Unplanned Beginnings

By: Jennica Williams

DISCLAIMER: I am not using Star Trek for profit. Paramount owns the characters, the ships, the uniforms, the biogel packs, even Neelix's food, I'm just here playing around with the ideas running through my head. No copyright infringement is intended.

*Author's Note: I am a Christian. I'll be very frank and tell you that I don't agree with sex outside of marriage. This is in response to another story I read on the web which I decided could end very differently.

Captain Kathryn Janeway felt an audible sigh slip past her lips as she stepped on the turbolift. For once, everything appeared to be calm on the ship. Merging a Maquis crew and Starfleet crew, two who were taught to hate one another, had been no easy task. She didn't think it would have been possible without the aid of their captain, now her first officer, Chakotay. The Maquis were willing to follow him anywhere, even to follow him in to a Starfleet ship for the next seventy years. He was the bridge between the two crews- once Starfleet, then Maquis, now Starfleet again- and the respect the crews gave him was growing. Not only was the crew's respect growing, but so was Kathryn's. She felt herself relying on her new first officer more and more each day. There hadn't been an episode between the two crews that required her attention in two days- an accomplishment in itself. The last one, between Ensign Pablo Baytart and Mariah Henley, had resulted in the former spending a day in sickbay and the latter being 'escorted' to the brig by Commander Chakotay.

Kathryn unconsciencly slid a hand over her stomach as she entered her quarters. The walls were bare, not lived in. She hadn't wanted to bring much from home because she was intending to return in a few weeks. No one had been aware of it, but the head strong, stubborn captain of Voyager had been entertaining thoughts of leaving Starfleet. Why?, people would ask. Because I want a husband and family. Mark had proposed only days before she had left Earth. If it had been a few months earlier, she may not be in the Delta Quadrant. Instead, she would have been at home wearing civilian clothes. A hand slid over her stomach. One thing wouldn't change. She would still be pregnant.

Oh, it wasn't official yet. Kathryn had only realized what all the signs were pointing at his morning, but she was pretty sure.

"Why?" she moaned curling up on the sofa beside the large window. "Why was I so stupid?"

She knew what the risks were of becoming pregnant. And she had known that a mission would await her in less than a week, but it had been so romantic. The candlelight. The wine. Mark's proposal. The next thing Kathryn remembered was waking up in his bed.

Feeling the tears slide down her face, Janeway suddenly jumped up. She had to know. Now. If she wasn't pregnant- great. But if she was......

The corridors of Voyager were empty at this time of night. Taking no detours, the captain briskly strode into sickbay and called for the doctor's medical program to be brought on-line.

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency." The hologram responded as programmed.

"I need you to run some scans on me, doctor." She answered sliding onto a biobed.

The doctor gave a quick nod and flipped open a nearby medical tricorder. Almost instantly, his eyebrows shot to the top of his quickly balding forehead.

Her heart sank.

"Captain! You haven't eaten in thirty two hours!" he exclaimed. "Or slept in forty-five! How can I expect the rest of the crew to take care of themselves if you won't?"

Relief washed over Kathryn. She wasn't pregnant! Just in bad shape!

"I'm sorry doctor, I'll-"

"Just a minute." He pushed her back onto the biobed. "I believe there is another matter we'll need to discuss."

The blood drained from her face. "Am I...?"

"Seven weeks pregnant? Yes."

She avoided his eyes by looking over to the surgical biobed. Pregnant. The words echoed in her mind. How would she serve as captain with a bulk hindering her? What kind of respect would the crew give her? Placing a hand on her stomach, she silently asked her unborn child to forgive her.

"I want to terminate the pregnancy."

For the second time, the doctor's eyebrows rose. "I'm sorry captain. I can't do that."

"What? Why not?"

"I am a doctor. As part of the Starfleet oath, we pledge to preserve life, not take it away."

"This life hasn't started!"

"But it has." He turned the data padd toward her. "There, you can see the heart beat. It's been pumping blood for three weeks now. And by the end of next week, you'll be able to see her face."

"Her?"

"It's a girl captain." He looked back at her. "That little girl can't defend her life right now, so I'll have to do it for her."

"I could order you to do it."

He eyed her for a minute before replying. "And I could declare you medically unfit to serve as captain for the next seven months."

Taking in his cool, even tone of voice, Janeway knew she was stuck. "I can't have a baby! Not right now. Not with the crews so divided still. What will I do?"

The doctor turned to a computer screen. "I'd suggest a nursery."

It took all of her will power to not delete the insensitive hologram on the spot. "How would you like me to explain this to the crew?"

"I don't know. I'm a doctor, not a counselor. Get married or something. You did want to improve feelings between Maquis and Starfleet, right?"

Commander Chakotay leaned against the bulkhead. No matter what he did, he and B'Elanna managed to argue about who was the winner of the hoverball games. It didn't matter, they knew, but each wanted to win the game. After squabbles with his friends, prowling the decks of his ships had always been the best comfort.

Catching a glimpse of a petite, brunette storming through the corridors of Voyager, Chakotay straightened up. What was the captain doing out at this time of the night? Something must be wrong, he mused. This woman who had captured his ship had captured more- namely his heart- but she didn't know it. Making a quick decision, he followed her.

Kathryn was fast for one with such short legs. Chakotay managed to catch sight of her stopping in the middle of the hall and slamming a fist into the bulkhead before she sped off again. Something was definitely wrong. Running to catch up, he skid to a halt inside her quarters just as the door shut. Chakotay froze. He'd never before entered her quarters, and certainly without her permission. Casting a quick look around, he noted the bareness and then found her silhouette framed in the view port.

"Captain, are you all right?"

She ignored him, but stomped over to a holopicture of herself and a man smiling happily. "I hate him!" she shouted hurling the frame. "I hate Mark! And I hate what he's done to me!"

Chakotay's eyes grew wide as she witnessed the captain burst into tears. They hadn't known each other but for just over a month and in all that time she had never raised her voice in anger. Certainly she had never cried in front a crew member- though he suspected she would cry alone at night.

"Captain?" he took a step toward her. "Kathryn?" That was the first time he'd said her name aloud in her presence. It sounded different to his ears when she was there, but he liked it.

"Commander, please...." a gulp of air helped her finish the sentence. "If it can wait until tomorrow, I'd rather it did."

"I didn't come here on ships business. I came because you looked so upset." He turned just before reaching her door. "I've been told I'm a good shoulder to cry on. I realize we're not close friends, but I want you to know I'm available if you need someone to talk to."

When she turned, he was gone.

"Status report?"

The bridge crew snapped to attention as Janeway made her presence known.

"All systems are functioning within acceptable parameters." Tuvok announced sounding uncannily like the ship's computer.

"Good. Tuvok, you have the bridge. Commander, my ready room, please." Janeway was silent until the door closed behind them. "I want to apologize for my unprofessional behavior last night. I assure you, it will not happen again."

Chakotay looked down at the woman before him. She was cool and collected standing before him this morning, but last night she had been an emotional mess.

"Permission to speak freely, captain?"

The swift nod of her head allowed him to continue.

"With all due respect, seventy years is a long time. I seriously doubt you'll be able to isolate yourself and your feelings for that long. It's not a good idea to make promises you can't keep."

"Commander, as the captain of this vessel, I can't let my emotions run wild. I have to keep them restrained so I can do my job."

"On my ship, I managed to find a happy medium." He was treading on a dangerous line, he knew.

"Well, I'm not you and this isn't your ship." She snapped. "Dismissed."

Chakotay hesitated before reaching out to cup her beautiful face in his hand. "Just remember that I'm here when you need me." Then he was gone.

Kathryn drew in a shaky breath. Was that what the doctor had meant by improving the feelings between the two crews? No! It was unthinkable! Her hand unconsciencly drifted to where he'd held her face. Mark! Mark! Mark! No. She sank into her desk chair. Mark wasn't here. Then she gave a short laugh. There was no denying that Chakotay was handsome or that her heart had fluttered madly upon her first glimpse of him, but he'd never love her if he knew she was pregnant. Better to leave it alone.

One month later...

"Here, captain. Give me a hand with this." B'Elanna handed Janeway a heavy panel and then turned away missing the look of horror that crossed her captain's face.

Quickly dropping the panel, Janeway remembered the doctor's words. "If you feel tired, rest. Eat nutrious meals. And above all else, no coffee or strenuous work!" Without realizing it, Kathryn's hand drifted to her stomach. A month ago, she had been willing to end the life growing within her. But now, she would kill anyone who dared take her baby away.

"Is everything ok?" B'Elanna's gaze rested on Janeway. She looked disturbed.

"Fine. What was it I needed to see?"

"This." Torres stuck her hand in the panel and came up with a mess of chips. "I'll have to reset everyone of these. I wanted for you to see how much work it'll be before I get requests for long range scanners and such."

"Of course. Take what time you need, but get it done quickly."

"Mind if I walk with you?"

Captain Janeway jumped as she exited sickbay and faced Chakotay. "Of course not. I was just on my way to the mess hall. Deck five." She commanded once they reached the turbolift.

"I'll join you." Chakotay smiled his dazzeling white smile at Kathryn causing her to want to melt.

No. Keep control, she reminded herself. "Anything you needed to discuss, commander?"

"Not really. Wait, yes there is." He reached over and snatched the data padd she had been holding. "Why are you always carrying one of these? Can't the captain take a five minute break?"

Janeway folded her arms across her stomach. No way could she tell him that it was to hide the bulge that was becoming more evident each day. "I have work to do. A captain's work is never finished."

"That's very noble of you, Captain. Noble and stupid, if you don't mind my saying."

"Since you just did, there isn't much point in my refuting it." She grabbed the padd back.

"Let me help you."

"What?" She met his eyes. Caring and warm. "Chakotay, I have to be able to handle my work load or else I'm not fit to serve as captain."

"No." He said softly. "You don't have to. You're going to be serving as captain for the next seventy years. Certainly you deserve to have someone to help ease your burden. Let me be that someone."

"I'll think about it." She replied stepping off the turbolift and entering the mess hall. Chakotay silently followed her. "Just some hot tea, Neelix."

"Captain! But look here." He held out a pot of a dark liquid. "I have a new blend of coffee you're sure to love."

"That's sweet of you, but I'll just have the tea today."

"But-"

"If she wants tea, then just give her tea." Chakotay broke in from behind her. "Make it two."

"Yes Commander." Neelix replied dissapointed.

Janeway was silent until they sat down at a table in the corner. "You really shouldn't have done that, Chakotay."

"What?"

"Talking like that to Neelix. He was only trying to help me."

"Then why didn't you just take the coffee?"

"I felt like tea." Janeway said softly staring at the light brownish yellow liquid in her mug.

"Well, now you've got your tea." Chakotay leaned forward and smiled at her. "And next you're going to give me that data padd and let me finish whatever is on it."

She frowned at him. When it came down to it, this first officer could be quite pushy. "I said I'd think about it."

"Not good enough." Chakotay reached over to seize the padd but caught her hand as she reached to claim the padd at the same time. Both stared at each other wide eyed before releasing each other's hand.

"Sorry." Kathryn whispered not feeling one bit apologetic.

"Are you?" Chakotay whispered back feeling his heart tap dancing on his ribs.

Janeway licked her lips nervously and broke her gaze from his.

"Kathryn?" He reached over and grasped her hand again.

"No,..." She didn't withdraw her hand, but made him do it instead. When Chakotay's hand finally let go of hers, she felt a bit of regret.

"Captain, a word with you?"

Janeway turned, startled for the second time that day. But instead of facing her first officer, she found herself staring at her chief of security.

"What Tuvok?" she asked slightly irritated. This Vulcan had been getting on her nerves since the first time she had laid eyes on him in Admiral Paris' office before the review board meeting. Although they had become friends since then, she still felt peeved at him once in awhile.

"I need to speak with you in regard to your relationship with Commander Chakotay."

"So speak." She leaned against a bulkhead ready to battle him.

"It is obvious to more than one crew member that you both are entertaining feelings toward one another. I-"

"Lieutenant, there is nothing between the commander and I besides a professional relationship. In the future, you will keep your observations to yourself. Is that clear?"

The dark Vulcan eyed the captain for a moment. "Aye, Captain."

"Good." Janeway turned away and continued her course to the bridge. She certainly didn't need anyone to tell her that a relationship with her first officer was a bad idea. She was doing enough of that herself. But remembering the warmth of his hand on hers... Kathryn drew in a deep breath and shook the image of comfort from her mind.

"Have you noticed anything different about the captain?"

Harry had the tuna sandwich halfway to his mouth as Tom posed the question. Taking a bite, he chewed thoughtfully for a minute. Swallowing, he answered. "I was wondering if it was my imagination."

"Nope. B'Elanna noticed it too. Something is defiantly up." Tom grinned evil. "I'd like to place bets that it has to do with a certain first officer."

"Chakotay?" Harry laughed. "C'mon Tom. The two of them are purely professional."

"Oh really?" Tom cocked an eyebrow. "I wouldn't believe that for anything. "I don't think they realized it, but they've been watching each other for nearly a month whenever the other so much as moves a nanometer on the bridge. Why, Chakotay nearly ran to her ready room yesterday with a report he had to hand deliver."

Harry shook his head. "I still think you're making a wormhole out of a dust particle."

"Mark my words, my friend," Tom patted Harry on the arm. "We're going to hear wedding bells for those two sometime soon."

"Who's getting married?" Neelix, the robust Talaxian cook/guide/moral officer pulled a chair over to the two officers.

"The captain and commander." Tom answered quickly.

"Tom has this idea in his mind that they are in love or something." Harry intervened with a laugh.

"Well," Neelix began wisely. "It could be true. Isn't a lack of appetite supposed to be a sign of falling in love amoung humans? I know the captain hasn't wanted any coffee for the past few weeks."

"See?" Tom stuck a chin out.

"I don't know." Harry shook his head dubiously. "Wasn't Janeway engaged or something before?"

Tom shrugged. "Dunno. Didn't pay attention to what my father told me about her. You, I suppose, read every log entry she ever filed and her whole profile in Starfleet records."

Harry blushed. That wasn't quite true. Quite. "I didn't read her log entries. Just the profile."

Tom burst out laughing. "This your first assignment or something, ensign?"

"Yes. But I thought it would be a good idea to know what the captain I'm serving under is like."

"Try stubborn and determined to fight." Tom waved a carrot in his friend's face. "She was kidnapped by Cardassians and held in one of their prison cells. When she was rescued, she was tracked by their Toskanar dogs and escaped by submerging herself in a swamp. Thinking she was safe, our captain crawled out and ran into a last Cardassian and Toskanar dog. She beat it to death with a stick." Tom leaned back. "That's our captain."

Harry's eyes grew wide. "How do you know this?"

"Starfleet logs." He grinned. "Starfleet encrypted logs that require admiral level clearance. Funny how much I can make myself sound like my father."

"Chakotay, I'm telling you, she was pale as death itself!" B'Elanna flung herself in the first officer's path as he tried to side step the half Klingon.

"What do you want me to do about it?" He folded his arms across his chest. "Tell the captain she needs to change her make up because her coloring is too pale?"

"No." B'Elanna glared at him. "I'd like for you to make sure everything is ok with her. Chakotay," she placed a hand on his arm. "I'm concerned about her. She doesn't interact with the crew, you're the closest thing to a friend she's got out here."

Don't remind me, Chakotay thought to himself. It hurt him to see her so distant from the crew and those who she would be spending the next seventy years with. Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, Chakotay finally answered. "I'll try to talk to her. But, no promises."

B'Elanna's eyes lit up although the grim frown she always wore stayed in place. "Thank you, Chakotay."

Kathryn took another sip of the hot tea. As was the norm for these past few days, she felt her mind drift to her baby. What would she name her? What would she be like? Would she have her mother's fiery blue eyes? Or her father's grave brown ones? Would she be a science whiz? Or more interested in philosophy? What would it be like to have a childhood in the Delta Quadrant? How would the crew react to a child? What would Chakotay think?

His opinion was becoming more and more important to her every day. Not just as a first officer, but as a friend. No, more than a friend. Ever since he'd glowered down at her, his captor, she had felt an irresistible attraction to the man. Mark had loved her, and she him, but Mark had never evoked the feelings Chakotay had.

*Beep*

Kathryn jumped as her door chimed, and then looked around frantically. She was only wearing her light pajamas, the bulge at her waist that the larger uniform covered was extremely visible. Wrapping a blanket around her shoulders, she answered, "Come."

Chakotay's tall form slipped inside and then came to stand before her.

"Can I help you?"

Taking a seat on the other end of the sofa, Chakotay took in her bright blue eyes and the long hair falling over her shoulders.

"B'Elanna's concerned about you."

All of the openness in her eyes vanished. "There's no reason to be concerned."

"You were pretty pale in engineering the other day. She wondered if you were sick."

"She handed me a panel and it was heavy." Janeway arranged the blanket around her. "It was nothing."

"Kathryn..." he hesitated. Dare he tell her he was falling in love with her and that made him doubly concerned about her well being? No, she would only push him away. The idea of a Maquis and Starfleet captain falling love was impossible. "We're your friends. If something is wrong, we want to help."

"Everything is fine."

Chakotay's gaze pierced her. "I don't believe that. Something isn't right."

"There's nothing wrong!" Janeway cried leaping to her feet. "I think it'd be best if you left, commander." Too late she realized her mistake. Chakotay's eyes were glued to her waist which had become exposed as the blanket dropped to the floor.

Wide brown met cool blue as their eyes locked.

"Well, now you know." She gave a cold laugh. "Go away and gossip with your Maquis friends about the pregnant captain." Turning away, she quickly made her way to the view port before tears of humiliation coursed down her face.

Chakotay was frozen to the couch. She was pregnant! Well, that explained the past month's odd behavior, but he had so many questions. Taking a deep breath, he began. "Kathryn?..."

"Just go away." She gasped hating whatever hormones were responsible for this onslaught of tears. "If you have any decency, you'll leave and keep this to yourself."

Chakotay rose from the couch and went to stand behind her. Two and a half months. That was all the time he'd known her, but oh how he loved her. "What are you going to do?" he asked softly as he placed his hand on her shoulders and forced her to lean her back into this chest.

"It looks like I'm going to have a baby." Janeway snapped. She didn't pull out of his grip, she should, but if felt so safe. Without warning, Chakotay's arms slid around her waist and came to rest on her stomach.

"Who's the father?" he whispered against her hair.

Those three words startled Kathryn back to reality. Pulling away from his arms, she turned to face him. "Mark. Mark Johnson. My fiancee."

"Not married?"

A hot flush crept up her cheeks. "No."

Chakotay stared out the viewport amazed he had been so forward. "What kind of life are you planning on giving this child?"

"The best one someone in my position can." Janeway reacted quickly.

"Raising a child alone will be very difficult."

"I am aware of that. But I don't have much of a choice."

"You do." He wanted to rip his tongue out! Why had he said that?!?

"What do you mean?"

Chakotay was silent for a minute. "We're seventy years from home, from your fiancee. At the moment, it's very unlikely we're going to see them soon. I love kids, Kathryn. We could get married and I could help you raise this baby."

"No. She doesn't need a father. I'll do fine by myself."

A soft smile of wonder tugged at Chakotay's lips. "A girl? You know it's a girl?"

Janeway turned away. "Yes. It's a girl."

"Marry me, Kathryn."

She shook her head forcefully. "I will not get married because someone felt they had to take pity on me and my daughter."

"Kathryn!" Chakotay gripped her shoulders as he spun her to face him. Staring into her bright blue eyes, he thought to himself, you're in this far. "I'm not marrying you because I pity you. I-"

"Exactly right commander, because you're not marrying me at all! Ever!" She tried to pull free of his grip, but he held fast. "Let go of me commander. I think you need to leave and take all of your ideas and-"

"I love you, Kathryn!"

Janeway stopped in mid sentence and stared at him. Chakotay dropped both his hands and eyes from her.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blurted my feelings out like that." She still said nothing. "Close your jaw, captain."

Quickly, she snapped it shut. "Chakotay, we've only known each other for two months-"

"-two and a half-"

"-how can you know you love me?"

"I just do. I knew it almost the instant I saw you. There was a hard look in your eyes, but warning bells went off immediately, I just ignored them." He ran a hand absently through his hair. "And now, I'm paying for it." He muttered to himself.

"Excuse me?" Kathryn couldn't quite believe what was happening and she was puzzled by his remark.

"Nothing."

"Unacceptable. What did you mean that you're paying for it?"

Chakotay closed his eyes and tried to gather some inner strength before pouring his heart out to her. "I should have paid more attention to my gut feeling and stayed as far from you as possible. If I had, I-" He took a deep breath. "I wouldn't have fallen in love with someone who will never love me." At her confused expression he added, "You're Starfleet and I'm Maquis. Even if you actually returned my feelings, you couldn't act on them because of my past." He turned away unable to endure her azure gaze. "I'm sorry, captain. I should never have come here or spoken my mind so freely. I had no right." Turning back, he added, "Maybe we can just keep each other's secret?"

Janeway gazed at his back for a minute. Dare she? "Are you saying you won't marry me?" She asked boldly.

Chakotay let her catch his eyes. "My past wouldn't bother you?"

"We all have pasts, Chakotay. Some are more evident than others." She looked down at her middle before taking a hesitant step toward him. "It doesn't bother you that I'm pregnant?"

Chakotay caught her by the wrist and drew her into his embrace. "I'll be honest and tell you that I wish it was my child and not Mark's. But I would never hold that against our girl. And she will be ours because, although Mark is her biological father, I'm going to be her daddy. Even if we don't get married, she'll need a daddy."

"Maybe...." Janeway pulled her face out of Chakotay's chest. "Maybe we'll have children of our own in a few years."

"Kathryn?" his heart leapt. He knew she could feel it thumping against his ribcage.

"I love you, Chakotay. I'd be honored to marry you." She whispered knowing this would be the best decision of her life. As Chakotay's bent to meet her lips, Kathryn rejoiced that she had been ripped out of her comfortable future with Mark.