Telling Secrets

By: Jennica Williams

This is an episode addition (my first!) to "Unforgettable." I know it's kind of late to write one, but the idea hit me and I had to write it.

Disclaimor: Paramount wrote the script, filmed the episode, and [much to the dismay of fans all over the world] aired the show. They own it, I'm just here to "fix" it for them. No copyright infringement is intended. And, I seriously doubt they'd want this.

Chakotay leaned against the counter in the mess hall. It was getting late, but Neelix had come in and started talking to him. Three hours later, they were still talking about the crews' moral and the routines of the past few days.

"Well, Commander," Neelix bit back a yawn. "I think it's time for me to turn in."

Chakotay nodded. "Myself also. Computer, time?"

"The time is oh three hundred hours."

"Definatly past my bed time." The round Talaxian said through a haze of sleep that was already washing over him.

"I'll see you in the morning, Neelix." Chakotay turned back to look in the mess hall. Why had he come here at this hour of the evening? He couldn't remember.

Allowing the doors to swish shut behind him, the first officer never noticed the sheaf of papers he'd left lying on a table.

Kathryn awoke in her bed with a start. "Computer, time."

"The time is oh-four hundred hours."

Sighing, she leaned back into her fluffy pillows. What had woken her up so quickly? she wondered.

Certainly not a bad dream. She'd not had a dream in ages. Not one that she could remember-- she knew that technically she had to dream in order to get a night's rest.

Propping her head in her chin she stared at the stars outside her window. They were traveling at a low warp, so she could make out the individual streaks as opposed to a massive blur that was evident at the higher warps. They were so pretty, she couldn't help but think to herself. Then again, what did this have to do with sleep?? Flopping on her back, Kathryn resolved to get a decent night's sleep or die trying.

An hour later, she figured she might as well be dead. Sleep was evading her like worm holes evaded their sensors. Pulling a uniform on, Janeway meandered through the halls of her ship hoping to wear herself into exhaustion. Finding herself in front of the mess hall doors, she wondered if a glass of warm milk, an old Earth remedy, might do the trick.

A patch of white against the dark interior caught the captain's attention as she strode briskly into the room. Reaching down, she picked up the old-fashioned bundle of papers and furrowed her brow at the ancient writing utensil. If memory served her right, it was called a pen. But, who would be using a pen and paper as opposed to a data padd? Glancing down at the script, she knew who was the author. It was Chakotay's hand writing. True, she'd never seen it before, but the sturdy scrawl of the letters and the firm indentations on the paper told her instantly who the author was.

Intending to roll the papers together and return them to their owner, Kathryn, who had never had much experience with real paper despite her parents' traditional teachings, dropped the bundle on the floor and watched helplessly as they fanned out. Hastily, she began to snatch up the sheets with disregard to what they said. One word caught her attention after she had collect the third sheet. Her name-- Kathryn.

Whatever could Chakotay be writing on paper about her? Feeling slightly guilty, she scanned the line.

I know that Kathryn will forgive me for my stupidity, but can I forgive myself? The pain that I saw flash through her eyes was enough to tear me apart, but I ignored it.

What was he talking about?? He had hurt her? When? Well, no bother. She shouldn't be reading his private thoughts. Shuffling the papers back into the correct order, she attempted to roll them together. But, the first line caught her attention before she could.

In a few hours, you'll remember nothing of this.

What in the world was he talking about?! Shoving aside feelings of guilt, Kathryn marched herself to her ready room and curled up on her sofa with a cup of strong coffee. If something had occurred which had erased their memories, she needed to know about it.

"If we try a different phase variance on the IPS conduits, I believe I can reduce the amount of power needed to start the warp core." B'Elanna replied to Janeway's question about the status of engineering. They were all present, sitting around the table for the morning briefing. Janeway looked slightly tired to the others, but every one was alert.

"Do it then."

"Ahh, that's the problem." B'Elanna twisted her hands together. "In order for us to reconfigure the phase variance, we have to shut down most of engineering's functions. Warp core, shields, weapons. Possibly even life support for a few minutes."

"We could keep it in the back of our mind and do it at the next available opportunity," Chakotay suggested.

Janeway nodded. "Sounds good. Is there anymore business?," She glanced around the table at all of her senior officers. When no one moved to speak, she continued. "Last night, I found a hand written note by one of our officers."

Tom was instantly alert. Gossip? From the captain!?

"No, Tom," she answered reading his mind. "Not gossip for your rumor mill."

"Captain, I'm insulted you think so little of me," he feigned innocence to which they all chuckled at.

"It appears that an alien race was on the ship for the past couple weeks. I can't estimate the exact dates, but I do know they left yesterday."

"And we didn't know it!?" B'Elanna burst out.

"Contrary, Lieutenant," Janeway raised a hand to her temple to squelch the headache she knew was to come. "We were apparently the perfect hosts."

"How can someone make us forget?" Tom leaned forward in his chair. "It seems that there should be some trace of them."

"What about computer records? There'd have to be a mention of them in the data banks." Harry suggested.

Janeway knew how silly it was going to sound, but she answered it anyways. "None. I've checked all sensor logs from the past two weeks. No mention. But, I really hadn't expected to find one because the note said we wouldn't. Apparently, people's memory and computers can't remember this race. The Doctor even had trouble scanning one of their injured because the tricorder kept 'forgetting' the scans."

"Who is the source?" Tuvok asked. "Would we have reason to believe that they may have forged the account?"

"No." Janeway shook her head. "This came from a very reliable source. One who managed to transfer a few files with minor details changed so they would not be wiped from our computer logs. I looked at them myself this morning. Extremely detailed, but every mention of the species' name or any description was left out. Except for on the paper, one woman was mentioned-- Kellin."

The name had no effect on him, she noticed, as Chakotay folded his hands on the conference table and looked at the captain. "You're saying that there were aliens on here, but they managed to...to wipe our memories?"

"Precisely, Commander." She didn't give any indication that he was the reliable source.

"Where do we go from here?" Harry asked.

"I don't' know that there's anything we can do." Janeway's hand left her temple and made a gesture in the air. "There hasn't been any damage done to the ship, they're gone, and for all common purposes, no one knows they were ever here--save those of us in this room."

"So, we just go on."

"Right, Tom. I don't think there's anything we can do. I just wanted every one to be aware of the situation." She glanced around the table. "Dismissed."

"Thank you, Ensign. I'll give this to the captain." Chakotay took the data padd eager to speak with Kathryn concerning the matter of their erased minds. He just needed the right excuse. As the door slid open to her ready room, Chakotay quickly crossed the threshold and laid the data padd on her desk. "Engineering report."

"Thanks." She grumbled at him, a slight twinkle in her eye.

He nodded as she turned back to her console. "There was more to that letter than you're telling."

Janeway's head snapped up. Did he remember?! But, no. The look on his face indicated that he simply knew she had left details out, not that'd he remembered. "What's that supposed to mean?" She asked hesitantly.

"You're good at hiding things, Kathryn. Just not good enough to fool me. What was in that letter?"

Good gracious. Was she actually going to be put in this position? It was hard enough to have to read about it, but was she now going to be forced to tell Chakotay about his love life? She stood and wandered over to her window. One hand planted itself on her hip as the other massaged the temples.

"Who wrote it?" Chakotay tried again.

"You." She finally answered softly.

"Me?" Chakotay came to stand beside her. "What did I say?"

Janeway turned to face him, but refused to look in his eyes. She stared at his chin instead. "You fell in love with this Kellin woman, but at the same time....you regretted....what I mean is...you hurt....well, your letter said you hurt...."

Chakotay placed his hands on her shoulders. "Let me see the letter," he implored her.

Nodding mutely, Kathryn crossed her ready room and opened the desk drawer. Taking out the sheaf of papers, she handed them to Chakotay and watched as he settled himself down on her couch.

She might as well try to get some work done. Turning back to her console, she flipped it on. But, concentration evaded her. Her eyes kept straying to his bent head. Feeling her eyes on him, Chakotay glanced up with a grim face. Then, he turned his eyes back to the paper. Kathryn finally settled for watching his expressions as he read the letter.

Finally, he folded the papers and laid them on the coffee table. "I'm sorry, Kathryn." He whispered. "I never wanted to hurt you, but it appears I have."

"I remember nothing of it though." She protested. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"Contrary, my captain. I hurt you, the letter says I could hear you crying at night, and I swore to never hurt you. Whether you remember it or not is not the question."

Kathryn took the few steps to sit on the couch beside Chakotay. Laying a hand on his arm, she forced his eyes to meet his. "I'll admit that my stomach turned over at the thought of you with....with....her," she began. "But, I don't want you blaming yourself. It could very well have happened the other way around."

Chakotay looked away and leaned back into the couch. "The fact remains that it didn't."

Janeway leaned back also, their shoulders barely touching. "It doesn't ever have to happen again." She said softly.

Chakotay barely caught the words, but turned to her quickly. "What are you saying?"

Janeway hesitated. She needed to be extremely careful how she phrased the next few sentences. "Mark has gone on with his life," she began. "I no longer have him as a safety net or excuse for becoming involved in a relationship with you. I'm not saying I want to jump right into anything, but I would like to allow our friendship to grow."

"Grow into what?" Chakotay couldn't believe what he was hearing and wanted to make sure he understood her clearly.

"Romance." Janeway swallowed. "Maybe marriage."

His arm slid around the back of the sofa and pulled her closer. For a moment, he simply closed his eyes and buried his face in her short tresses. And, to his amazement, she didn't pull away. In fact, she seemed to press herself further into his shoulder.

Kathryn's arms slid around Chakotay. It had been four years since anyone had held her close in a hug. Why had she waited so long before admitting she needed this?....before admitting she need him.

Slowly releasing her, Chakotay stood and offered her his hand. "Dinner tonight together?"

"As long as it's not a work dinner." She smiled not letting go of his hand.

"Deal."

"I'll see you at 1800 hours, Commander." She leaned over to kiss his cheek quickly. "For now, you'd better get back on the bridge. I hear your captain's a stickler about that."

"Aye, Captain."