension and knots as he forced her to relax. "You're tense. What happened?"

"I was in a jeffries tube scanning each power relay." She muttered dropping her head down as she relaxed under his touch.

"Definatly a bad day." He chuckled.

"Thanks." She smiled up at him as he stepped into her view again. "I guess I needed that."

"B'Elanna requested to have you down there, you know." Chakotay smiled taking his seat again. "She mentioned she needed someone's help to run simple diagnostics. Apparently two months with nothing to do and they still didn't get them all done. I had no idea she was going to be that harsh though."

"Revenge for all I've put her through." Kathryn pulled her boots off and leaned back in her chair. "I suppose I deserve it though."

"Still feeling guilty?"

"I'll feel guilty until the day I die."

"You shouldn't."

"Why not? I'm the one whose been the cause for so much grief amoung the crew." Kathryn rose and went to her viewport. Running a hand along her collar, she felt an ache at only the one pip her fingers brushed over. "It's no wonder B'Elanna assigned me to work alone all day today. The rest of the crew would probably kill me if they thought they could get away with it. If nothing else, now that I'm on an equal level with them, they'd send snide remarks and verbal assults at me."

"That's not true, and you know it." Chakotay snapped standing a few feet away from her.

She turned sharply and looked up at him. "Isn't it?"

Chakotay sighed. "Look, that's not why I came here tonight." A teasing smile flitted over his visage. "I still have those three hours saved up on the holodeck. Want to play a few games of velocity?"

Kathryn flashed him a smile of her own. "Well, Captain. No one can accuse you of not being persistent." She laughed. "I have to turn it down tonight, though. I'm exhausted and just need to go to bed."

Chakotay nodded, the disappointment shining in his eyes. "Another time then."

"Another time." She smiled at him as he left.

The next morning greeted Kathryn promptly at 0500. Jumping out of bed despite still being dead tired, she hurried to shower and dress before running down to the mess hall. In due time she would give up her quarters, but Chakotay had soundly refused to allow her at the present time. According to him, the crew was confused enough with her change of jobs- they didn't need to be walking around their own quarters on tiptoe.

Running a hand through her hair quickly, Ensign Janeway moved from her quarters to the turbolift. She would have to hurry if she wanted any coffee before she was to be on duty.

"Good morning, ensigns." She greeted a small group of young men and women. "Early shift?"

"Yes, Capt-...err..ma'a-....uh... yes." Mariah Henley stumbled.

"Kathryn." She smiled at them. "I'm only an ensign now."

"Oh, I couldn't!" Henley exclaimed.

Janeway hid back a snort of laughter. "Mind if I join you?"

Matt Swearingon, an ensign from stellar cartography kicked out a chair. "Have a seat."

Janeway blinked, slightly startled, but took the seat with her coffee. "Don't let me interrupt your conversation. I'm anxious to hear what's going on around the ship."

A few nodded at her, two others looked down at their plates, one Vulcan raised an eyebrow.

"I can't take it much longer!" B'Elanna burst out in way of opening the senior staff meeting.

Tom let out a snort of laughter. "Captain gettin' to ya, Darlin'?" he drawled.

"Yes." She seethed back at him before turning to the acting captain. "It's been two weeks and she's driving me crazy, Chakotay! I give her a task, she finishes it in record time. I assign her to clean the plasma coils, she does it without complaining. I tell her to work with someone I've ordered to give her a hard time, she does it without a scene! I know the orders are to make life impossible fore her so she'll come back, but she's not cooperating!"

"The perfect ensign." The Doctor stated from sick bay. "In this case, the perfect nightmare."

Chakotay chuckled. "It appears so." He looked around the table. "Suggestions?"

"Plan B." Harry said.

"Is it logical to assume that we need 'Plan B." Tuvok asked. "She may tire of these endless chores after a few weeks."

"I say let's do it." Tom stated. "We need her back now. Not in a few weeks."

"I'm with Tom," Harry agreed. "Endless chores are meant for the crew men, Tuvok. Not the captain."

"If she was given sufficient time to come to realize that she loves her job, she may be more willing to return." The Doctor countered.

"And until then? Do we allow her to tramp through the jeffries tubes like some crewman?" Harry leaned forward. "No offense sir," he nodded to Chakotay. "But, you don't belong in that chair anymore than I do. Janeway does. She's the one who should be running the ship."

Chakotay nodded. "I agree, Harry." He took a deep breath. "Proceed with Plan B. Schedule it for tomorrow at 1600 hours. Dismissed."

"When did you find your nerve, Harry?" Tom asked as they left the room.

"Stuff it, Lieutenant." Harry grinned.

Kathryn turned around the corner of corridor fifteen on deck eleven. She was going to be late if she didn't hurry.

"Kathryn!"

Stopping in her tracks, she turned to find her best friend jogging towards her.

"Captain." She greeted him with a smile. They hadn't seen each other for a couple days, and she realized she missed him.

"Ensign." His eyes sparkled down at her. "I've talked to B'Elanna, and she's agreed to let you off at 1500 hours today so we can use up those holodeck hours I was saving."

She shook her head with a smile. "You are persistent."

"I miss my best friend." He grinned easily. "Holodeck one at 1500."

"Is that an order?"

"Only if I have to make it one."

She raised an eyebrow and turned on her heel.

"I'm not done with you yet, Ensign!"

Glancing over her shoulder, she stopped. "Yes?"

He raised an eyebrow to communicate without words.

She merely laughed at what he was saying. 'I expect you there. I'm going to win this game one of these days.'

"I'll be there, Captain."

The title still sent shivers down Chakotay's spine. Her title. Her title being used by her for him. It wasn't a feeling he relished. Hopefully, in a few hours it would be over.

"How do you like your new post?"

Kathryn glared at Chakotay. "I hate it. And I deserve every minute of it."

"No, you haven't done anything to merit this. You've worked hard..and then requested a demotion. It doesn't make sense because you certainly don't deserve it."

"I've destroyed too many people's dreams. Do you want to play or should I leave?"

Chakotay stared at her for a minutes. "Computer, activate game. Velocity. Level three."

He squeezed his phaser in his hands as he and Kathryn took the customary stance. Whoosh! The silver disk flew by his head as Kathryn's yellow stream of energy hit it. He dropped to the floor and rolled to his left. Raising the phaser, he shot it. Kathryn ducked as it whizzed by her head. Aiming, she hit the target and watched as Chakotay jumped up to return fire. Spinning on her heels, Janeway just barely skimmed the top of the silver object, but it was enough to change it's course. Chakotay watched as it rose higher through the holodeck. Jumping up as hard as he could, he caught it square in the top and altered its course back down to the floor. In doing so, he plunged to the floor and landed in a heap. It was this heap Kathryn tripped over as she took a step backwards to get a better aim. Still tangled with her captain, she blindly reached out and shot at the target. Chakotay couldn't move- Kathryn had his arms pinned.

"Score one Janeway, zero Chakotay." The computer announced as the disk vanished.

"Not fair!" Chakotay bellowed as Kathryn rolled off of him.

"Quite fair," she laughed. "I managed to foil your attempt to trip me."

"Harumph." He grinned at her. "Computer, continue game."

An hour later, both were sweating and in higher spirits than they had been in three months. Anytime now guys, Chakotay thought to himself ducking from the silver disk. Anytime and you can implement Plan B.

As Kathryn rolled across the floor to hit the target, the floor beneath them shuddered. Her eyes flew to Chakotay's.

"Computer, end program!" They both snapped out.

"We've been hit." Kathryn added.

"I think I know that by now." Chakotay muttered tossing his phaser to the side. "Computer, display arc." Both dashed out an into the hallway. "Get to engineering, tell B'Elanna to contact the bridge." Chakotay told her before turning and running down the hall. It was time to see how Tom's greatest masterpiece worked.

When Kathryn entered engineering, she found it a mess of ruptured power coils and fuel injectant. Pushing past a lieutenant hunched over an open panel, she ran for the nearest console.

"Janeway! Over here!" Torres' shout made her turn.

"I need you to get warp drive back online." B'Elanna snapped handing her a tricorder and repair kit. "Now!"

"Contact the bridge." She called back as B'Elanna moved away. Kneeling beside the warp drive, she ran the tricorder over it. According to the tricorder, an EPS conduit had ruptured. Pulling the hardware off she stared at the maze of intricate wiring and coils that encased the powerhouse of their energy supply. It shouldn't be to hard to fix, she decided reaching for the repair kit.

At that moment, the hull of her ship shuddered again. She didn't even realize her slip in referring to Voyager as her ship as she quickly calculated where they'd been hit. Port shield, deck four. She was powerless to help from her position on the floor of engineering-- except by getting warp drive online faster.

Grabbing the microfuser, she quickly got to work.

"Are you done yet?" B'Elanna demanded from over her shoulder. "Chakotay wants warp drive now!"

"A few more minutes!" Kathryn brushed a sweaty clump of hair out of her face as she fought for her footing. What was going on up there , anyways!? If she had been on the bridge- no. Don't think like that, Janeway. It's not your bridge anymore, she scolded herself.

"Done, Chief." She leaned back on her heels and admired the work.

"Get over to jeffries tube twenty six. We've got a severed power coupling that needs to be repaired!" B'Elanna replied.

Kathryn sighed as she repacked her repair case and stood up.

"Now!" Torres barked.

"Yes ma'am!" Kathryn escaped engineering in a jog. Rounding the first corner, she blinked. Hadn't Ensign Wilner and Lieutenant Brackwell dented the wall while joking around one afternoon? She recalled walking past it as the two women were doing repairs on it. The injury to the wall could hardly be seen, but there was still a small place where the two corners met that wasn't quite as smooth as the rest. This wall before her didn't show any indication that it had ever been smashed at one point.

Shrugging, she continued at a jog through the halls. Suddenly, she felt the ship shudder underneath her body as she rolled into a wall. She judged it to be a low level phaser burst on the starboard side, deck fourteen. Instinctively, her hand drifted to her comm badge to tap it. At the last minute, she remembered that she had no right. Darn! This was awful!

Kathryn hated being in the dark and wondered how the rest of the crew dealt with it. Pulling herself back to her feet, she continued to run to jeffries tube twenty six. Something wasn't quite right, she thought as she passed two crew members.

Lieutenant Vek! What was he doing out of sickbay!? He'd been injured in a fire that morning. Unfortunately, it hadn't been too honorable. Neelix's breakfast had caught fire and Vek had put it out with his sleeves. The Doctor had ordered him to rest, but here he was. Without any indication he had been in sickbay only hours before.

Kathryn shook her head. She was going mad. Glancing at a control panel, she briefly wondered what she'd find behind it. She had a sneaking suspicion it wasn't going to be wires and conduits. Kneeling, she began to pry it off with her hands. It was stuck fast. Pulling a small, but durable wedge from her kit, she managed to force the panel off.

What was behind it, she could only stare in horror at. The black and yellow grid of the holodeck cheerfully greeted her.

Chakotay found Janeway in the mess hall sitting idly with a cup of cold coffee in her hands as she stared out at the stars streaking past.

"Still mad?" he asked hesitantly standing rigidly with his hands behind his back. After she had figured out their little scheme, she'd been livid for two days. This evening, of the third, he was braving her temper.

"Hmm? A little." She admitted glancing up at him. "Have a seat."

"Thanks." Chakotay pulled out the chair and sat down across from her. "I know you've got every right to be angry, but-"

"But nothing, Chakotay." Kathryn set the coffee down and clasped her hands together. "The crew should have respected my wishes instead of trying to force me to feel something that wasn't really happening."

"So, you did feel something akin to pain when your ship was being hurt?"

"Of course I did!"

"Then take your position back. We're all tired of playing games. We want you back."

"It's not that easy." Kathryn muttered. "I've ruined so much in the past four years. I don't want to mess something up again."

"Tell me, what would happen if you cut the casing of the antimatter injector coils?"

"It'd explode and engineering would be filled with antimatter."

"What if, while you were busy pinpointing exactly where a phaser or torpedo hit the ship, you accidentally did that?"

Kathryn jerked her head up.

"Oh, don't play dumb with me, Kathryn." Chakotay grinned at her. "I don't serve with someone for four years and not know them. You know exactly where we've been hit before Harry does. You're more in tune with the ship than anyone I know. I think you ask him to report just for the rest of us."

"That won't happen." Kathryn muttered playing with the handle of her coffee mug.

"Never say never, Kathryn. If nothing else, we've learned that from being out--"

Both jerked their heads up to look at each other as the deck shuddered under their feet.

"This isn't a drill or holodeck simulation." Chakotay choked out jumping to his feet. "Get to engineering!"

"Aft, deck fifteen!" she called out as they dashed out of the mess hall.

Neither looked back as the coffee mug slid to the floor and shattered.

Engineering resembled what it had in the simulation. Billows of water vapor were escaping from a damaged coil and quickly filling the ceiling with it. As it cooled, it condensed on the glass of the warp core.

That was about the only thing that was organized. Everyone else was shouting and trying to run things their own way. The main console had a thin stream of smoke wafting from it. B'Elanna, she saw, was lying face up on the floor. A nasty cut spread from her jawbone to her forehead.

"Janeway to sickbay." She shouted tapping her comm badge and pushing a lieutenant out of the way. "One for emergency beam out!" She watched as Torres shimmered out of engineering and then glanced up at the confused crew members. Vorik was next in command, but he looked downright terrified at the idea of taking over. As terrified as a Vulcan could, at least.

Well, someone had to do it! Stepping to a console, Janeway pulled up the damage the computer was already listing. "Vorik! Get down up to deck five, jeffries tube sixteen. We've got a power coupling ruptured. I need it fixed so we can get warp drive up and running again. Vek, deck ten, section 21B. There's a hull breech in progress. Take a team and stabilize it. Brackwell, the aft shield is buckling. Restablize it!" Janeway watched as the power fluctuated dangerously low in sickbay. Waving a hand across her face to move the smoke, she turned to the nearest crew member. "Ayala! Reroute power from the mess hall to sickbay." She snapped out turning back to the console. "Lang, see if you can stop that water vapor! I don't need it interfering with warp drive."

"Bridge to engineering."

She bit back a smart remark as yet another hull breech showed up on sensors.

"Janeway here."

"Where's B'Elanna?" Chakotay asked concerned.

"Sickbay. Injured." Janeway turned to Pablo Baytart. "Ensign, get the hull breech on in cargo bay one stopped."

"And you've taken charge." Chakotay's grin echoed through his words.

"Can I help you, Captain?" Janeway asked stiffly.

"Yeah, I need aft shields."

Kathryn snorted in disgust. "I've got a crew on it, but it'll be nearly ten minutes."

"You've got five. Work a miracle, Kathryn." Chakotay told her as Voyager shook with another hit.

"Sure. Janeway out. Kyoto, deck twelve, jeffries tube thirty seven. We've got a power coupling that was just severed."

The young woman nodded once and grabbed the kit before throwing open a hatch. It would be faster for her to take the jeffries tube.

Kathryn glanced at her console and saw that everything had been taken care of-- until the next hit. Crawling under it, she decided to take a look at whatever was causing the smoke to wisp out of it. Inside the panel, she found a smoldering wire. Luckily, a little of the fire resistant cream in her med. kit took care of it and the filament only carried information to and from the holodecks.

"Captain, we've got a small fire in jeffries tube eighteen." Wilner told Janeway as she peered at the console. "I'm on it."

Kathryn slid out from under the console. "Thanks, Andria." She told the girl as she watched her dash to the nearest hatch opening.

"We've got shields back up!"

Picking herself up off the ground, Janeway tapped her comm badge. "Shields are up again, Captain."

"I can see that." Chakotay answered quickly. "Thanks. Bridge out."

Looking around at the diminishing smoke and steam, Kathryn felt a sense of pride and yearning wash over her. It felt good to be in command of something again. Even if it was as small as one department out of eleven.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

Kathryn opened her eyes from where she had curled up on her sofa. It was after duty hours for her. Why was he calling her? Tapping the comm badge, she answered with a sleepy, "Hmmm?"

"Sorry to wake you," he chuckled. "Can you come to the ready room?"

"Be right there." Running a hand through her hair, she figured she didn't look too bad. She still had the faint odor of fried wires in her hair and clothes, but that was to be expected after a battle. B'Elanna had come to enough staff meetings reeking of the stench of burnt metals that it was expected.

Stepping out of the turbolift, she entered the bridge for the first time since they'd left the void. She tried to hide her awkwardness as she stared at the view screen. The view had changed, but it's beauty had not. The same swirls of pink and yellow and blue greeted her. A different pattern now, but still the same various colors of the rainbow she had come to associate with the world in which they lived.

Moving from the upper level, she calmly walked down the ramp to the ready room and rang the door chime. The door slid open almost immediately for her.

"Come in." Chakotay stood up from behind the desk and moved to the front. "I wanted to thank you for stepping in earlier."

"Anyone would have done it." Janeway replied. "I was just doing my job. As they were."

Chakotay rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Exactly. Just doing your job. Admit it Kathryn, your 'job' is to be in command of a crew. I could hear the frustration in your voice at not knowing what was going on up here. Which, I might add was a complete misunderstanding. Some aliens mistook our warp signature for the one of their enemies. But, I could hear the pleasure you took in giving out orders again."

"No such thing." Kathryn dropped her eyes to the ground.

"Don't lie to me, of all people." He moved a step closer to her. "I thought you said that of all people on this ship, you trust me the most."

"I do."

"Then trust me when I say the crew needs you back in the big chair."

"I can't. I don't deserve--"

"Kathryn!" Two hands gripped her shoulders and forced her to look up. "You do deserve it. The senior staff members aren't the only ones complaining about you being in engineering instead of up here. We've had complaints come in from almost every crew member that things aren't how they used to be."

"But, I've ruined this crews' future!" She burst out pulling from his grip. "I've destined them for a life away from everything they know and love!"

"That's not true." Chakotay answered evenly. "At first, yes, they may have blamed you. But now- this ship, this crew, this life-- this is what they know and love. And if you tried to take it away from any of them..." Chakotay chuckled. "I'd hate to see the fight they put up." Reaching for her hand, he slipped four golden pips he'd been hiding on his desk into it. "You've got to take the position back-"

"I don't. I can't." She tried to push the pips back at him.

"You have to." Chakotay told her. "I don't want it anymore. I've talked with the rest of the senior staff. Everyone is behind me. You stay at the bottom of the totem pole, and we're all coming down with you. Everyone. Everyone on this ship has agreed that if you refuse to be captain, we're all refusing it. Where would a ship with nearly one hundred fifty crew members and no one to lead them be?"

Kathryn swallowed hard. She would not cry. No matter how touching the situation, she would not cry. "They all want me?" she asked in a disbelieving voice. "Chakotay, that's not possible. They blame me."

"We're going to blame you if you don't put those four pips back on your collar."

She stared long and hard at the four pips winking back up at her. The crew wanted her, but was she wise enough to lead them again? Or would her unconventional ways simply put them at risk again?

"Good decision." Chakotay said softly removing the black pip attached to her collar.

"I didn't say anything!" she protested.

"Yes, you did." He laughed taking a gold one and fastening it to her collar. "Your eyes said it all. You want it back."

"I...." she looked up at him as he continued to affix the pips to her collar. "I do want it." She admitted. "But, what if my unorthodox methods get us in trouble again?"

"Then, we're all behind you to back you up and help get it fixed." Chakotay took a step back and admired the pips back in place. "Perfect, if I may say so myself."

She shook her head and smiled at him. "Where would I be without you?"

"Probably still in the Alpha Quadrant and free of guilt."

She glanced sharply at him due to his tone of voice. "I really don't mind, you know." She smiled up at him as her hand drifted to touch her collar. "If we hadn't been stranded out here, I would never have met my best friend."